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Thoughts on......

2011-02-10T03:28:00.002Z

THE HOLY SPIRIT IN THE TRINITY

The identity of the Holy Spirit as Person and His role in the Trinity can be understood only when we consider and answer the following four questions:

Is the Spirit of God a Person in contrast to being just divine energy or power?
Is He a fully Divine Person or is He inferior to the Other Persons, Father and Son?
What is the role of the Holy Spirit in the Trinity?
What are the implications of the Trinitarian role of the Holy Spirit for us as members of the body of Christ?

These are huge issues and can be dealt with only cursorily in this essay – the reader should not be tempted to think that this article is exhaustive!

Question 1: The Old Testament (OT) abounds with references to the Holy Spirit, the first reference being the very second verse of the Bible (Gen.1:2). Admittedly, before the advent of Jesus Christ and His explicit teaching on the Spirit, the Personality of the Spirit could not be conclusively established. Having said that, I shall surely argue that the OT references do not encourage the conclusion that the Spirit is some kind of divine energy or force. For example, in II Samuel 23:2, Ezekiel 11:5 and Joel 2:28, the capacity to speak is attributed to the Holy Spirit – it should be noted that speaking is the quality of a Person, not that of a thing. Jesus would echo the same aspect of the Personality of the Spirit when He attributes David’s statement in Psalm 110:1 to the Holy Spirit (Matt.22:43). Micah 2:7 and Eph.4:30 imply that the Spirit can be angered or grieved – both personal qualities. Of all Biblical writers, John the evangelist is clearest in his comments on the Spirit. In John 15:26; 16:8,13,14, he uses the masculine pronoun He for the Holy Spirit although, according to Greek grammar, he should have used the neuter pronoun It, because the Greek word for Spirit (to pneuma) is neuter in gender. John commits this deliberate grammatical mistake only to affirm the Personality of the Holy Spirit. God the Holy Spirit is a PERSON.

Question 2: From both Testaments, we see that the role of the Holy Spirit is to fully represent God. For example, Gen.6:3 – “My Spirit will not contend with man forever” - implies that God will not keep striving with the human race; there is complete identification of the status of God with that of the Holy Spirit. Similarly, Peter rightly accuses Sapphira, Ananias’ wife of ‘testing the Spirit of the Lord’ – Acts 5:9 – meaning that the couple had jointly plotted on lying to God Himself. John has more to say on the standing of the Holy Spirit in the Trinity; Jesus says that it is for the good of the Church that He has to go away to the Father so that He can send the Holy Spirit upon her - John 16:7. This obviously means that the presence of the Holy Spirit will be identical to that of Jesus, except that while Jesus, as a physical human being was limited to one place at a time, the Spirit will be available to all believers in every place all the time! In a similar passage – John14:23 – Jesus says that Father and Himself will come to make their home in a believer. But how can this come about? Only because the Holy Spirit Who indwells the believer can fully represent the Father and the Son to him (her)! The Essence of the Holy Spirit is the same as that of the Father and the Son – the Spirit is EQUALLY GOD.

Question 3: To answer this and the next question, we have to look at Scriptures reflectively – no proof-texts will do. In John 17:20-23, we hear Jesus praying for unity (oneness) among the believers that will reflect the Oneness of the Father and the Son (John 10:30). The word One in these verses is in the neuter gender in the Greek – this means that John is not referring to the oneness (or sameness) of persons but rather the oneness of being (or essence). In other words, these verses rule out the Unitarian suggestion that Father and Son are actually one Person playing two roles. Those cults who call themselves Christians but deny the Trinity claim that the Father and the Son are the same Person playing two roles – like a man (one person) is both husband (to his wife) and father (to his children). Thus it is clear that the Father and the Son are two distinct Persons who share in the same Divine Essence.

We should now proceed to ask the question, “How are the Father and the Son One in their Divine Essence?” The answer: Through the Holy Spirit’. How do we know this? Jesus is praying that the Oneness of God should be reflected in the unity of the Church. How can the Church, which comprises many members, be one entity? The answer: Only through the Holy Spirit.

But there are various aspects of this Unity in Diversity that the Scripture encourages us to explore. Firstly, the agency of God the Holy Spirit in effecting oneness in the Church is only because He is the One through Whom the love of God (the Father) is poured out on us (Rom.5:5). This, we can safely conclude, is a reflection of the role of the Holy Spirit within the Trinity – Jesus tells the Father about the eternal love in the Trinity even before the creation of the world (John 17:24). We can therefore understand that the Divine Agent of communication of this love in the Trinity is God the Holy Spirit through whom the Father and the Son are constituted One God.

Secondly, we see that the Holy Spirit is also the Spirit of knowledge and communication; in fact, love cannot be love in the absence of a relational knowledge and its attendant communication. Paul makes it clear that it only through the Holy Spirit, we can know anything that it is of God (I Cor.2:10b,11). This, again, is a reflection of the role of the Holy Spirit in the Trinity – of forging the amazing knowledge-relationship between the Father and the Son. The medium of communication – for example, a language – is useful only when it is understood both by the speaker and the listener. We reverently conclude that the Divine Personal Medium of communication of knowledge in the Trinity is God, the Holy Spirit. This is possible only because the Spirit suffuses and therefore connects the Father and the Son – that is why the Holy Spirit is referred to in the New Testament (NT) as both the Spirit of God and the Spirit of Jesus; both uses can be seen in Romans 8:9.

Thirdly, it is through the Spirit that true freedom and identity are possible. Love liberates and does not enslave. The Spirit of love and communication is also the Spirit that provides the freedom to be oneself. In this context, it is important for us to note that freedom is a relational quality – it is not a stand-alone entity. At the present stage of our culture, we have become thoroughly individualised – for us freedom actually has come to mean, “I can do what I want!” But is it really so? While playing football, are we free to shift the goal posts? The rules of the game help us to relate to each other and provide us the freedom to play the game. The same is the case with our identity. Our names give us an identity only because they tell us the identity of the family we belong to. In the Trinity, the Holy Spirit is the One through whom the Father and the Son are One – but by the same token, it is through the Spirit, the Father is free to be the Father and the Son is free to be the Son because where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom (II Cor.3:17). The Spirit of God provides that free relationship in the Oneness of the Trinity that the identities of the Father and the Son are not erased but enhanced. It is in this amazing function that the Spirit operates only to bring glory to Jesus (John 16:14) and through Him, glory to the God the Father (Phi.2:11)!

Question 4: We can briefly make three corresponding applications to the centrality of the work of the Holy Spirit in the life of the Church:

Firstly, the Church reflects the Trinity through the love that is shown towards the members of the body of Christ (John 17:20-23). The Bible, in the OT and the NT, makes it abundantly clear that our inward love for God is empty sham if it is not expressed in outward love towards our brothers and sisters. The Holy Spirit who bonds the unity of the Trinity is the One through whom the fruit of the Spirit has to be shown in the life of the body of Christ (Gal.5:22,23).

Secondly, we recognise that the gifts of the Holy Spirit are meant to communicate the truth of God by word and deed. Paul has 3 passages on the gifts in the NT (Rom.12:3-9; I Cor.12,14; Eph.4:7-13) but Peter summarises them in one short verse – I Peter 4:11. Without neglecting the exercise of the gifts of the Spirit, we need to emphasise the centrality of the fruit of the Spirit. A very gifted Church as the one in Corinth seemed to lack the fruit of the Spirit so that Paul had to sandwich a Spirit’s fruit chapter (I Cor.13) between two gift chapters.

Thirdly, the unity of the Body of Christ does not remove the beauty of the diversities that make up the Church. We are differently called and differently gifted and yet we are gloriously one in Christ. We are drawn from every nation, tribe, people and language (Rev.7:9) and our identities are not erased but enhanced by the Holy Spirit in a marvellously redemptive way. It also shows us that unity is not to be confused with uniformity or unanimity. While we are agreed on all the fundamentals of the Christian faith, we are, by the Spirit, enabled to be creatively different. We recognise God is not a cloner and He has made us differently from one another so that together, we could express the unity of the Triune God in the multi-dimensioned mosaic of the Church!

Crosses

2010-11-08T17:35:00.000Z

If you’ve been praying for greater faith and love and freedom from selfishness and more of God, you probably need to read this and take heart. Our Father “disciplines us for our good that we may share his holiness” (Hebrews 12:10).

Prayer Answered by Crosses
By John Newton

I asked the Lord that I might grow  
In faith and love and every grace,  
Might more of his salvation know,  
And seek more earnestly his face.

‘Twas he who taught me thus to pray;  
And he, I trust, has answered prayer;  
But it has been in such a way  
As almost drove me to despair.

I hoped that, in some favoured hour,  
At once he’d answer my request,  
And by his love’s constraining power  
Subdue my sins, and give me rest.

Instead of this, he made me feel  
The hidden evils of my heart,  
And let the angry powers of hell  
Assault my soul in every part.

Yea, more, with his own had he seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe,  
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,  
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.

Lord, why is this? I trembling cried;  
Wilt thou pursue this worm to death?  
This is the way, the Lord replied
I answer prayer for grace and faith.

These inward trials I now employ  
From self and pride to set thee free,
And break they schemes of earthly joy,  
That thou may’st seek thy all in me.

The Hallway and the Rooms

2010-10-23T18:19:00.000+01:00

The Hallway and the Rooms

The Defence and Confirmation of the Gospel - RC Sproul

2010-04-16T17:02:00.002+01:00

T4G 2010 -- Session 2 -- R.C. Sproul from Together for the Gospel (T4G) on Vimeo.

Being Willing

2010-02-23T23:16:00.000Z

Love thy neighbour as thyself

-Jesus of Nazareth-

An ancient text says "Honour thy father and thy mother, that thy days may be long....". powerpuffgirl asked powerpuffmom, in whose image she was 90% replicated, whether this blessing / admonishment would apply to honouring of another's father and mother. Reason being that powerpuffgirl has been tasked with general oversight of the household, again, whilst all the other competent adults are away. Said household has 3 flu-plagued old folks and said overseer has the same cold. Being a superhero necessitates that powerpuffgirl is immune to all drugs and medicinal remedies available, though apparently she is not immune to contracting nasty flu bugs once everyone else begins to recover.

And it wasn't that they didn't have other, perfectly able-bodied sons and daughters to look after them. It's just that powerpuffgirl was there, it was kinda convenient for her, even when it wasn't always convenient. But it doesn't really matter what other people do or choose. The world we live in is one in which the few are often carrying burdens of the many. It's a fact of life we can either rail against or redeem. The global economic crisis, which powerpuffgirl is beginning to suspect is being used by unscrupulous multinationals to costcut at the expense of the ordinary men-on-the-street's livelihoods, is a fine example. The increasing divide between the wealthy (of which there are a greater number than ever before) and the poor - not underprivileged - let's be brutally honest - people living in chicken coops dirt poor - is a result of self-pursuits.

There are more 21st century kings, but still their fabulously rich dynasties remain just that - inward looking, self gratifying dynasties. Even with some of the clearly uncommon advantages afforded to these chosen few, with the tearing down of racial, cultural and social boulders and the rise of democracy, merit, and human rights, we find that there are still children working in modern industrial factories. Now they don't make matchsticks, but running shoes. There are still dictators killing their own citizens and whole governments who proclaim democracy and spend billions of hard earned tributes from their citizens, on creating, not resolving conflicts. Now we don't kill in the hundreds of thousands, but in the millions. They say that we study history in order to learn from it. But what are we learning?

Sometimes all we need is a little reminder that we are dust. That one day, all our dreams will fade, whether we accomplished them or not, our cars will rust, bodies return to the earth, and if we are fortunate, our stories, our legacy of memories and deeds and words, might be preserved for some future generation to sift through. There is no subjective standard when it comes to the treatment of another creature. We devise new excuses. We justify the defense of ourselves, our lands, and forget to ask ourselves what makes it ours. Man cannot seal up the flaw in his inherent nature, until he surrenders to a law greater than himself and his own needs.

Recently, in a visit to elderly relatives, powerpuffgirl found herself at a rickety sink, washing up dirty eating utensils and pots. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't to be despised either. The thought crossed her mind that those same soapy hands played the piano, twirled drumsticks, picked out tunes on ridiculously expensive guitars. They were responsible for writing what often influenced millions of dollars, determined the course of important international decisions. They'd been held and were desired to be held by any number of admirers, friends and little adoring kid cousins. They were strong, slender, soft hands that were made to change the world, or so powerpuffgirl liked to think, on the really good days. And yet, they scratched the dog behind its ears and washed up too-old, worn-down, scratched-filled pots for sick people who were too weak to bother if the pieces of leftover chicken were stuck to the bottom of the container.

Its strange how one instrument can be so humble and yet so vital. So versatile. No superpowers required. Just the earnest ability to ask "May I do this for you?" and say "Sure - I'd love to." It wasn't even intentionally altruistic. She was under orders of powerpuffmom, who, after all these years, still managed to twist powerpuffgirl's arm without actually lifting a finger, just kinda ESP-ing instructions on how to serve others. It wasn't a great thing. Heck, there were a lot of them, but they were pots. Anyone could have done it. But suddenly it felt like a privilege because it wasn't anyone, it was powerpuffgirl who got to volunteer to, for a short half hour, do something that meant nothing to her but much to others. For even the consummate idealist, there is a reality. And that reality may, in its humiliations and quiet moments, be just the reminder needed to draw a caped crusader back to her core humanity.

2010-02-20T23:23:00.000Z

When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.

-Madeleine L'Engle-

In, what seems an age ago, powerpuffgirl was young and foolish enough to believe that being, oh, 25 was ancient, and far too old for one to still be alive, and 30 was pretty much the far end of the hill. Having now passed ancient (with some years since), she's wondering how it was that she got here - head intact, even more impossibly idealistic, and a lot less disillusioned, despite living and working in an environment that, at first glance, is diametrically at odds with a powerpuff type.

She gave up trying to save the world all by herself. All those ranting at monsters and swatting at things that go bump in the night, whilst worrying about the sort of things that 12-year olds ought not to be worrying about, trickled away and turn into a stream of intrinsic hope.

Pretty much because there was a safe environment to grow up in - not ideal - but safe, in every way. Kids make mistakes, they spill red ink on the sheepskin rug, try to dash across roads without thinking of the consequences, have to be toilet-trained, and before that, potty-trained, and before that, ass-wiped, cry frequently, don't pay attention when they ought to, for their own good too, and pretty much freak/stress out the adults tasked with making sure they do grow up - head intact, still madly believing in goodness and with big dreams to chase down. When they get older they talk back, sneak out of the house and break curfew, refuse to communicate, sulk, won't pose for family photos and get into a heck of a lot of trouble which we aren't going to discuss in detail here. Later on, they just keep asking for money and you wonder which bottomless pit it all goes to, when they're already eating you out of house and home. This goes on, infinitum, until the caregiver-child relationship breaks down, through death or estrangement.

There's a point at which the dynamic changes. The caregiver becomes the aged parent, whose needs begin to increase and finally on balance, outweigh their degree of usefulness (at least so some would think). They have sleepless nights and need to be re-assured that they're not all alone. They can't get out much because their knees hurt and they can't walk and need to be pushed around in a wheelchair. Sometimes the aged parents have debilitating / length / frustrating / messy illnesses. Sometimes all of those traits come into play, making it, frankly, a heroic effort to deal with them. But powerpuffgirl, even on the days she isn't feeling very super, doesn't think its any much more heroic than what the first caregiver had to go through. In general, most aged parents may need a challenging degree of care for maybe 10 years, if you're lucky. Sometimes they get depressed, act stubborn, and give you a heck of a lot of trouble which details we won't discuss here. It costs money to get them medicine and supplies, never mind they're still eating, and alive, and able to smile at you sometimes, on the good days. It's tough.

But powerpuffgirl remembers her Koong Koong (Grandfather) wiping her ass, yes he did, and she's not ashamed to say it, when she was just a powerpuffbaby and violently ill and freaking out and her superhero parents were out working. She recalls being carried (even when she wasn't all that little anymore) for miles and miles and miles not because she couldn't walk but just because she wanted to be carried. She always had someone to drive her to school and lots of other places that kids want to go, and know that it was okay to be far away from the familiarity of home because she always had someone who would be on call 24/7 to get her if she got scared and chickened out. She was put to bed everyone night, up until she was maybe a powerpuffteen. When she was too big to be tucked in, Koong Koong would still come by and annoy her at night (it felt like an annoyance at the time, silly girl) by checking that she was asleep and getting alarmed when she wasn't. She didn't realise it was such a great thing to be cared for, without asking, without demand, and without even wanting it but always needing it. It was a safe environment to grow up in. She was superloved. She could fall down after trying to fly and there would be someone to pick her up and bandage her scraped knees.

Children grow up resilient not because they're left to fend for themselves but because they've been shown how to be strong. They are taught out of love, disciplined through tears from both sides, and knowing that they are allowed to make mistakes, are unpretentiously confident because they have nothing to prove in order to be considered valued, significant, worthy of relationship. On the other hand, there are some "high performers" who still go around with chips on their shoulders because they didn't know which of the old blocks they were supposed to be a chip off of. They perform, at any expense, to dispel potential rumours and possibly shore up evidence that they may be related to an old Victorian mansion, preferably one of the restored ones. But those who inherited the city on a hill never worry that someone's going to say otherwise about them. They've got the title deeds, which were given to them by someone who modelled to them how to act honourably and selflessly, in authority over themselves and their realm.

A couple of days ago, there was an article in the paper about how to get through times of adversity. Apparently, a study indicated that those who had gone through particular hardship at an earlier age learned coping mechanisms and so, as adults, were able to deal with crises better. That isn't in dispute, However, the article then went on to suggest what those poor unfortunate souls who had happy childhoods were to do in order to catch up (ya, it actually serious. Someone please revoke the degrees of those who ran the study). Without lambasting this ridiculous proposition further, powerpuffgirl thinks its utterly tragic that anyone would honestly believe they're a success because they've made it by themselves, no thanks for the help, opportunities, shoulder(s) to lean on, interventions and saving graces extended by other human beings. It helps if you've had those experiences earlier.

The writer of said article obviously didn't have a Koong Koong (Grandfather) to show him it's okay to be vulnerable in times of crises. 'Cos when you've got people who love you just because, you can sleep easy at night knowing you're never without someone who'll catch you when you fall. And you know you'd do just the same for them, if the roles were reversed. Without romanticising the difficulties, it is a great thing just to have someone you once needed (and often still do, but perhaps in other ways), who now needs you.

Moving on

2010-02-08T18:40:00.000Z

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to know the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

How I Read a Book

2010-02-08T17:11:00.000Z

How I Read a Book

Now I know why I use Apple Inc products...

2010-02-08T09:38:00.001Z

Do You?

2010-02-01T16:35:00.001Z

What is the meaning of Jesus' death?

2010-01-27T19:19:00.005Z

An insight from G. McFarlane , my tutor from college.

"Here at LST we believe unequivocally in the relevance of the cross in a sad, post-modern western culture. It means that beyond the deathly influence of our individual lives lies a greater reality. It is the power of God's love to transform all that breaks and damages our humanity. It is the chance of belonging in communities where the power of the cross is at work, where self-giving love rather than self-serving operates and where God's Kingdom begins to break into the lives and communities around."

~Graham McFarlane ~

What is the meaning of Jesus' death?

No doubt you have some answer to give on the subject. After all, if you have the LST Review in your hands there is a good chance that you are: a. Christian; b. from the evangelical stable, and so will have something to say about the cross of Jesus, because our entire faith and identity are formed by our understanding of Jesus' death and resurrection.

It is sad, then, that there is, perhaps, no more contentious a subject in Christian theology than the subject and meaning of the Cross of Jesus Christ. For some, it is the symbol of self-sacrificing love; for others, it represents the dark side of human nature and God's angry response to it; for others, it represents victory over cosmic and demonic powers that would otherwise destroy us; and for some, it embodies one man's offering up of a true 'sorry' to God for humanity's rebellion and sin.

The truth of the matter is that there is no single understanding of the death of Jesus Christ. Rather, there are several different perspectives on the one subject. After all, the more complex the reality, the more diverse and different the ways of expressing and communicating it. Just think how boring it would be to have only one 'take' on women - or men! We are complex beings, and require different forms of self-description. How much more should this be the case when we describe the means by which Creator God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, brings us back to himself?

Here, then, is the rub: the cross, in some way, brings us back to God. But just what do we mean by this? Central to the whole discipline of systematic theology is the maxim: What I think determines what I do. If we think that the Cross represents God punishing Jesus for our sin, as though Jesus were some kind of whipping boy, then inevitably we think of God either as a severe Father or Judge: He is seen in stern and reprimanding ways. He becomes distant and our relationship with him tends to be one in which we try not to get 'on the wrong side of Him.' Ultimately, this breeds people who think the way to get along with God is to do things that will keep him happy and pleased with them, as though they have to keep God happy by being 'good.'

Alternatively, if we understand the Cross as the place where God shows how far he is willing to go in order to be our friend, where He affirms our worth by breaking the virus of sin and giving us a life that is vibrant and creative, then we see Him completely differently. This understanding tends to breed churches where people grow in friendship with the Father without fear of getting on the wrong side of Him and that, in turn, spills over in their own inter-personal relationships.

Now, obviously, I paint a caricature of both understandings of the cross. However, the point remains: how we understand the solution to our problem (sin) will determine how we think we should live (church). One of the great privileges of teaching theology today is the growing awareness that Father God is for us and that the cross is where He deals with all that separates us from His loving intentions.

I think this is good. Why? For much of our evangelical history we have presented the gospel in terms of 'guilt.' We are guilty before a holy God. And so we are. The problem today, however, is that our western culture no longer operates on the level of 'guilt.' Therefore, interpretations of the Cross that focus on guilt will not get through to people who do not think they are really all that bad.

Guilt arises from an understanding of relationship: I sense I am guilty because I know that I have done something wrong in relation to someone else. However, when people have no proper knowledge of God the sense of being guilty in relation to him is difficult to understand. One of the greatest cries of people's hearts is their desire for relationship, of being loved in this big, impersonal and individualistic world. They know that they are lonely. They know that they lack intimacy. They just don't know where to go to get it. Money doesn't really solve it - you just worry that it will run out; sex solves it only for a night; power seems to corrupt; and drugs do your head in!

Against this context, the good news is that the love of God is stronger than all the little deaths our loneliness brings. The evidence is that Jesus dies on a cross, acknowledges that our alienation from God comes with a tab, and goes on to show that his life is stronger than our rejection and attempts at independence. Dogmatically, such an approach underscores the reality of sin: there is a divine response to it; it really does matter. Yet, alongside this, there is also an underscoring of the purpose of such a response: to bring us into relationship with our Father God.

Here at LST we believe unequivocally in the relevance of the cross in a sad, post-modern western culture. It means that beyond the deathly influence of our individual lives lies a greater reality. It is the power of God's love to transform all that breaks and damages our humanity. It is the chance of belonging in communities where the power of the cross is at work, where self-giving love rather than self-serving operates and where God's Kingdom begins to break into the lives and communities around.

Pow-Wow!

2009-11-25T18:15:00.000Z

He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul” (Psalm 23:2–3).

Somedays, all we have within us is just enough strength to get by - and I guess we do get by because our Master, Giver and Father is by our side.

As much as King David always sought and cried out to the Lord to restore and renew His soul, I am convinced that we ought to be able to do just the same, and be ok about it - because this IS the normal Christian life, there are ups and downs!

And I know it is true because the bible tells me so.

Get real! This is what I will say to those people who keep talking talking talking about strength and joy each day and how we are not to be down or look gloomy or be emo because they have never come to realise how profound joy and strength is when it is centred in a process rather than mere emotions!

King David had those days that some of us have - ups and downs. So did Moses. So did Elijah. It is OK.

(but it should not be forever, it is a season of processing and realigning and working out one's faith)

Two Invincible Men

2009-02-06T17:57:00.007Z

The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives.

-Billy Graham-

Eulogies and Tributes have become surreal to me as I wonder why we only say all these things when these invincible ones leave us. In the last 2 weeks, I've had given 2 eulogies at the wake of 2 truly invincible men. Invincible not because they were successful, rich or made amazing noble prize winning discoveries. Invincible because of the lives they lived, humble and gentle, godly and righteous, loving and compassionate and with the integrity so founded in the truth as they touched the lives of many around them.

One of them was my grandfather, who went home to His Lord aged 83, just 2 weeks short of his 84th Birthday on 18 January 2009 after he had gone to worship His Lord in the morning, came home and had his lunch, chilled out on his chair by the window and moments later passed on as he was getting ready for a game of dominoes with my grandmother. God loved him so much to take him home while he was dozing off and as he awaken, imagine the amazing sight of Paradise with His Lord welcoming him home.

The second person was my friend Markus Ng, who went home to His Lord aged 23, also in his sleep on 4th February 2009 after returning home from a fruitful day of planning for his many projects aimed at transforming lives, and a treasured time with fellow "history makers" for Jesus praying and committing to being that light of the world in their workplace.

We often remember the good memories and the things these good men fought for. We see the way they spurred us on and encouraged us. And they did it without an ounce of pompousness, but with great humility.

I feel the loss of both men, both I would say really lived a very full life in all sense of the word. And they leave families who are shocked and surprised by their passing on because both were so unexpectedly sudden. I think it would take me a long time to understand what it means to grieve and rejoice at the same time.

Losing Markus saddened me because I felt we loss a dreamer, leader and a fighter - for freedom, justice, the underprivileged and for a nation with integrity - all these spurred on because of his love for the Lord. God knew his heart, and his vision but unlike us, so did Markus and he meant business. I remember teasing him, that he may well be Malaysia's very own Barrack Obama someday, and though teasingly - I really believed it, that if there was one person to go all the way - it would be Markus.

Markus and I met at the Malaysian Christian Conference in London and we instantly resonated with our shared passion in the maxim "you must be the change you wish to see in the world" because Jesus Christ called us to be salt and light of the world. Our authentic conversations and dreams turned also into chats surrounding music which then led on to the privilege I had when he played on my worship team throughout MCC. What I treasure most about him is his fresh insight, blending idealism and realism but most of all his humble disposition yet firm love for His Master. His legacy and hope for a better world is one we must carry on (excerpt of my eulogy to Markus read out at his wake service 5th February 2009)

The sovereignity of God is as such that we never know or fully understand completely why except that He does everything out of love and He knows best. But, this also means that for people like me who are still here on this earth, God still has a role for me to play - to champion the things these great men stood for and to multiply the rich legacy they leave.

For Koong Koong, there is too much to say because I knew him all my lifetime. For those 83 years, it would take a forest of papers and perhaps more than a decade before the works of the life of Mr Chew Kim Soon would be completed. Victor Hugo took 16 years to write Les Miserables and if I were to write about Koong Koong, I anticipate it would take me alot longer than that. But, instead of just words about this invincible man whom God chose as my grandfather, I want to honour him not with words but in the way I live my life the way he had lived his and would want me to live mine - passionately loving Jesus and serving Him unreservedly.

Two Invincible Men. Two Incredible Legacies.

By The Grace of God

2009-01-16T01:53:00.008Z

My heart is so proud.
My eyes are so unfocused.
I see the things You've done through me
As great things I have done.
And now You gently break me.
I cry just like a baby.
You hold me as my Father,
And mold me as my Maker.

Chorus:
And I ask You
How many times will You pick me up.
When I keep on letting You down?
And each time I will fall short of Your glory,
How far will forgiveness abound?
And You answer, "My child, I love you,
And as long as you're seeking My face,
You'll walk in the power of My daily sufficient, grace."

At times I may grow weak.
And feel a bit discouraged.
Knowing that someone somewhere
Can do a better job.
For who am I to serve You?
I know, I don't deserve You.
But that's the part, that burns in my heart,
And keeps me hanging on.

And You are so patient with me, Lord.

As I walk with You, I'm learning
About what Your grace really means.
How all of my transgressions
Were paid at Calvary.
So instead of trying to repay You,
I'm learning to simply obey You.
By giving up my life to You
For all that You've given to me.

"My daily sufficient grace."

What December Brings

2008-12-16T01:26:00.005Z

A bird doesn't sing because it has an answer, it sings because it has a song.

~Maya Angelou~

Anticipating it to be a great week ahead - I'm all cheerful, bright and shinny.

Renewal of friendships definitely, and deepening of shared journeys.

A and I had our sip of Chai tea latte, in a little catch up time before her big day this weekend, yet it wasn't the typical conversations on weddings and picking out things or fussing over any last minute stuff.

Resonance in friendship like that is like finding a needle in a haystack - by that i mean with those who you know are friends for keeps and for life. Funny how a bride to be and I would be chatting with deep passion about the devotional life, oikos evangelism and theology.

As God has put in her heart and mine that this season, the turn of the New Year is going to be one of Renewing Friendships Intentionally and Embracing New Friendships Responsibly. Jesus himself taught us from Scripture to Love our Neighbours all through the gospels. Solomon's wisdom in Ecclesiastes reminds us that a cord of 3 strands is not easily broken. More importantly, we see ourselves as agents of the gospel as per Jesus' Commission to us in Matthew 28, bringing good news to those whom we interact with, and whom God has put in our paths so that we too can appropriate Romans 1: 16 as Paul did - "I am not ashamed of the gospel because it is the power of God for the salvation of everyone who believes"

Ah, just am excited about the weekend and the many things that are on this Christmas season, from weddings to evangelistic musicals to feasting and reunions!

Time for me not to get lazy, and start getting the camera out to capture such treasured moments!

A, thank you for making time to catch up despite your overwhelming errands and schedules this week leading up to the wedding! Its gonna be a day of joyous celebrating and declaring God's goodness!

A New Day Has Dawn

2008-11-05T23:06:00.005Z

“If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.”

“The road ahead will be long. Our climb will be steep. We may not get there in one year or even in one term. But, America, I have never been more hopeful than I am tonight that we will get there. I promise you: We as a people will get there.”

“This is our time to put our people back to work and open doors of opportunity for our kids; to restore prosperity and promote the cause of peace; to reclaim the American dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth, that, out of many, we are one; that while we breathe, we hope. And where we are met with cynicism and doubts and those who tell us that we can’t, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a people: Yes, we can.”

~Barrack Obama, President of the United States of America~

"Yes We Can"

Famous 3 words on plague cards , t shirts , commercials and chants of voices....

Of the people, By the people, For the people...and glides in an amazing day in History, in honour of one man who made the impossible a reality. His name, Barrack Obama. His mission has just begun on this day...

His victory speech in Chicago truly moved me, and reassured me that there is hope yet for a better tomorrow, not just for the people of America but for the world. Staying up to hear the election results and the acceptance speech live made my day!

Particularly, what strikes me deeply is the massive turn out of the American people who voted at this year's elections on Super Tuesday. Over 68% of people turned up at schools and churches all over the US because they believe they were part of this American Dream...and because they wanted to make history together with the one man they believed was the right man for the job! Wow...it helps us see the heart of people - that they really really CARED and they knew their voices really mattered! Its the same feeling I felt when Malaysia had her elections this March, and we saw a rapid increase of voters and the swing in key states and seats going to the opposition.

One thing that we were discussing last week in our Ethics Lecture was - Do you change the society (or an individual) to change the culture, or do you change the culture to change society? And here we see an interplay of both strands...

A new day has truly dawn...and shouts of "Yes We Can" encourages me even in the very thing we do each day and our dreams that we sometimes write off, that perhaps what we need is resilence in a conviction so deep to believe the impossible and do our best to be change agents because "Yes We Can", even when we doubt, when we are cynical, even when others tell us we can't. YES WE CAN!

It is that time for and of "POSSIBILITIES"

The process of our own dreams or a revival in our churches is possible, and a God filled city with God filled people is possible...It may not be today or tomorrow or even in 2 years to come. The road is indeed long, but we will get there - as a united people who seek to reach each person for Christ and to make a difference!

Congratulations Mr Obama...and God Speed!

And that's not it...

Secondly, what struck me really deeply was Mc Cain's concession speech - it was one full of grace, integrity and support. He recognise that America had made a choice they can be proud of. So much emphasis can be put on Obama's victory speech yet I feel that credit needs to be given to Mc Cain in the way we lost, but with his head high, and with so much grace and support to his President, and once rival. These kinda things don't happen often. It is not a norm. And it should happen more. Mc Cain's speech really silenced me from the ra-ra ness rather it was very refreshing. Something we as Christians or just human beings can learn. I respect McCain because he responded with grace, and inspired others to support the man chosen to lead America. And he recognised that it indeed today was significant. History has been made. And a new day has indeed dawn.

For what its worth, I think both were good men. I believe they are both winners as they provided LEADERSHIP for their country today, in the way they won and lost. They both FINISHED WELL! McCain reflected his heart when he ended his speech brilliantly in saying "Today, I was a candidate for the highest office in the country I love so much. And tonight, I remain her servant"

"To congratulate him on being elected the next president of the country that we both love.

In a contest as long and difficult as this campaign has been, his success alone commands my respect for his ability and perseverance. But that he managed to do so by inspiring the hopes of so many millions of Americans who had once wrongly believed that they had little at stake or little influence in the election of an American president is something I deeply admire and commend him for achieving.

This is an historic election, and I recognize the special significance it has for African-Americans and for the special pride that must be theirs tonight.

I've always believed that America offers opportunities to all who have the industry and will to seize it. Senator Obama believes that, too."

~John McCain, Presidential Candidate 2008~

Me Church

2008-10-21T00:10:00.002+01:00

Where Church is all about "YOU"

How true isn't it sometimes that we want church to be all about us, and to fit our kinda fit.

Is this what we all prefer?
And is this true of churches today?

Got it?

2008-10-15T08:24:00.000+01:00

It's finally here.

The wait is finally over for me!

Check out the video and the new interface........I bet you despite the credit crunch, apple sales will hit rocket high with this new latest release of laptops.

How He Loves Me - A Testimony

2008-09-15T01:52:00.000+01:00

I heard this song today so powerfully sung and played before receiving the communion today at church, and I felt I could breathe again inside my spirit...because this is why I am still here, because Jesus loves me and is jealous for me.

And its in this powerful video. Let us all reflect on our own life right now, and thank the Lord for saving us who were once lost in darkness.

I will stand, as your welcome party in heaven.

How He Loves Me

He is jealous for me
Loves like a hurricane - I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy

When all of a sudden I am unaware
These afflictions eclipse my glory
and I realize just how beautiful you are
and how great your affections are for me

yeah, he loves us - whoa how he loves us so
whoa how he loves us
whoa how he loves us

we are his portion and he is our prize
drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes
if grace is an ocean - we're all sinking
so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
my heart turns violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets
when I think about the way that he loves us

Your Voice - Use it or Lose It!

2008-09-14T18:16:00.003+01:00

1. All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing.

2. No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little

-Edmund Burke-

Thousands gather in one voice as the uncertainties of politics stir a certain sense of justice and righteousness when Malaysia found herself as a country that could potentially open a pandora's box reached a climax when controversial arrests were made two days ago, sanctioned of course by the infamous draconian law known as the Internal Security's Act (ISA).

The voice of the people, somehow mattered. It stood firm behind those who they have put their faith in to lead Malaysia forward in hope of a better tomorrow, who stood fighting for freedom. Freedom that belongs to the people, and to the country that we love, a place most of us will call our tanahair.

Earlier this week, from the pages of press releases and articles fully concentrated on a certain individual AI, the repercussions and the potential mark of waves of protests that our parents lived through here in the 1960s that this country would hope never to see again is at the verge of setting itself once again. However, what I found interesting is that, our people are not living in fear as they once did before of any outbreaks of protests that are being anticipated for Sept 16. Of course, the older ones a more cautious and are asking their children to stock up on supplies and food (my parents included!). Perhaps, its something I am proud of because people believe in justice and have a hope that the "suara rakyat" is filtering through not as a lost cause but as a sounding trumpet for social change, transformation and freedom of what is just, right and honourable.

So many are speaking up, why not the Christians? We have people across races and religions speaking up and using the voice entrusted to them as people of this land to stand up for what is right. Far be it that we have silent christians in their own little world, oblivious to what is out there, and not participating. I feel, we need to encourage our Christian friends to me a whole lot more aware and concerned so they know what to pray for rather than just yeah, le'ts pray for Malaysia. One who prays with conviction, at least is serious enough to care about what he/she is seeking God for!

As Christians, some take the view that any form of protesting or challenging or voicing out to the government is in-submission to authority. Therefore, we should do nothing, just pray and that is enough. I strongly differ, and do so unapologetically. It is not that I am watering down the power of prayer, but prayer is powerful when we work with God, and believe God has put us in a place to stand up for what is right. He has given us wisdom, and a soul that seeks and pursues righteousness.

U know, let me share with you a perspective if you feel if you don't stand by the government means you are being in-submissive to authority. Who is the authority in this land? Have we thought about that? I only recently thought about it one day when my mom mentioned this to me. Who is the authority? What are we seeking to protect? Or rather what protects us? Freedom from what?

I can tell you - our submission to authority is NOT TO THIS GOVERNMENT, nor its officials and politicians. Our submission to authority in this land of Malaysia is to The Constitution. Our constitution is the highest authority of the land. That is what protects us and what we seek to protect. The rights of the people, this "suara rakyat"/voice of the people is the very essence and core of the principles by which this Constitution was written, and still stands today. Yet the events of the past few months, weeks and days surrounding this land, has done otherwise. And the invoking of the ISA and its use has only seen injustice and contradiction to our very own Constitution. Have we as true Malaysians forgotten what our forefathers fought for us? Do we even know what our Constitution says or what it is about? Its time we do. Let's save our anger and our rage and emotions if we have not first put right our ignorance by educating ourselves before we speak and before we rage angry vibes.

I've seen great impacts made by protests today that are non violent, non emotional and non extreme. This are true examples of the "suara rakyat". It shows too that people truly care, and are rational and stable in their thinking because they are passionate and convicted of what they stand for. It isn't a protest to cause disruption and instigating violence. But one to firmly state a fact. These are the people who want to see our Constitution used for the purpose it was written for. So all malaysians, you are best heard when you remain calm, have you head screwed on, and don't react. We believe in the voice of the people! This is our Malaysia.

I was at BLC today, and S was sharing some ideas of the forms silent witnessing can take place. And some were encouraged to honk at a certain time, stand still for one minute at a set time, not going in to work on sept 16 or for some lighting and holding candles at a set place and set time - to express their displeasure and passive protest to what is taken place in this country.

I totally agree, let's evoke our voice however we can, and in whatever form possible. And yet as i said earlier, pray is still our main weapon, yet couple with our testimony as Christians who stand up for what is right, we are truly living as God's instruments here on earth - for what He has called us to be for Him. A voice. A light. An expression of His love. His truth. And Hope.

As Christians, and as people of Malaysia, may people continue to be united by standing by what is right, just and honourable.

So, let us have courage. Be people who are bold and courageous because we are the "voice of the people".

Edmund Burke wisely noted "All that is necessary for evil to triumph is when good men do nothing".

It can be applied to all spheres, including sharing the gospel with a friend. Or it could possibly just by being oblivious and care free to the realities of what is happening in your world or mine.

At the end of it, despite all the mixed emotions that have boiled up within us in the mess our nation is in, and the uncertainties that lie head - our hope is found in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Today in church, I was reminded of this passage in Micah on how should we respond when all these things are happening? How Lord?

And what does the Lord require of you,

To LOVE MERCY

To ACT JUSTLY

To WALK HUMBLY with your God.

Still, the love and compassion of Jesus Christ first needs to be at the centre. Loving mercy, is about expressing our love and compassion for those who do not know the truth, who are still blinded that's why they do what they do. Our role is not to judge them but to love them even if we do not agree with their actions or feel what they are doing is wrong. Yet we love them. And at the same time, we also do our part by acting justly by standing in one voice, doing what we can for a better tomorrow. God will do the judging.

Spiritual Transformation and Social Transformation need to happen at the same time. And this is why Malaysia need our prayers. We will see spiritual revival when we see social-economic-political revival in this land.

Be courageous. If we don't use our voice, we stand to lose it completely.

And this is not just about Malaysia. It is about our world.

If spiritual revival matters to you, and world evangelisation and a better tomorrow matter to you, let me invite you to start a journey to start caring, start following and start praying for the US Elections. The US elections will affect all of us, more than you know. And we can all start praying for the right leader to lead the US because the entire shift of the world order depends on it. What happens there, will affect what happens wherever you are.

Be prayerful!

Walk By Faith

2008-07-17T15:27:00.002+01:00

Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields [b] with fire.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

This Psalm has helped me understand that God's POWER is the only thing that is keeping me together. I don't know how but I guess I gotta keep running back to the right and true source!

And I love Jeremy Camp's song which captures some of these things my heart wants to say to the Lord. The testimony behind how this song came about in itself makes the lyrics so meaningful. Here's the song:

Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see it
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With the one breath You make me
Your grace covers all I do

Well I'm broken- but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken- pouring Your words of grace

I will walk,
I will walk,
I will walk by faith
I will, I will, I will walk by faith

The Proof of Passion

2008-07-09T12:23:00.000+01:00

1. The proof of your passion is in your pursuits

2. A life that is full gives out but a life that is empty gives in

Since Easter, I've been revisiting entries in my journal on a fortnightly basis. This began as a random exercise, but I soon found it a significant feature in understanding the reason behind this blog and what I write, how I write.

The result of the exercise is this : A deep assurance that God takes care of me and watches over me as I grow up.

In May, God touched me very deeply when I went to Portugal - so deep that words can't articulate, yet it remains so real in my heart and mind. Here's a short video that E made when we shared at church one Sunday to reflect our time there. One thing I learnt from this trip is we need to take cities for Christ, and its possible to see a nation turn to Him. I have never prayed for a nation the way I prayed for Fatima, and as the Lord opened our eyes each day to see thousands of people in that courtyard who were so blinded by religion and not fear of God, I saw just how much people at large were hungry spiritually in their souls and how much people were looking for a Savior (answer to their needs).

Then, I headed back to my "tanahair" ie my homeland, with a bonus trip to Thailand with parents that challenged me again as I saw another nation so committed to their religion and gods but unfortunately blinded spiritually from the one true God. My heart broke very deeply as I walked the streets of Thailand seeing the older generation so sold out to this Buddhist and Taoist faith, and I finally understood how Jesus felt when it was said "He was filled with compassion for them" That's all I could feel especially when I saw the Ah-pos and Ah-koongs - a sense of deep compassion. I wasn't as bothered nor angered with the vices of the city of Bangkok but more sadness for the older ones I saw trying to make a living on the streets because I wanted so much for them to know God - to see a sense of abundance and hope in their faces.

I shared with my pastor who challenged me with this, "What are your pursuits?". He said it very lovingly to me to remind me that we can all talk about living a radical life, and about wanting to do this and that but are we actually living it out? I think what he was trying to tell me was I know it and I can talk about it, preach about it but what's more important is to really actively live it out by being intentional with my pursuits. And he followed on by saying to me, if I understand the urgency of the times today, my pursuits can only be in a particular direction and destiny.

I must admit that I'm not a natural when it comes to evangelising to others, or when it comes to sharing the gospel easily - I do get nervous, have goose bumps and would rather someone else do it, and I just pray or like what some people say, have the attitude that says "Yes Lord, Here am I but send him/her". Yet, God deposited something so real in my heart since Portugal for nations to come to know Him, and a deep sense of conviction, compassion and passion for peoples of a nation that I could not shake off. Everywhere I go, I see people and that same feeling stirs within me - what was I to do about it?

I was meant to be in Singapore on Father's day at my friend's church service but my Dad decided to drive only on Sunday afternoon instead of Saturday night so that meant I ended up in my church in KL. The sermon was on Acts. As this slide came up on the screen, I knew God was speaking to me directly "Passion is not the level of energy in our bodies but the level of fire in our obedience."

And it goes on to challenge the congregation about our call today to the world we live in
"Beloved, God has given us authority and He has given us the weapons of our warfare to help us, but we need to get up and fight. We need to repent of a passive spirit and stand with Christ’s authority in this day of war and battle. For if we fail to do either - pray or act, we might actually lose the soul of our nation! Our defeat might come, not because God's help was not available but because we saw the advance of evil and remained passive.

I needed to start tutoring my heart for this - and I thought I had loads of time to do that after the Breakthrough Weekend...Of course, what I did notrealise was that this was all part of the process of the work God started in Portugal and continued on right through the Breakthrough Weekend with God clearly reminding me of my One Life, One Purpose.

I am loving the way He is so gentle with me, and spurring me on to have the boldness and the courage to live...to exchange my weakness for His strength when I see myself as He sees me.
The courage to believe God when all else fails

The courage to act in obedience

The courage to change

The courage to persevere

I believe. I have hope.

Greater things are yet to come,

Greater things are still to be done in this city.

There is no one like our God.

Portugal - Sodom and Gommorah?

2008-05-09T00:40:00.001+01:00

For He is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think

~Ephesians 3 v 20~

Heading off to Fatima tomorrow with a team of 10 people from my church, and also my dear sister who by God's hand and timing decided to take 2 months off work. Has been good having her here the last week, and what more the coming weeks ahead of great sisterly adventures to come. We've already had one day of XBOX-ing on Halo 3 :). So much for bonding!

Well, as we prepare our hearts for Fatima in the week of the native religious Pilgrimage of the city, I pray God will open our eyes to see, and our hearts to be sensitive to all that is happening there. Been reading on it, and doing some research - alot of people theme this place, and especially this season as the modern day city of Sodom and Gommorah. Why? Namely because of the growing promiscuity of the immorality, lack of values and in a sense even wickedness in the city. I read Genesis 18 this afternoon, and I pray we too can be like moses as well and intercede for the people of this land.

I would appreciate pray for protection and guidance as we take God and His truth to them, to be a light that shines in the darkness that surrounds the place. Indeed, it is a spiritual ground.

Fact file is to the notch that there is only 1 evangelical church present in this city, and the rest well, its mainly catholic (yet these are the ones that some say are where the beginnings of the immorality originate) I am really sadden but yet God is speaking a REAL and POWERFUL word to me : Grace - to be magnanimous in my spirit and disposition.

I know our team's desire is to also encourage the local saints and the remnant few there who are that beacon of light in that city. I'm personally really excited as we're going TOGETHER as a team from CCIL - think its going to be an amazing shared journey we can definitely testify about. Good exposure! More amazingly, I'm looking forward to going on my first mission trip with my sister - now, that's a wow! I believe in faith God has great gems to deposit in our lives personally and in our relationship too!

Do cover us in prayer - From London to Lisbon to Fatima to Porto to London!!

Well -- so aside from the yummy Portuguese tarts that await me in Belem, this is what I signed up for the next 2 weeks on this Short Term Mission...

The force is with us :)

Woohoo!!

2008-03-19T21:57:00.001Z

If only I could muster the energy and strength to say it with such fervour and zest as the title suggests!! But, in any case woo hoo!!

I'm feeling alittle tired now, slumped on my nice leather chair typing this. Excited about tomorrow, but as always having a kezillion things on my mind - and checking off what I need to do, who I need to call, what I need to bring etc.

Meditating on John 10v10 reminds be how God has saved all of us from a purposeless life. Yet, do we realise what a great gift this is. To be honest, with the busyness of creating and planning the various simulations for camp, writing the debrief, sorting the "organisational" stuff - I've barely had time to sit down to really think about the talks proper. Albeit the 4 talks, I'm only gonna be giving 2 - the flow is important -ie how do we connect and bring people on a journey to that climax we seek - the Encounter with Jesus for themselves.

Am thankful that behind all these lies the 2 very people whom are like a backbone for me when it comes to packaging the spiritual side of things, processing with me.

Coming to the conclusion that the main message to communicate is that we DO NOT compromise on the message of the gospel. We want to bring the teens back to basics, that they are shaken to realise that the christian life is RADICAL. Ahem..Ra-di-cal. Saying it again, Ra-di-cal. So, what does that mean? To re-purpose ourselves to the values of the Christian faith and biblical truths. A fundamental biblical truth is what being a christian means, a question we don't tackle long enough or deep enough at times. Its dear to my heart that some of the teens make a commitment towards life transformation - what God does in their heart. I'm not interested in how many people say the sinner's prayer or put up their hands but I really want to know how God encountered them, and if they have that first hand faith!

Please pray for us as we seek to impart these 3 important biblical truths :

1.The Cross is your Salvation 2.The Cross is your Boast 3.The Cross is your Victory

I'm singing "Jesus, author of salvation, my God is mighty to save"

Hold the weather please Lord!! You're in control - and we surrender our Conference to you. Amen!

Good Conversations

2008-03-13T21:06:00.001Z

"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens the other"
~ Proverbs 27 v 17 ~

A good dose of medicine is a good chat with kindred spirits!

Had a good chat with my dear friend and big brother P today. Good to have his refreshing insights to life and ministry, especially so hearing about the recent BTW he just came back from. I guess, one thing he has made me realise is that being PA to the Senior Pastor is very much like he says, being the armour bearer. It took me a while to understand what that meant, until I consulted mr google, and then looked it up in historical terms - where in the army etc what that entailed. Kinda humbled me, that I am honoured and privileged to be able to do the same here for my own pastor - to understand the potential of the role I hold.

Another good chat I had tonight was with S, someone who connects with me and I realise today truly helps me process things bit by bit. It gave me hope. Hope that there is still a place for people like me. Yeah, its important to process things - not rationalise but process. There is a difference. And a good mentor, helps us process! I think the word realignment is healthy, especially when you have trusted friends whom God has placed in your path.

Just on the side, I am thankful that my sis and I have a brilliant relationship. She consults me, the big sister on some of the most important matters of her life (at least I think they are). Guess its exciting to note how God is leading her , and potentially giving her time to serve the Lord overseas too! Alright..go little sister. In my heart, of course, I am hoping she considers some place in Europe as it is nearer me :)

Ah..its the weekend again - and I've got friends visiting from Liverpool. That means, more feasting for me. But I hope to have a meaningful time with them doing meaningful things. Top on my agenda is hopefully, to catch a musical and to drag them to the Star Wars Exhibition in County Hall. Last time I was supposed to catch the Star Wars thing was years ago when it was in Edinburgh and I didn't get to go cos I didn't have enough time. Dinner is scheduled at my uncle's place - yay, I can collect the CNY goodies and my other "surprises"

Maybe, I may drag them Friday midnight shopping to Ikea with me to get my study table. That'll be cheeky!

I'm sounding relax eh...haha :) Good! I know its manic cos of the planning to the Easter Conference, Encounters and work, but God's good - and His strength gives me the impetus to relax and chill!

Have a good weekend!

Ooh-Aaah..

2008-03-07T19:45:00.003Z

“Life gives us brief moments with another...but sometimes in those brief moment we get memories that last a life time..."

Cambridge

I never realised how much I missed this place. The fond memories of years past. The bright smiles of street folk. The amazing aura of the place.

I took a walk back to the river Cam, to my safe spot - a spot only known to me, and maybe a handful of people I have shared it with. A place where I sat to talk to God, to myself and to think. A place where I cried, I laughed, I reasoned. A place where I knew love. The extraordinary thing about this spot is that I still felt that sense of warmth, safety, security and peace as I sat there, stood there looking into that beautiful view 8 years on since I was last here. Just as I walked away, a orangy brown leave blew towards me, and fell on my arm. The exact same thing happened to me 8 years ago when I said my goodbye to this spot. I looked into the sky, and I felt the Lord assuring me that He is looking after me and has been all this time, encouraging me to continue in my pilgrimage in the days ahead because He has got me sorted! What a profound way He ministered to my soul!

And, if not for the promise I made to H and B at PHAT Camp that I'll follow through with them, I doubt I would find myself back here this soon. And it was a promise I had to keep despite a last minute thing shoved into my "day off". No regrets though. This morning I managed to draw so much from Pastor S' impartation on youth ministry with her experience in US and I am honoured by her invitation to partner and go over to the US (and vice versa)

Back to Cambridge:

Being here as an urban young adult is quite different from my days here as a student. I see the hopes in the lives of these students on the street - their ambition and dreams, the ideal life of being at Cambridge, making something of themselves and making their friends and family proud. I see the fragility and the naive-ness of their lives. I see the drive of becoming one of the world's finest .......(you name it!)

My surprise last minute appointment with E was probably the highlight of my day. It proved to me that investing in the next generation is such a delight especially when you see first hand how they have grown in the Lord, and caught the heartbeat of heaven. I see E's life as a 1st year uni student at Cambridge, and I say to myself "wow" - seeing him taking leadership at his christian fellowship - going on a cause to teach English and do missions in China this summer - being involved and serving in his local church - what a way to make your life count at such a young age of 18, and cultivating such a beautiful heart for God.

Introduced E to H and B (secretly hoping maybe he can get to know them better, and possibly mentor them) before E left for his cell group, and H, B and I headed to have our Spanish Tapas at La Tasca. Pity we didn't catch the astounding sunset cos of the clouds. My time chatting, eating and chilling with these two 15 year olds brought much warmth to my heart simply because of their simplicity. U may be surprised that these 15 year olds probably get along with me better than my peers who like 25 year olds. I dunno...maybe you can say there is a connection of a "certain" different kind. Sometimes, I find that with these teens there is hardly any meaningless chatter - but more taking the time to listen to what they have to say, we do learn ALOT! (esp if we're seeking to be relevant and real to this generation!)

So, overall - I had a great day out even if it was just for a couple of brief hours in Cambridge. And I can only thank God for this breather from the manic of London, and work. Refreshed for the days ahead leading up to Easter Conference.

Thanks guys for making my day "chilled out" (wow!)

Fair Winds..

2008-03-05T22:36:00.000Z

Hope is that thing inside us that insists, despite all the evidence to the contrary, that something better awaits us if we have the courage to reach for it and to work for it and to fight for it
~Barrack Obama~

Tis the season came..

I speak of the year as one of Hope. Strangely enough an innate inkling to follow my heart's desires of the sublime satisfaction to pursue that which is right and noble, that which is not just a pigment of my imagination for a better tomorrow. And, to settle for nothing less than God's best for this season of life - where the adventure of the unknown and the uncertainty gives me that exciting electrifying sensation within the core of my soul of a life changing terrain that is to come.

So, I've quit adopting the whatever will be, will be mentality. And as my dear cousin J calls the "Que sera, sera" philosophy. The present and the future is mine, if I take ownership of it, of course. So with courage, boldness and trust in the faithfulness of my God and compass, I walk on with hope, I walk on exploring, I walk on expecting mistakes, frustrations and disgruntle but I walk on in hope because I am learning....learning to not short change myself in quitting and giving up or even feeling slightly regretful of things past but instead to trust in the faithfulness of my God.

Fair winds have blown into months of immense joy. Ending 2007 with the big shebang of having family around, and with a renewed voice of hope at the Malaysian Christian Conference brought me to a new hobby of "investment". Investment in the light of the words sacrifice, dying to self and discipleship. And my new hobby of investment is pretty lucrative - the returns are guaranteed and the windfalls are way above average :) Now, talk about ending the year with a bang!

Apart from the amazing things I see happening within church and in my own life the last few months, I believe there is a wave and a surge of revival happening in the lives of young people across the cities, the nation and the world. The cry of the young urban generation, the gen-x and ys of today are having their voices heard, way beyond just charades of meaningless conversations. Instead, there is a cry for something deeper, maybe even something spiritual that cuts to the heart to fill the empty void of intimacy.

I am thankful and honoured that God has taken me on this pilgrimage to many varied camps in 2 months alone. Journeying from South London with urban young adults, and moving up to taking the talks at an eye opening retreat with the Liverpool Student Fellowship, then back down to the Encounter Weekend with the community kids and then speaking at PHAT Camp where I saw youths from different churches from UK and Belfast turning to Christ, and being ministered to in such a profound way. For the deep work the Spirit has done in these lives, one can only stand amazed in the presence and power of the Lord.

What stands out on such adventures ? I believe its 2 things - expect the unexpected and to keep the main thing the main thing - the centrality of the cross of Jesus Christ (yes, the gospel!)

One can never get tired of seeing lives being changed and touch by God. And I'm definitely going to fight for it.

So dream with me, and fight with me...

A great challenge yet awaits me with the upcoming Teens Easter Conference, a project that is very much on my heart which begets this question "what are you centred on". Radical and provoking a conference that it is, the goal is to restate the obvious that the most important truth to mankind is the finished work on the cross. And I felt a need to try out something new, which is a big risk. I left things real late - 80% of time is praying and only 20% actual planning yet I am thankful that God gave me such a great team who've journeyed with me - with a synergy only possible because of Him.

Visit our blog if you want :) (its not much)

My spiritual dad hit the nail on the head for me with this : It is very key for us to see beyond the present and immediate. We need to see God in the person and what God could do in and through the person.

This generation and the next, implores us to care. To really care. Caring beyond the charade of meaningless conversations.

I want to hope for a better tomorrow not just for ourselves, but for those that come after us.

Jesus Take The Wheel

2007-12-15T19:57:00.000Z

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.
~Charles Dickens~

Jesus Take The Wheel
She was drivin' last Friday on her way to Cincinnati
On a snow white Christmas Eve
Goin' home to see her Mama and her Daddy
With the baby in the back seat
Fifty miles to go and she was runnin' low
On faith and gasoline
It'd been a long hard year

She had a lot on her mind and she didn't pay attention
She was goin' way too fast
Before she knew it she was on a thin black sheet of glass
She saw both their lives flash before her eyes
She didn't even have time to cry
She was so scared, she threw her hands up in the air

(Chorus)
Jesus take the wheel
Take it from my hands
'Cause I can't do this on my own
I'm letting go
So give me one more chance
Save me from this road I'm on
Jesus take the wheel

It was still getting colder when she made it to the shoulder and the car came to a stop
She cried when she saw that baby in the back seat sleepin' like a rock
And for the first time in a long time she bowed her head to pray
She said I'm sorry for the way
I've been livin' my life
I know I've got to change
So from now on tonight

This song lyrics is kinda post modern but very meaningful if you have a mind that is reflective and imaginative. I pray that I can echo the title of this song as I reflect on God's goodness to me. A reminder for all of us to surrender our whole lives and those parts that we still need Him to be 100% Lord of all - "Jesus, take the wheel!"

The song opens dramatically. A woman is driving through bad winter weather. Her baby is secure in the infant seat in the back. It’s Christmas Eve and this young mother is on the way home to visit her parents, tired, low on gas, depressed and driving too fast.

Suddenly she hits a patch of black ice and the car spins out of control. Both her life and the life of her baby flash before her eyes. She panics, throws her hands in the air and in that instant…surrenders to Jesus. “Jesus, take the wheel / Take it from my hands / Cause I can't do this all my own / I'm letting go”.

There’s the message in a couple of lines. I’m letting go. I can’t do it. I can’t live my life (as much as I may think I can) on my own power. Jesus (God) – you drive.

No one wants tragedy to strike. But, in all our lives it is inevitable that we will come face to face with hardship. There are no guarantees. At some point in life you will realize that alone, on your own, as tough and talented as you might be, life will throw a curveball you can’t hit.

In the song the young mother’s car comes to a halt safely, perhaps miraculously, and no harm to her or her baby. She is overcome with tears and the realization that things must change. She is grateful for another chance at life and decides to change. Let go, let God.

We don’t have to wait for a life-threatening wakeup call. But something has to get your attention. And it is not about making a deal with God. If we choose God 100% our responsibility is to give up trying to run our lives (and anyone else’s) and spread that love around.

Perhaps a song will be our wakeup call. Jesus will drive - if you and I let him.

Overcoming Discouragement/Fear - The Jordan

2007-11-02T02:13:00.000Z

We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations

-Charles Swindoll-

Many of us link being discourage or down to a turn of events or a particularly difficult situation. For me, I think in my life, alot of the times I feel this way is when I go through a transitional period of uncertainty.

I have been thinking...really thinking...

I've been having rather good days and times with people. Being loved by those around me. Being driven around. Taken out to dinner. Learning loads at Willow Creek. Making a wicked video with the Teens. Being able to make wedding plans with friends. Enjoying a 4 hour lunch at the pub with my leaders. Buying furniture and doing DIY with E & E (yes, they're back from their honeymoon!) And I think, the main highlight was the mission conference, where my heart totally broke so many times. Great times. Memorable times.

Yet, I found myself discouraged and down.

I've been alright despite having all that uncertainty going on. Nothing major happened..nothing bad. Just the same thing - no progress in the appeal to the Tribunal, no results yet from the Hospital and the builder did nothing to the flat which means I still can't move in.

Was it tiredness? Was I overwhelmed by everything that I became numb? Had I already giving up the battle? Was it just a feeling that will pass?

I was preparing for a talk this week on a film highlighting that our all-powerful God can do amazing miracles and accomplish His purpose on our behalf against all odds. Never give up. Never lose faith.

It is difficult to prepare to share. I had to admit I was feeling the apathy of my soul. Yes, apathy. That was it. I decided I needed more than just inspiration. I needed a piece of banana cake to cheer me up. Going down to the kitchen was the turning point. The Lo's were having lunch and started talking about their Israel trip. When I think about Israel, the first thing that strikes me is always this picture of the Israelites during Moses & Joshua's time...and I started to get dreamy and interested in the table talk.

The Lo's were talking about also the Middle East situation today were the socio political conditions are rather tense and how crossing the Jordan River from the country of Jordan to Israel is not a “piece of cake”(get the pun??) Careful passport checks and baggage searches can take a big chunk out of the day for a modern Holy Land tour! And, for very different reasons, it was no “piece of cake” when the Israelites crossed the Jordan River under the leadership of Joshua at the end of the 15th Century. The river was at flood stage (Joshua 3:15) and there were no boats and no bridges. Furthermore, they were entering enemy territory opposite Jericho, a major fortress city of the Canaanites. But in spite of the problems, Israel crossed the Jordan River because God had promised them the Land. With a mighty miracle, the waters of the Jordan River were cut off and the people of Israel crossed the Jordan without even getting their sandals wet.

For people in my cell, this will be our journey and my prayer for us - so read on..

Imagine that God has painted the entire 40 year journey from Egypt to the Promised Land as a huge mural, which we may examine to learn valuable truth and lessons for our lives today. Think of the pictures...what do you see?

This mural in my head recounts a most significant crossing for the nation of Israel, a physical crossing that had deep spiritual implications for them. In fact, the word "cross" occurs twenty-two times in chapters 3 and 4 of Joshua (yes, I counted just for fun!) Forty years earlier, Israel had left Egypt only to wander in the wilderness for a generation. Now at last, the nation was about to cross over from the wilderness to a land flowing with milk and honey, the gift that had been promised to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. To accomplish this, the entire nation had to cross from one side of the Jordan to the other, a task of immense proportions.

This was the climax of this saga to me :

River Jordan lay at the very entrance into Canaan, the Promised Land. Does a seemingly insurmountable problem, a great obstruction confront us, standing between us and the promised success in ministry, between us and the promised healing and deliverance: between us and the promised provision, progress or promotion; between us and the promised recovery of a spiritual loss; between us and the promised victory and triumph over trials?

Here's what this MURAL tells me : Shut up and Listen. Look up and Believe. Jordan is not an impassable obstacle when the God of miracles is on the side of Israel. We can be certain that there is a passage through the most formidable obstacle and you will soon go forward into the promised blessing.

At this point Joshua himself probably did not specifically know what God was going to do, except that he believed God would make it possible for them to cross the river. His faith overruled his fears and his faith was contagious.

Supernatural breakthrough! Exploits! Passing through the impassable! Accomplishing the impassable! All these are possible in our life and ministry, but there is a necessary preparation.

The book of Numbers and Joshua is both instructive and encouraging. God had promised, yes; He had given the land of promise to the children of Israel but Jordan (which even overflowed all its banks) stood between them and their inheritance! Very often, between God’s promise and our possession of it may lie a great problem. Though Israel was faced with a most formidable obstacle, there was no ground for fear or discouragement. The same God who divided the Red Sea is able, willing and ready to divide river Jordan. His methods may change, but His power remains the same.

But instead of making an immediate crossing, there is a three-day wait, and then a call for consecration. Joshua commands the people, "Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the LORD will do amazing things among you". What was changing had to happen on a heart level. It's not just ritual. It's heart. They had to put their attention on God. They had to draw close. They had to pay attention. They had to be available. They had to be ready, because God was coming to do something. And getting ready for God is NOT a casual thing.

Then, Joshua instructs the people to watch the ark, to see where it goes, and to follow it. "Then you will know which way to go, since you have never been this way before" (Joshua 3:3). Now the ark probably only moved a few hundred feet from where it had been located during the brief encampment, but the people were to follow it.

Ever since the people had been given the ark and tabernacle in the wilderness, when the cloud lifted and moved forward, that was the signal for the people to pack up and follow, to go where God was leading. Today the ark -- the symbol of the throne of God -- indicated where they were to go. Notice the sense of awe and holiness about the ark: "Keep a distance of about a thousand yards between you and the ark; do not go near it" (3:4).

The obvious lesson for us is that we are to see what God is doing and then follow him in it. This was Jesus' practice, too. Too often, like little children on a walk, we run on ahead. Instead of being followers of our Father, we want to be leaders. Not so, Jesus. Before taking important steps, He spent the night in prayer. He often retreated from the crowds to spend time with his Father and pray and get his bearings.

Right now in my own life, the question I believe I am being asked is "are you following him or off on your own?" The lesson of the ark going ahead of us is a reminder to come back from our wanderings and to take our appointed place -- following God.

I think alot of us find ourselves like Joshua, where we need to overcome discouragement and fear. It was a very common thing in Joshua's life. Hence we find God constantly saying to Joshua, "Do not be afraid. Be strong and courageous for I am with you" God even told Joshua, I will hand your enemies to you!

Sometimes we feel we are faced with a river and a barrier of impossibility just like what the Israelites encountered that keeps us from making progress, a place of helplessness as we see that big chunk obstacle in between us and our promise land. We don’t see any way through the situation that we face. Yet, the place of helplessness can become the place of hopefulness if we learn to stand still and wait upon God.

God brings each of us to points in our lives where He might teach us how we can deal with our impossible barriers, whatever they may be. In Joshua 1, we read that God says, "Get ready to cross this Jordan". In a sense, God is saying, your extremity is My opportunity to do the impossible in your life.

Rivers and barriers stand before us as Satan’s method of depressing and defeating us. The devil’s main motivation is to turn Christians away from God’s plan for their lives. The devil wants us to experience fear and be defeated. God wants us to experience victory by trusting in Him.

As our cell prepares for our weekend away, I believe it is very much like crossing the Jordan - to step into the river and cross. Why? Because we will then be able to see that it takes to release the power of God in our lives. Joshua 3 shows us how God came through for Joshua and it is my prayer that we will experience God coming through for us at all times too, even when we feel down or overwhelmed.

What God wanted to do was to display His POWER to the people of Joshua. Here's what he says in Joshua Chapter 3, verse 7: "Today I will begin to exalt you in the eyes of all Israel, so that they may know that I am with you as I was with Moses. Tell the priests who carry the ark of the covenant, when you reach the edge of the Jordan's waters, go and stand in the river."

This is the word of the Lord to Joshua. Joshua's hearing this and God tells him, "I want you to cross over this river, I want you to possess this land. But before you do, you need to take a step of faith, you need to take a step of obedience to me. And when you do, I will display my power so mightily, that you'll know once you get into the land that I am giving that to you as well, so that when you come up against the Cananites and the Hitites and the Jebusites, and all the other "-ites," I will be there with you to fight for you and to be your defender, and I will help you possess the land. I want you to know that I am with you."

So this is what He tells Joshua to do: take your priests and all the people and go stand in the river. He didn't wait till the river parted like he did with Moses, he said, "I want you to go and stand in the river. When you do, the river will back up, all the people will be able to cross on dry ground, you'll get across, and when you're done crossing, the river will flow again. This will be a demonstration of my power to you."

At the end of this, I believe God is encouraging Joshua and us alike not to to be discouraged or overwhelmed because He will help us possess the land, and demonstrate His power through us.

So, I'm continuing this on our private cell blogsite.. but for everyone else, I hope after reading this chunk from Joshua 3, whatever you are going through and however God is challenging you in your faith, your dreams and your passions - your baby step would be for you to say "I am going to do it. I’m going to step out, I’m going to step into the Jordan even though it is at flood stage. And I’m just going to stand up, I’m going to see the water and I’m going to take a step and walk into the river and see what happens."

I've always been impressed by the fact that the water didn't stop until the priests' feet touched it. Sometimes, God's miracles take place ahead of us. The Red Sea was parted and then the people of Israel went through. But sometimes, God waits for us to take steps of faith before the miracle begins.

Jesus encountered some lepers along the border between Galilee and Samaria. "Jesus, Master," they called in a loud voice, "have pity on us!" Jesus' reply is interesting: "Go, show yourselves to the priests," he tells them. "And as they went," the scripture records, "they were cleansed".If they had waited to be cleansed before starting their journey, if the priests had waited for the waters to stop before taking the next step, they would all be waiting still.

Sometimes, we have to do all we know to do, and then God does what only he can do. Perhaps you're in that kind of place right now. You feel God is leading you to take a step that will make you look foolish, vulnerable, and you are afraid to take it. Now you know what Joshua felt like. But he did what God told him to do, and announced what God had promised to do, and God came through for him.

We like to see it before we believe it. But faith believes before it sees. "We walk by faith, not by sight", not because this is our way, but because it is His way.

Our private cell blogsite is exclusive as alot of personal sharing goes on it. Sorry. However, if you'd like to know how I painted this mural of Egypt to Canaan and the significance of the crossing of the Jordan, email me!

In conclusion, very simply :

INWARD PREPARATION --LOOKING INWARDLY CONSECRATING OURSELVES TO GOD
OUTWARD PREPARATION --TAKING THE STEP OF FAITH INTO THE WATER

Pursue God
Pursue Holiness
Pursue Faith

In this preparation leading up to our weekend away, I believe as a cell we need to rise early, reflect and fix our eyes on the "ark", and consecrate ourselves to be ready before we progress and before we go on to great exploits. This is the preparation for supernatural spiritual breakthrough.

And these are the questions we need to answer at the end of it,

Are you inwardly and outwardly prepared to take a step of faith from a life of bondage to a life of blessing. If not, why not?
Do you really want to get to the other side or are you comfortable on the present side of your Jordan?
Have you gone through your Jordan and need to be reminded to set up your stones of remembrance so that when people ask, what do these mean? you can share with them their spiritual significance in your life as well.

This will be a demonstration of MY power to you!!

2007-10-16T02:15:00.000+01:00

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void"
~Kathleen Kelly~

Autumn leaves surround the pavement we walk on each day, and the withering sight of trees clearly suggests that we may well see the end of our Indian Summer this week.

But I love Autumn...or rather I love the colours of Autumn. I love the fall because it makes me wanna take more walks to the park, or stroll along the river banks and even the occasional morning run. At times, when there's that windy breeze or the ever so predictable splatter of rain, I see myself skipping over puddles and trying to overpower the strong winds with my not so sturdy trench coat! Yes, autumn has its charms on me. It gives me a certain hope. It is like a breath of fresh air in life.

After all the frenzy of the week, the weekend that just passed was my breath of fresh air. I spent a very productive Saturday in this big house on my own chilling out, doing my devotions, enjoying the garden, reading and preparing for my talks. I even cooked and baked! That was so fun. See, sometimes you can have so much fun with your own self!! :) It was good. I spent a long time I realise thinking of how to talk to 11-13 year olds about the reasons for church and the part they play in the church. And just as some people have their most inspirational and creative moments while their soaking in their bath tubs, I get mine when I'm usually in my most relax moods of cooking and watching a game of sport or a movie!

I felt really enriched. God really used the things I love doing to show me something about who I am. I feel so blessed to know and believe that He is ABLE to do exceedingly abundantly more than I can ever think or imagine. Nice simple life when you know God is the one who gives you everything you need. Life is simple. It just isn't easy.

We all wonder about life, and how things have turned out or how things could have turned out. As I follow the Rugby World Cup, I catch certain valuable lessons about vigour, risks in choices made, tenacity, family, and the strength of what is in one's heart that make me pause to ask this very question "am I brave enough like the Lions?, am I as passionate about what I love even in such a marginal defeat like the All Blacks, am I as tenacious right to the end like the Los Pumas? All these 3 teams did not quite have things turn out the way the bookies and experts predicted but all these teams had one thing in common, they always had the end in sight - that was always a fact.

In this wondering, sometimes we lose sight of what is the end. And if our end is clear, the wondering can turn into living life the best we can, in the way God has chosen - that means being able to surrender to His will - in the line of work we are in, in the people God has put in our lives, in the place where we are and most importantly to be able to surrender our desires. It is the matter of the heart first.

I find that so so tough. And each day where money, status, comfort, sex and power determines the values of our world, I know it is also influencing me subconsciously as I too give alot of attention to these things. How do I know this? Well, today I browsed through my CV, and I wondered how life could have turned out if I did this or that. I started to imagine where I'd be in the corporate ladder, how much I'd earn, where I'd live and being with the guy of my dreams. And hence I think I realise, each day I need to take a baby step in making my heart a place God can dwell and by His spirit, I am able to fight this battle daily, just as I am, the best that I can.

I am starting to read a book entitled Lies That Go Unchallenged by Charles Colson, an author who I value so much for the way he communicates to the cutting edge part of me. I guess its that season for me to pick up on my reading for personal growth rather than for pleasure. It is a book I know I need, as this book examines cultural currents in the light of God's truth. We as people of God need to understand ourselves the repercussion of lies our culture feeds us. I so need that tutelage!

Standing in the need of prayer

2007-10-08T23:45:00.000+01:00

You call it madness, but I call in love
~Don Byas~

Two words that have featured most frequently in my week are CRAZY and LOVE.

I'm serious.

And both have been used in serious and joking pun to me.

I think I must be pretty weird to appreciate the correlation between the two!

This week's been crazy in every sense of the word, and yet a week filled with lessons on love! Ranging from a totally mad schedule of hardly any breathers, lack of sleep to one of the most memorable weddings of a lifetime!

And surrounding that is the famous familiar murmurs of "I am so tired!"

In tiredness, I remember the encouragement God gave me through D this morning when I saw him at the gates at 9am despite having a late nite like the rest of us. The sense of commitment and love to the cause of Jesus Christ, and giving our best to the kids. It moved me and I caught something of D's heart and life. TJ today was special - God spoke to me through the time of reflection through art and words in worship to Him. And the kids really lifted my tired soul through their burst of energy and the delight of their presence. I can't explain it. Maybe the pictures I'll load can! And as we say in TJ " Get FRIED!"

It has been a really pleasant weekend. And I think it is only well deserving to devote a whole entry to the beauty of it all (yes, that's for next time) Many heartwarming moments and overflowing abundance of food.

Good friends who really laugh with you and understand you in dark moments are hard to come by, especially those who can just tell when you're worried or anxious about something eventhough you look okay or sound okay. But the gift of such friends is the gift they have in them in going deeper with you, because they just simply know you.

Its one of those days for me I guess, admittedly - but its good to be able to still find delight in God, and to be able to spend time catching up with 3 very dear people, when the guys all went to play football!! Think thats the thing we do best - catch up and share , and that's the thing the guys do best too -football! A different sort of bonding.

I am reminded of my priorities in life for this season - which I hope is reflected in the way I live my life. And I'm glad I caught a glimpse of it today so much. And I'm glad I caught a glimpse of the hearts of those closest to me, in their understanding and love for me.

So tonight, I'm thankful that it is these little small simple things that touches my heart. That despite how difficult everything may seem, and these dark moments - that I am loved by Him - and this love is expressed through relationships in my life.

Yes, so today was totally cool - pretty chilled out and meaningful!

More challenges lie ahead as you all know. And tomorrow is a biggie. Do keep me in your prayers as I check myself in to the Haemophilia & Haemostasis Centre on Monday morning as the doctors want to ascertain my mystery condition and to do further special tests on my blood deficiency (Well, that's what they said in their letter!) I need to be brave cos for those who know me, I really am terrified of pain and needles!

Faith NOT Reason!! And all of you in 360 say Amen!

So - all that round the clock activity - people call it madness and people say its crazy the adrenalin we run on, but I call it love!! Love for God and love for others, and vice versa as we make a difference in each other's lives!

God is still good

2007-09-28T17:52:00.000+01:00

Yesterday is not ours to recover, but tomorrow is ours to win or lose
~Lyndon Johnson~

I read a page from Jim Elliot's diary today.

It gave me perspective. In chaos. In confusion. That at the end, it is that call to do His will.

Many times this week, all I could focus on was that immense battle I felt I had to fight through the challenges that spring up. I asked the Lord if I still have his favour. And time and time again, He has shown me that favour. But, its still chaotic all I am going through. It is still not all sorted or smooth sailing. Yet, God is still saying I have his favour and that I am His beloved.

The experience has been a lonesome one. Not because people don't care. It is lonesome because I am at this place where God wants me to fully trust Him 100% so that His glory will be revealed.

Jim Elliot had many of these times. I am sure many others are going through these times too. Yet what is it that helps us live each day better? It is a certain hope that God is still good. God is still in control. The question is, do we believe it enough?

I've also discovered the capacity of my heart this week for God and others. It was painful at times. It was difficult. And my heart was tested. For me, it wasn't so much of whether I failed or passed the test. But it was what I learnt in this process of digging deep, or expanding and contracting - in the end, whenever our hearts are not tender or in the place God has central hold, our weakness and rights come forth so easily. It is as if I felt for me, my capacity to love others, to trust God, to give 100% of myself was something that I could use my own limited strength to do or control. It is these times that I see myself projected above God's working in me. I think I can do it. When in reality, I can't. Only God can. And it is that God can and dependence on God that is the basis for everything I can give unto Him and to others. Appreciating that morning session T, M & I had when we talked about the purity of heart. This is it, isn't it - the purity of our hearts is when we stop thinking we can do it all but it is GOD who can do it all, and by His grace enables and empowers us to do things through first shaping who we are.

Yeah, so thanks for those of you who prayed and are continuing to pray for my situation with work, and for my health. It was so precious and sacred the testimony of faith God has given each of us through those desperate cries to Him. As my mom put it, the spiritual family I have here in London was interceding on their knees as I was on the plane back, and I am especially encouraged by my cell group - you guys are my dream team!

Tomorrow, and having that hope for tomorrow is ours to win or lose :) And that is the spirit behind living a victorious life in Christ - knowing God is still good and in control!

I believe God's hand yet again will turn the hearts and minds of the authorities , and also that all will be alright when I check myself into the haemophilia centre as I approach next week's challenges.

Lord, open my eyes to the work of your hand in my life.
In the times I feel defeated and stressed out,
In the times where I fail you in my walk & in my relationship with others,
In the times I doubt you,
In the times I can't handle it anymore,
Lord, open my eyes to the work of your hand.

I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God's grace given to me through His power.
(Ephesians 3v7)

Oceans Will Part
If my heart has grown cold
There Your love will unfold
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
When I’m blind to my way
There Your Spirit will pray
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

Oceans will part nations come
At the whisper of Your call
Hope will rise glory shown
In my life Your will be done

Present suffering may pass
Lord Your mercy will last
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
And my heart will find praise
I’ll delight in Your way
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand
As You open my eyes to the work of Your hand

A nice Thursday..

2007-08-24T00:35:00.000+01:00

I have a simple philosophy: Fill what's empty. Empty what's full. Scratch where it itches.
~Alice Roosevelt Longworth ~

Furniture shopping online is massively painful to the eye! There is just too much to do. It is enough as it is to compare the make, the colour and the size. But after that, then you start surfing the net to compare the prices, and the delivery rates and times. Ouch!

And to add the icing on the cake, after I've done all that - my friend tells me that there is usually a big sale over the bank holiday so chances are I may get a better deal this weekend "in" the shops and online!

But, in a sense, maybe it was good. I usually am not online in the afternoon on Thursdays, as I'm usually in the office but today it was just horrid weather outside, and I decided to stay indoors to do finish off some packing and hunt for furniture before the big move on Tuesday. And the result - I had a good chat with a friend today on msn, and though it wasn't long or extensive content wise, I learnt something crucial. For that, I'm grateful that God is at work at all times in our lives and I have no doubt that everything happens for a reason!

I took a walk this evening, after the bulk of the horrid weather cleared slightly to buy some collapsible plastic boxes. No luck there. Decided to explore some alley ways for the fun of it since I've never done so and I'm moving out of the area in a few days. As I strolled past some small shops, i noticed the shades of people walking past me as I skipped through puddles of water, trying not to dirty my new jeans. I stood outside this meat shop, and my eyes did the rest of the talking. The words of the song "everyday the pass me by, I can see it in their eyes, empty people filled with care, headed who knows where" - this was true of every passerby as I glanced at each one who walked along that meat shop, from young kids to the elderly.

Evangelism and Missions is not a ministry. Far be it from us to think so.

I am convinced that for us to be effective disciples of Christ, we need to actively engage in evangelism and missions in one way or another in our daily lives. God put us where we are to "do his good works" and manifest himself, and God puts peoples in our paths so that He can use us as His key to make a difference in their life.

People have asked me of late, whether I have a heart for the youth here in the UK, and some even asked me if my burden is specifically for the teens ministry. I've often said yes without really thinking. My heart is for this generation yes, and my burden is for the people out of church-the lost. But all in all, what does this ultimately all boil down to - it is all about lives. My heart today as I am reminded must be as close to God's heart for this world. And, I'm going to be bold to say that none of us can limit God, or limit ourselves to any ministry or area of service because it is Him who chooses for us where He wants us not us telling Him only what we want to do.

The next generation ministries is challenging. Most of the time, I don't have a clue what it entails and I feel I lack the depth and the capacity. I've studied abit of the culture, read up and talk to several people. But so what? My focus therefore is not that I need to be an expect in this area but that in all things, to depend on God's grace more and more because I will always lack the capacity and the depth in such a cutting edge society that constantly experience change.

What is expected of us is to simply use what we have for Him - and that usually means, touching lives - not simple serving church.

Its refreshing when we look at the lives of those outside the walls of the church, and see them as God sees them. I believe the church needs to realise the redemptive power of His being (as what my cell and I have discovered in our bible studies) and answer the call of reaching out tho those who need that hope by first allowing and asking God for that personal revival in our lives to take place daily!

I'm thankful that a friend wrote about how Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper really inspired her. I recommend it to everyone to read, and read with your journal and bible by your side. Meditate and allow God to speak to you. The study guide for small groups is EXCELLENT! And, if you're in UK in late March-Early April next year, join me and others as we head to North Wales to hear John Piper and Don Carson!

Oh, I'm back to the hospital tomorrow. Hope they have better news for me....and we can finally solve the mystery!

I won't be blogging for awhile as my family is around for 10 days. And I think its only appropriate that I blog only because of a conviction. Maybe I'll have something to share when I'm back in Singapore..

Drama Continues and my low day..

2007-08-23T01:15:00.000+01:00

My life has a superb cast but I can't figure out the plot.
~Ashleigh Brilliant~

My mystery condition as it is noted, concerns a trauma caused by a chair which developed into a haematoma - and now recorded as an "unusual blood" phenomena condition after the blood tests results came out.

the drama continues....and more blood and more hospital visits for me the last 2 days...I am tempted to engage michael moore to do a documentary on this really...

but do pray that i will take what these doctors say seriously too, and not make light of it. i do feel okay but i know i'm not exactly 100% yet, and I have dizzy spells.

ahh...more rest i know.

Its been a slow few days trying to pick up on work and emails. And i am grateful for the timely texts to remind me to go slow and pace myself. I've also been thinking alot about what foundations are about. So I looked up some info on building structures and processes. I guess am asking God to help me grow in the way I handle the Word of God, and how can I actually build my foundations on the word for my cell and for the ministry I'm involved in. My dream is to see each person loving the word so much, being able to handle it with such authority, and thereafter to teach it and teach others to teach it. I dream to see a culture that is so in love with the Word of God, that ultimately we can say "preach it brother or preach it sister". I guess in my own life I feel the lack of nurturing i this area, and I've also often asked myself how much am I learning with passion. Am I teaching with authority and favour? Am I handling it correctly?

On the other hand, I know I also need to be watchful these days not to quench the work of the spirit in my life. Its so easy for me to not notice God as I try and plan things, and do things with my ability and capacity rather than allow God the room to work within my core - that means each day I walk in total dependence on Him, and zero dependence on what I know and what I can do.

So yesterday I was thinking about this on my ride in the tube. I held back from playing with my DS, and decided to just ask myself some rhetorical questions. What does the Lord require of me?

As I walked into Westminster Chapel for my coffee time with GH, I didn't really feel in the mood to talk or to meet up. I guess I was already there and he was expecting me since he rang me the day before to check if I was still gonna come in for our second coffee time together.

I waited in this room as he was in a meeting, and I saw a verse written on the white board in front of me 2 Tim 2:15. That's all that was on the board. I didn't know what the verse was, so decided to take out my bible and look it up. I sincerely believe this was the answer to the question I was thinking about earlier once I saw those words of 2 Tim 2:15 which states "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth" I re-read it and memorised it on the spot and took it as an encouragement that what I've been feeling about the foundations of the word etc is something I must pursue with vigour and with discipline.

My coffee time with G was as usually very insightful. When R, his wife popped in to say hi, she really challenged me to rethink about the issue of career and calling (it was our topic of the day) See, alot of pastors and full time people have told me, I need to see working for church and what I do in church/ministry etc as my career and flow in it. But what R said was so profound. She said that she never even once saw or thought of it as a career because it can't be. When you serve God, work for church etc, it is a CALLING. That is all it is. Its not another job or career or work. It is a call. There is no goals or targets and no planning. God is the one that steers each step of the way, daily. No such thing as short term and long term goals. You just don't think of it. G was laughing and quite worried I chose the word "career" when I was contemplating and in a time of dialogue with them. I now understand why after reflecting..

G later spoke to me alot about his own journey and the desire of having a holistic ministry approach to our lives and to church. And the time with him, I think I felt like man, there is so much of the bible I need to know and its context. In that short time with him, I was well nurtured and fed. G prayed for me, to be always able to exercise the truth, and preach the truth of Scripture and one thing, that stuck out was that he prayed that God will bring human confirmation to me that the decisions I am about to make will be the one HE so chooses. Like G said to me, you already made up your mind more than you think. Even he could tell where my heart was when we were talking and how God has led me.

Coming out of WC, I was on the way to St James Park when J called, and I decided to pop by Emmanuel Church to catch up with him since I was in the area. Was nice to be in EEC again, my sis church in London. Chatted with him in his office about missions, and how so much is being said and done about missions but engaging personally ourselves and encouraging others to go seems like the tougher thing. People will give to missions. They'll come to mission conferences. But getting a team to go, who will actually commit to go is so tough. In that time with J, he encouraged me so much that I'm in the right place at this season. I needed that encouragement so much because lately alot of people have been telling me to reconsider church wise, job wise, country wise even. I know in my heart there can be so much confusion especially with so many factors to consider with the upcoming changes in my life. And I'm grateful for whatever encouragement I get these days from people who believe in the God who believes in me.

T also has been feeling the same conviction about the way we teach the word in cell and I am glad he rang me yesterday to speak to me about how we do not want to confine ourselves to a list of question on the study material we've been asked to do, but to really teach the word and allow an avenue for our members to grow, learn and ask questions about the God we believe in. Thankful for such a kindred co-leader, whose also one of my dearest friends here in London. Only sad thing abt him is that he's an avid arsenal fan! yucks!

Cant wait for the weekend. Weather is meant to be better...I'm becoming random again

Inspired-Revisited

2007-08-15T22:36:00.000+01:00

"Every experience God gives us, every person he puts in our lives, is the perfect preparation for the future that only he can see."
~Corrie Ten Boom~

Well, before I share about the dramatic week I had, it is apt that I make some comments on certain observations some of you have made and asked me privately.

Yes, the 600 page thick book is a gem and it cost GBP25. It is hardback! And nope, its not too heavy.

And my thoughts on bgr and marriage is not really a secret to people who have seen my journey through this year. Ask M, and you'll know what it has been for us! I kid you not! These are not my ideals but reality, and what I've written down are my own original thoughts (I dare say!) I've shared abt it before with the teens. I've shared abt it before with my accountability group. I've even shared abt it with my sis and my parents! I guess I never blogged abt it before cos it is not something you kinda just share about randomly. It always has to be timing, and whether its something God put on my heart to write abt. So thank you for positively telling me to share more things in my journey on womanhood, relationships and marriage. I will do so as I journey on in my relationships and in my mentoring development if that's something God lays on my heart.

Yeah, its proverbs 31 - u can read all books on womanhood, they all originate from there!

I've only read ONE book on womanhood, the rest are through the counsel and testimonies of those who have help me see the light in a once pretty unhealthy thought process and even messy entanglements i have had. Thank God for these spiritual ladies He has brought into my life and the work of the Spirit in allowing me to reflect, react and respond to God's perspective of making my paths straight in what was swerving deep inside me.

Okay, the other thing - C is a dear friend not someone who has a distaste for men (happy??) C is just a great observer of behaviour - psychologist at heart and really I believe has got it spot on in sharing the cautions of email/chatroom/facebook/friendster relationships. Also, C reminded me to note - just look at the culture today how grown men tend to swerve to younger ladies for a want of something - and young ladies naturally give in and they think its all fun and no harm (because their hormones have not peak to desperate measures!) C even sent me the statistics and the study that was made!! Joy...isn't it great?? I've got really cool friends, don;t i?

I love quotes! And its funny how quotes come to you and you jot it down. I don't hunt for them. So, nope - I can't give you my resources for online quotes cos I don;t use them! Its my own personal collection in my quote journal. So whenever I read a book or I come across a quote, I'll write it my journal based on the season and topic and author. Maybe I shd retail it.

And for the more personal side, I really believe that what God brought and joint together, no one can separate. My parents are totally different people but they share the same passion and values in their core. And how do I know my dad loves my mom?? I see it in the way he prays for her each day without fail. All the other things he does is secondary to the ONE very thing that has made our family such a delight because my dad leads on His knees.

I believe they are both very happy for me now, at my life stage to see me embrace a journey that they've far long desired for me, and that time is never lost (sometimes I felt I've wasted years!) when I truly believe our GOD has perfect timing and His timing is the BEST!

Okay. I think that's all answered!

Well, glad this blog entry has shown so much interest...and it at least lets me know my friends who signed up to receive the blog are still reading. If at any point your mailbox is needing more room, just email me and will take you off. At the end of the day, it really just an avenue to share a journey NOT anything else. And I am privileged to know some of you really are sharing it so closely.

and yes, if you've not heard from emails or speaking to me already, I'll tell u all about my freak accident that landed me in hospital later (aft I have my dinner!). My spirits were exceptional high though and I'm all better now though there is still no actual diagnosis!

Happy Birthday to W in HK, to J in Msia, to K in Norway!

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. She openeth her mouth with wisdom: and in her tongue is the law of kindness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her. Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
~Psalm 31:10, 26, 28, 30~

Inspired..

2007-08-14T13:44:00.000+01:00

One of the greatest moments in anybody's developing experience is when he no longer tries to hide from himself but determines to get acquainted with himself as he really is.
~Norman Vincent Peale~

For your unfailing love is as high as the heavens Your faithfulness reaches to the clouds. (Psalm 57:10)

For the past 4 months, I've been reading The Msg bible edited by Eugene Patterson. I guess initially when I first read some pages of it a few years back, I failed to appreciate or see it as God's word aka "The proper bible". To my own amazement, I've been richly blessed by it these last few months! I recommend it if you're looking for a drop of freshness and perspective in the Word!

This past 2 weeks have been dramatic, in more ways than another (which I will blog abt when the fury of it all has settled in) This 2 weeks have also been inspiring in nature -people, emails, movies, books & conversations. As someone I know would say, its "divine appointments"!

I've been reading a book entitled "Preach the Word", a collection of sermons (talks) by some of the most anointed speakers of the christian pulpit ministry of our current day and age. It is a book I've heard someone talked abt previously, but never really felt it was something I'd pick up (as I prefer listening to sermons then reading them!) and a book that cost quite a bit to purchase. In any case, it was not something I made an effort to look out for when I walk into the bookshop. So, how did a 600 page thick book which I wasn't hunting out for fall into my possession?? I'd say very miraculously! I have 2 signed copies of it given to me by the editor himself sitting on my shelf right now - and all this due to a conversation about emerging churches and postmodernistic myths, my time at KT and a casual chat about law 3 months ago in the verandah of Uncle VM's house in Singapore. Albeit, receiving an email asking me over for coffee and a chat came as a surprise, let alone who it came from and what I got from it :) Indeed, I felt blessed and am in awe of the way God works in bringing people together!

The book - it is a gem for anyone who loves the word of God. Such a wow. I think the question GH asked, which stood out for me was " What makes a good sermon?" and you have the likes of people like David Pawson talk about his style of preaching that have needed to evolve over the years. There is also an entire section on the anointing of God and preaching for a response by preachers like Colin Dye, and following on from that very practical section on nuts and bolts of preparing sermons and connecting with the real world from the wisdom of GH himself, Mike Pivallachi, Jeff Lucas. Of course not forgetting preaching of the unity of the churches and evangelism through the insights of Joel Edwards, John Stott, J John. And overall loads more expositors of our time - very uplifting read!

Movies - Transformers being my favourite so far, I went to see it again( after watching it in Spore already!) Bumped into an old college mate who grabbed the seat next to me "alone". Heck, I was also alone watching it as I was doing a talk on it, so didn't mind but if not, being in a theatre alone can raise one or two eyebrows! We exchanged some casual small talk and then I asked her out for coffee after it ended. Of course, I am sure you can guess we'd be talking about the movie and I think I probably took it too far by going into the impact and relevance of it all in todays world etc. Then she began talking to me about her movie therapy and the previous 7 movies she has seen on her own. So, yeah I wasn't sensitive enough to see her felt need and it just din occur to me she wasn't okay. Pretty bad. I thought, Val, you oblivious nutcase!! What a bad listener you are! Stop thinking of things to do with the movie and the talk you are preparing for the youth service!

She's just been through some womanhood issues and relationship roller coaster. This was the first non romantic/ chick flick she has seen out of the 7 simple because she was looking for something different that day. Her ideal of being that "wife" or that loved person and just developing as a woman was ruined as I found out because of some guy who had been playing her up and down like an emotional wreck and giving false expectation etc - the usual non committal kinda guy type (sorry, shd not stereotype!) I guess, these days maybe some guys just don't take into consideration the way the heart of girls are - that they are delicate. And maybe some guys I know esp are just desperate enough to develop a kind of false intimacy through msn, facebook and email relationships and they like teasing girls and forming friendships take make them feel comfortable, then decide or maybe this girl but just a few months back maybe it was that girl - whoever tends to their sense of inner boyishness of that particular moment in time , then the guy just lets loose without realising some girls are too nice to notice this hidden agenda in them! Like what C said to me recently - man nowadays, you've got grown men dating some young lashes because they take advantage of their years of experience and stories to tell that interests young lashes who have not lived as long and are looking for that sense of maturity as they develop as girls. C is right, girls develop faster so any form of wisdom and insight from older people do interest us and we do enjoy listening and we do think "eh, that person seems to connect and know me?" but is it true? or is it because they have been there at that age before? I really dunno..Let C the expert tell us! But there are some exceptional guys I know too, who would never take advantage and are are watchful of the way they conduct themselves (hardly the teasing flirting type of conversations! there are more proper ways of courting and communication!)

So my poor friend asked me this question,what is it like to be a wife? What kinda wife do you want to be? She directed them as I had guessed to me. So we talked about womanhood, and the way we are made. I personally have learnt through the mistakes i have made as well in my development and security as a woman, and of course through understanding my core first - that being a wife is no joke! But the first step at least for me to ask myself is what I know in my capacity of how God made me can I give to my husband in how God made him. That is the uniqueness. And I know what as God grows me in my capacity is really echoing proverbs 31. That is my daily prayer as the Lord prepares me for marriage.

I thank God I've had this year to re-visit womanhood and to think about and talk openly of girl issues with older women and be brave enough to also equip myself along the way in such things so I can fully better understand the way I am made.

Specifically I shared Proverbs 31 with my friend, and I told her for me the greatest honour is really to be able to release my husband to do whatever God has called him to do, and support him. Because in the first place, the only reason I know why we are in that relationship is because God wants us to be together (no matter what I think even!) And I don't have to worry about any security issues of my relationship with my husband cos what God brings together is His will, and I don't really need to care about my girlie insecurity of how much the guy spends time with me at home, or shower me with anything etc. Guess I've learnt the ultimate security in myself is truly in Christ first, including that of marriage. I dunno how much she agreed with me but this was how I felt. Before, I used to worry so much about what if my boyfriend or husband loves another girl at the same time or has feelings for another person. But the last few months, I've learnt so much about how the security of any relatiosnhip first starts with whether I am secure myself in christ, and in my relationship with my husband, all i need to know is that God wants us be together that;s all the security I need. Its not just ultimately one man giving you security. It is first you being secure.

So hence, my friend said - "you sound like life is so simple for you". She prob doesn't know me, hence she said that. I think my friends won't call me simple. They think I am nuts cos I'm abit weird. When I mentioned that I want to be a wife that is able to understand the person she marries - that means to be able to study and understand the way he functions and works. As in know when to say what and when not to say, and what he needs - with all the pampering etc, I think she was surprised cos she never took me seriously. I guess I never realised the sacredness of our conversation led me to share with her that I truly believe for me personally I'd really want to be a wife to my husband that releases him in who He is to do that which God has called him to do. I don't feel is a sacrifice but an honour that the person God gave me is the very person He is using for his glory (see Prov 31)

Then of course, we talked about chores and all..and when I said yeah cleaning and cooking, think she fell off her chair cos well i'm known to not do such things to my friends at college! They think I'm kinda spoilt and posh. Thank God I've learnt to cook since and even learn to operate a vacumn and make my own bed and do laundry! :) I guess I would enjoy doing it if it was for my husband :) And its kinda cool I think too to be able to have him come home to something nice and comfy!

And I believe that I discovering a man with exceptional qualities suited for me and knowing my core, is a life long process because I believe he will have the qualities of a great husband.
Guess to me the element of doing things together as a family is important. I see that in the lives of the people who have inspired me.

Her final question, "so what is one of things you want your husband to show you he loves you and how will you know he loves you? " Good one...Erm, I told her that I think the one way I know he loves me is to know that he will not neglect talking to be about my growth in God and together, we will both grow and develop in the areas God has called us to. It may be a season for me to just look after the family, and if that is what God has called me to do during that time as my service for Him, I'm more than happy. But yeah, I think I guess for me - my husband must be the one leading the family unit and provide direction, and also in a sense leading me to recognise my areas of weakness, strengths and my intimacy with God won't be compromised. Thats how I know he loves me.

Well, coffee took 3 hours that day!! I was so inspired when I saw how forgiving she was to this guy and how though she was hurting she knew that she needed a way out. She wasn't bitter. She wasn't angry. Not anymore. Just confused about herself and her ideals and life because it all came crumbling down because of this guy. I am inspired to see my dear friend from school telling me at the end, just how amazing God is in making us bump into each other and allowing us to have coffee. And at the end of it, I am thankful my friend allowed me to pray for her. Think to quit her job over this , lose weight , not being able to sleep is serious and I am praying for this guy whoever he is that he wont do it to another girl. She's in my 100k blessing log :) And, I think through this journey, I believe God is working in her and giving her complete inner peace and restoration!

So these 2 divine appointments have really been a highlight and a defining moment in my time life (stole this term from jono!) Been so blessed by just the way God orchestrates things that truly I need to say this with so much conviction that GOD IS IN CONTROL OF EVERYTHING!

More later on my dramatic scary week..

Mighty To Save

2007-08-02T15:37:00.000+01:00

When a stone is dropped into a lake, it quickly disappears from sight BUT its impact leaves behind a series of ripples that broaden and reach across the water. In the same way, the impact of ONE life lived for Christ, will leave behind an influence of good that will reach the lives of many others.

Its been hectic since returning from Singapore. I've had a new role to assimilate into at work and loads of meetings, emails & paperwork to catch up on (oh, and jetlag too!). Sometimes I don't realise how busy I truly am until I list down everything numerically. Yeah, task boards are cool!

I've learnt from my grandpa's passing away that God is the only commodity in my family that matters. In the days after my grandpa's funeral, God gave me a very strong revelation in my life one morning as I prayed for direction. I had alot on my mind about God's calling for me and maybe I was hoping He'd tell me what I should do and what I should not and I pleaded to God to close the doors I wasn't supposed to touch so I won't need to make choices. The principle that God laid down for me in my core was in everything, the only answer I need and the only direction I need about anything I am seeking Him for is "For me to live is Christ, and to die is gain" . So, that has now become the vision for my cell, for my work, for my relationships, for any ministry i'm serving in and for my family. In all things, it is to die because to live is Christ (everything Christ is)

Being in Singapore is always a blessing as I have the privilege of spending alot of time on my own just enjoying the seaview, the familiarity of the coffee shops in siglap and the buses and mrt and the riverside of Raffles Place right down to the Esplanade..Can't believe this verse flagged 3 times. Once on a billboard in a shop, once on my facebook verse of the day and once in my "daily devotionals". So that evening when I walked to East Coast with my mom, I asked her to take a photo of me and the horizon signifying my acknowledgement that God takes care of the big picture, and like the lighthouse, He will guide and provide the next steps.

What I have been up to since touching down on 19July? (abt 2 weeks ago)
Kiss The Streets, is a community project in the W6 London area of Hammersmith & Fulham which our teens took part in the week just passed. We stayed in church all week, enduring the airbeds, the stuffy rooms, the lack of internet & gaming, and pretty "un-filling" food......and I was so proud of them! We truly experienced life living as a community, them kids and us their youth leaders. I was so proud of the girls that they took the initiative to draw up their own shower rota..how organised compared to the boys!

In the mornings, we'll gather for a time of worship, teaching and prayer before separating into our teams for the various projects in the community. My team was the craziest ever, and the smallest too! We were the KTS News & Media team so we got the opportunity of travelling round to the different projects reporting as well as getting our hands dirty right smack in the action of painting, gardening, sports etc.

For 7 whole days, we essentially KISSED THE STREETS of one of the roughest estates in Hammersmith and snuggled into a pretty much abandoned old folks home.

The moment of breakthrough came for me at a time where I was very down and distracted by a series of events that I had to deal with in the midst of the week. God brought me to my knees for a whole hour that night crying out to Him I needed Him so much for strength and wisdom. I found my anchor, that ever unchanging one in the reminder that Christ is in control. With that focus, that very night when I stepped out of my room into the common area to spend time with the teens, divine appointments just loomed in one after another - conversation after conversation of depth with certain individuals. And that night, God gave both W and I so much energy and freshness despite it being past midnight and we both had to work the next day but still able to endure 3-4 hour conversations with different people. That night, it was the time of salvation - 3 of our teens committed their lives to Christ that day and received Him as their personal Saviour and Lord. It took me a while to compose myself when W came to me and told me R also prayed to receive Christ after I told him M and H also just did. I was overwhelmed with joy by the awesome transforming and saving power of our Lord Jesus. There is something about 2ams and 3ams....I slept about 5am!

Throughout the week, God transformed our lives to transform a society that needed to experience His love so much - from young to old. And these 25 teens made a difference! What an exposure they had-to love with acts of kindness...and now to have the teens in church lead the way by committing to serve a particular community project regularly in Brook Green - there will be so much more to come for them...a greater experience and exposure of what it means to love the nations, their community and to reach these broken lives for His kingdom.

Witnessing is not difficult. Its all about having a story to tell. And like these teens, I've learnt that every time we tell our story and hear others story when we're practising in a group how to share journeys, there is so much encouragement in the freshness of our faith. It gives us that fuel as we hear God's work in the lives of those around us and the confidence as we share our own stories. God is THE KEY...then He uses us as His key to change lives!

We exist for this generation!

Jesus, author of salvation - You are Mighty to Save!

Mighty To Save
Everyone needs compassion
Love that’s never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

Shine Your light and let the whole world see
We’re singing
For the glory of the risen King

Global Connections...

2007-06-27T14:02:00.000+01:00

"It is not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing."

eeek...

pow wow...

i'm global...yup, its beyond a doubt!

Yesterday, we hosted UK's Global Connections meeting in church. I've never seen so many "big names" of Christian mission and their leaders under the same roof gathered because of a shared passion, vision and most important because of the same GOD!

I was working in the office, and when I came down to take a breather, I decided to head to the main hall to sneak into the afternoon meeting briefly. As I sat upstairs at the gallery, being as quiet and as invisible as I possibly could, I found myself seated there for the next hour!! The session I caught dealt with exactly what I've been praying about that very morning about the challenges of Christian mission today especially in engaging this postmodern generation. The aspects of rethinking Christian mission, taking into account the awareness of pluralism, dualism, individualism, sectarianism, professionalism were tapped into. My heart started to beat afresh God's heartbeat for this nation, as I looked down and saw a hall packed with people passionate about God's business, and willing to be teachable to re-learn if need be a different approach of Christian mission in our context today.

Contextualisation is one word God put in my heart this week when I was rethinking and planning a strategy for the development of the next generation ministry here in church. I am also in the midst of preparing for a youth discipleship camp, whereby I am inclined rather strongly to radicalise the way we disciple young people - a more caught than taught approach, a more visual and audio approach, and a more experiential approach. As I continued to rethink and reflect when I heard parts of what was being shared yesterday afternoon, I found God speaking to me in the simplest of ways in my weaknesses and fears about exciting mission with relevance and what is really happening around us ( be it economically, politically or socially!) We see many global changes...even in the weather!

It is time also for global changes in church mission and discipleship!!

I left myself with a question : So what? What is the ruthless reality, Val?
For myself, I believe it is to see the situation and how I can engage the mission heart of a mission God.

Journeys are important...and take it one step further, "Remembering Journeys" are what makes a journey precious!

It is my take that we need to be bringers of HOPE, that hope in Christ - hence alot of us believe in building and participating in this community of HOPE - that wherever we go we take the person and compassion of Christ with us. But, it is also my take that I've learnt just recently that we need to be a community of LEARNING (learners) - cos without a community that is willing to be one who learns, we cannot truly be a community of hope to then become a community of ENGAGEMENT..

As Phil Wall posed this question to me yesterday, when was the last time you took a risk? And he put it in the context of NOT physical risk but more risk in investing in the character of people. He was spot on..I've been walking this tight rope lately and learnt much about the cost involved. It has challenged my thinking, perhaps to think critically I feel is a responsibility we all have. Its this thing I call individualism. And the risk I've been taking is to go against this flow that there is no such thing as an individual calling..but that it is a responsibility for us as a COMMUNITY to journey and believe in our people (churchmates, friends, family) enough in what God wants them to do and encourage and walk alongside them in this pursuit. See them thru their dream! No one individual can sustain alone and flow in his calling without the support, prayer and community of encouratement and kindred spirits. God doesn't work like that...and certainly that is not what he modelled!

Lately, as much as I deny it, I know I have been asking God about directions and what to do about things and where should I go...ANd we all know that, there is no fast and quick answers to BIG questions like that. Let me share with you a perspective I caught : Walk through the door you think is right, and trust God to make it right. He will work it through as you go..

Following Jesus definitely involves a great risk. It is a fact!fact!fact! Here's where we need to embrace the theology of Incarnation, or rather the challenge of John 14 and own it.

A principle isn't a principle unless it is put into practice or applied. It merely becomes a good idea! And I guess, therefore the challenge in following Jesus to be prepared for great risks we need to take at times -- we cannot hedge it, it comes with the territory of our walk!

Indeed may everything we do and who we are take root in the Spirit..

Aside from these reflections, it was a GLOBAL day indeed as I met and caught alot from conversations with these faithful followers and workers of His kingdom. And what's more, I met some familiar faces, and two of whom will be coming to join me for the camp in August! Wonderful network amongst mission minded church leaders and visioners of organisations! Networking is precious and partnership is definitely God's order!

I'm excited Lord and I pray you will help us to be faithful to follow through our principles and convictions, not just leave it as a "good idea"

Living life IN the gap!!

Almost into the 2nd half...

2007-06-25T01:45:00.000+01:00

He that can take rest is greater than he that can take cities.
~Benjamin Franklin~

It was another busy weekend, coupled with horrendous unpredictable london weather again..

Ah...isn't it just so normal...Yet again it will be a WET Wimbledon this year...sigh, the lawn tennis championship begins tomorrow and I'm gonna get so mad if it pours the day I go watch Federer play!

Just came back from celebrating E's birthday with the gals - it was classic. Got myself a pair of Birks and a red pair of classic Clark's originals in between shopping for E's pretty funky prez at Octopus! Most memorable part was conversing in French and talking about French guys..ahh..I think some french words really sound like chinese especially if we get the intonation wrong! We spent the last part of the dinner embarrassingly conversing in comical French and deciding on a secret emblem for our care group membership sparked off by E's funky bday prez!

So, I think I will be able to get by pretty okay when I head off to France...at least I've got the most important phrases sorted like " You are beautiful". " I am stuffed" , "Very good", "Chocolate Ice Cream" and "Orange Juice"!

Felt it was really meaningful sharing a meal with the gals from my dcg group, and i'm excited for the months ahead as our group moves to JL's cozy new flat..

Finished "SHAPE" series on Friday. On reflection, really thank God for how He has brought us through the last 7 weeks, seeing different people encountering Him and many deep breakthroughs that have been so evident in these sessions. Last nite was tough for me as I shared on Experiences. It involved a very transparent life sharing, and a spirit of deep brokeness not just from me but from everyone. We've learnt the importance of God's shaping and timing of circumstances in our lives, both painful and joyful - and how all these make us who we are today. I am encouraged to know that God is using our experiences to prepare us for our destiny, that these experiences are just stepping stones in bringing that destiny to fulfilment. Indeed, life can only be understood backwards, but must be lived forwards.

"Val, people are always more encouraged when we share how God's grace has helped in our weaknesses than when we brag about our strengths", a still small voice cried out in my heart. Maybe that was just what was needed..For me to share a specific time and experience in my life openly to them. It was difficult but with much prayer, I took a small step, holding back the emotions(which are still very real) but amazingly see afresh God's hand at work in my life through that. Of course, no doubt I wished I could erase that part of my life. But I also see it has made me the person I am today, emotionally stronger and better to journey alongside others. How can one keep from singing His praise?

Met up with W who was visiting from Bristol as we continue to reflect on our shared journeys especially after last week's retreat. G was also here. So was W from Notts. Oh, and MW too! Guess its all divine appointments, and opportunities to deepened that bond we share in Christ!

Went to Borough market feasting on yummy fresh food there, until I had my train adventure before spending some quality time with my pastor and his family.

Realised last night as good news after good news came in throughout the day, God's been so faithful in the lives of his children who seek and desire Him. And just so timely that today during Equip training, so many leaders shared testimonies of God's hand at work in their lives. I wished even more had the opportunity to share if we had more time! Testimonies do build faith and encourage!

Oh yeah, Merv's amazing job saga is really an item of thanksgiving. So, he's going to be in his desired speciality for the next 8 years (secured training contract) , and being where God wants him - right here in London for this season. When he was sharing with J & CJ over lunch today, I felt a sense of God's favour so real upon his life - the journey of brokeness, trust, faith and promise. When he tells it, somewhat there is this glow that God made it happen. Testimonies do build faith. And indeed, an encouragement to CJ who's doing his medical exams in August that God is always on the throne..

So, its almost July, riding into the 2nd half of the year. Scary! Yet I am reminded today to "Love Life" because we only have one life to live...and the key is in how we choose to live it. For God? For others? For ourselves?

July-Aug is a busy month for me both at work, church and beyond. So...first stop, I'm treating myself to a short time of rest and solitude in the tapestry of beautiful Normandy - Touville, Deaville, Caen, Bayeux and Omaha Beach..pray for me to have a purposeful rest, and time to seek God afresh..

Every now and then go away, have a little relaxation, for when you come back to your work your judgment will be surer. Go some distance away because then the work appears smaller and more of it can be taken in at a glance and a lack of harmony and proportion is more readily seen.
~Leonardo Da Vinci~

Splendid!

2007-06-14T03:01:00.000+01:00

For Thou, O Lord, art high above all the earth
Thou art exalted far above all gods

I exalt Thee, I exalt Thee
I exalt Thee, O Lord

The brilliance of God's hand in the past few days is indescribable.

Being back, and feeling rather indifferent, I wasn't that excited about dcg on friday nite nor the busyness I anticipated that was to come on the weekend.

Lazing around the cafe enjoying my crepe on a friday afternoon with M, we decided to cheer ourselves up with milkshakes made with scoops of ice cream. Beep. It was an SMS from T saying he's ill and I need to lead the BS on Rev 2. Part of me knew I needed to as the cell leader, and the other part of me knew I'd much rather not cos that means having to dig deep in scriptures in that last hour and a half before dcg. The responsible part of me won. In the prep, I was studying the letter to the church at Perganum, and found that the true rebuke there was about compromising truth and God's standard from His word. Got me thinking of this tension between love and truth, how we need to strike the balance of that within the ambit of our own dcg and the church at large. Good to hear the group's perspective, and kinda integrating with my group was pivotal that day in hearing God's voice and leading for the weekend.

Had to wake up at 630am on SATURDAY. Beat that eh...It was painful waking up, a real struggle and I really did not believe it was worth getting up this early to go to a small group leaders seminar. Okay, so part of the drawing factor to go was that it was with Willow Creek Church (Bill Hybels). The drive there was pleasant, and I drowned myself with 2 cups of coffee before the session started just to look awake (not stay awake!) I had not much of an expectation for the seminar cos I thought it'll prob be the same kind of principles of leading small groups. I walked in a zombie. I came out glowing like an angel. This was the most insightful small group seminar I've been to, and I wish it lasted for longer. By far, I would say this was one of the best. This guy brought into alignment the realities of the tension faced in small group ministy esp as leaders, and engaged with us as small group leaders not on the principles and how tos(like most leadership trainings do) but on the practicalities of walking that tight rope we all are on. Relational risk taking and its challenges and taking small group out to the streets resonated with me most. Willow Creek got it spot on for me, because what is painted to me was not just ideas and what works for them, but more to what God was saying to me and it engaged in the realities of my own small group, leading it and its outlook to the members. The buzz of it I believe was the dialogue sessions that we got to do. Ended about 4ish and we came back to my place to take a short breather before celebrating T's birthday.

Sunday...I was out in the park running, sweating and playing tag ball with the tjs. Fun right? So get involved with youth work! We're exploring a series entitled Fit for Life, and thought we'd start off our lesson plan with obstacle races and some teamwork games interspersed with teaching. It was well fun!! And I can't believe it did not occur to me to dress appropriately, so I had a formal shirt on (for church service aft tjs) and can u imagine running in that! Church service was short, so alot of time for nurture groups and my time to catch up with my tpf group. For lunch, I thought I'd spend time with some people I've not caught up with in awhile so we decided to head off to Covent Garden for the Malaysian Food Exhibition Week . Rather disappointing variety but nonetheless tasted good, and got ourselves a tan sitting and eating under the sun :) How rare is that for london!

Finally...it was time. The only reason why I flew back to London before the weekend was cos of this : Casting Crowns Live! in London...730 the doors opened and I was there!! I expected the concert to be filled with songs from different albums and just a good time of hearing the band live. Stupid of me! U know, the night was packed with so much more prayer and testimonies and encouragement than songs! That was true worship I felt...and my soul was nourished simply by the mere fact that Jesus Christ loves me so much, and holds my life and everybit of it through the storms and seasons - articulated in the inspired words of the band. They may not have sung all the songs I was hoping they'd would but what they did was simply obey God. Not putting on a show for us but more a ministry to glorify the audience of one. I am so glad I went with a bunch of friends who have shared a journey with me, so it was meaningful to minister to each other and see each other ministered to.

And so I started Monday more relaxed and delightful...Met up with J for a couple of hours to share our lives supplemented by several indulgences of vietnamese and Caribbean cuisine before I headed off to the airport to meet my uncle, aunt and cousins who are visiting from singapore. If you think I am random, go meet them. They decided to come to London on Saturday, bought tickets and here they are on Monday evening!

So, yeah...this past few days I've seen abit more of the touristy side of London.. And they've encouraged me so much, to the extent of bringing me to the London Aquarium as a starter to jolt me back in my love for sea life and the ocean!

.........and I'm going back to work tomorrow - not as fun! But am excited about friday when I set off to a retreat with some of my peers for the weekend!! yay!

Back.

2007-06-07T09:31:00.000+01:00

Oh,what I would do
To have the kind of faith it takes
To climb out of this boat I'm in
Onto the crashing waves
To step out of my comfort zone
Into the realm of the unknown
Where Jesus is,
And he's holding out his hand

But the waves are calling out my name
and they laugh at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The waves they keep on telling me
time and time again
"Boy, you'll never win,
you'll never win."

but the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid!"
and the voice of truth says "this is for my glory"
out of all the voices calling out to me
i will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

Oh, what I would do
to have the kind of strength it takes
To stand before a giant
with just a sling and a stone
Surrounded by the sound
of a thousand warriors
shaking in their armour
Wishing they'd have had the strength to stand

But the giant's calling out
my name and he laughs at me
Reminding me of all the times
I've tried before and failed
The giant keeps on telling me
time and time again
"Boy you'll never win,
you'll never win."

but the stone was just the right size
to put the giant on the ground
and the waves they don't seem so high
from on top of them looking down
i will soar with the wings of eagles
when i stop and listen to the sound of jesus
singing over me

I will listen and believe...

GPRS : London, England

I could not be more indifferent to being back in London last night, though it does seem that it is about time to put an end to my purposeful time back in Singapore the last 4 weeks.

God's grace, is the only thing I believe will keep me and re-align me back to His will for me here. In the midst of the realignment, and feeling homesick - I definitely need accountability, something that I have valued in the last few months with M and am thankful that we're doing that tonight.

But first, I must pay my dues and be faithful to that I have put my hand into...so off to work now (yup, on my first day back too!!)

Though I don't know what to say, that old familiar feeling of knowing God's hand is in my life. Indeed the song that is playing, is indeed that theme song of my life - "Voice of Truth"

Who knows, maybe God will bring a PDA on the tube....and move me into a rhythm of intimacy with Him.

Indescribable!

2007-05-25T17:32:00.000+01:00

Indescribable
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea
Creation's revealing Your majesty
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring
Every creature unique in the song that it sings
All exclaiming

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God

Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable - the title of a wonderful worship song by Chris Tomlin.

25th May 2007 - a day I was anticipating with total excitement for the past one and a half months. Today marks the launch of our adoption of the BESOM project, a community work project that gives us an opportunity to show Christ's love and shine for Jesus with no strings attached.

One and a half months ago, E & C and I were sipping cups of orange juice in my living room in our weekly meetup where all 3 of us felt a deep resonance in bringing our group to a higher and deeper level. Inside me, I knew my heart was restless as I felt God wanted to grow and move our hearts as individuals and as a group for the poor, needy, oppressed and those who desperately need Jesus, a hope! Since coming back from my mission trip, I believed God was showing me with different set of eyes the broken world right out here in the city of London. It was like each passing individual on the street, somehow makes me pause and ask a question if they know God, or if they have a need. I shared with E & C too as I felt that it was the "hot" time to share since we've just finished the entire month of March as a social concern month, and with Tearfund recently just at our church.

and you know...E & C are brilliant! They echoed my heart, and felt the exact same way! And you know, the more brilliant thing is that we seem to all compliment each other in so many ways as we lead the DCG together, thats why it has been so super fun!

I had already been exploring avenues with J whom had a great passion for this. So, BESOM was a project that J gave us and took over all the contacting and networking. After reading the proposal and the areas we could get involved, we unitedly felt in our spirit that our group could definitely benefit through this avenue. So...there we went....and decided to do it for end May so we had at least 1 month of time to tell people and share with the group..

BESOM has given us a target community in Hammersmith, and of course as with all things we want to start small. So today, the group is going to show love in various forms to one particular family on top of other odd jobs in the area like reconstruction of warehoues, gardening and painting. I;m excited for them as they go with God and with the mindset that everything about them, their actions, words and attitude is on show to this family. And as E rightly said, May we make Jesus and His church look great and give them a renewed hope!

The sunday prayer walks around Hammersmith truly captured a deep sense of passion and compassion to open our eyes, our physical and spiritual eyes to the call to be that light for him where we are, furthermore - communicating christ in london is our church's call isn't it? I was deeply encouraged to see those who were young in their faith come, and encouraged to know they prayed for the teens that ONE sunday ( now, thats another story!) In God's divine timing, before our very eyes we see how God has given us the wisdom in our decisions and responses to the kairos moments. Indescribable.

Incidentally, we have been putting a hold on our study on Revelation and felt a strong need to instead do SHAPE after Easter to integrate people within church and to discover their spiritual gifts, potential for the Kingdom. Thru these sessions, we saw the openness in sharing and learning, growing together. Realising just how important it was for us to see us as God sees us, and believing that we have kingdom purpose to fulfil, and not necessarily just in church but outside church. God touched us with a great bang after every session where we see many lives including my own just being ministered to in prayer and worship by the Spirit, fellow leaders and cell mates. It was like a fresh anointing that was impacting our lives, bringing us to wet eyes, bent knees and brokenness. Indescribable.

The sermons on sundays have been encouraging us to develop our prayer lives, both privately and corporately these past few weeks - fantastic anointed preaching, and what a true example of leadership when Pastor challenges us to pray on our knees as a congregation! There was something different - a deep sense of God, and refreshment. In response to what has been preached over the pulpit, our DCG spent an entire Friday night informing ourselves of things we can pray for in the world, reading in scripture and building our understanding of the God we are praying to, and inviting the Holy Spirit to inspire and help us to pray even gearing up to the Community Project - to truly experience PDA lifestyle and to walk in it! The strong sense of unity was indescribable...and people felt they could continue all night in that attitude and posture - standing in the gap! God showed me that prayer can move communities, and pray definitely brings the people of God closer in a bond that is so precious!

As I reflect on how God was taking us step by step as a group, I am awestruck by the wonder of the process he has been taking us through. The outpouring unto us in our inward lives, and preparing us through all different means, even to the extend of changing our entire cell programme for this term has been a significant journey of faith and obedience with the Master. These past month and a half has been phenomenal in experiencing just how big God is, and His power.

Well...guess I can sulk and see it as a miss opportunity for me not being able to do it with them. Nonetheless, I am excited for them and encouraged to see how much prayer, and personal prep has gone into this! Indescribable.

Ah, 25 May 2007....is here!

On a side note, my spiritual dad sent me an amazing reflection after Jackie Pullinger shared at his church. Great timing, and was what i call a gem of a moment.

His closing words from his reflections were exactly what I have been meditating on in my quiet time about God, as an Incarnate Being. Wow.

I am not at liberty to share his reflections as I haven't asked his permission but I believe you will be just as blessed listening to Jackie Pullinger as all of us have been at http://fcbc.org.sg/faith_sermons.asp and also the seminar video streaming of her ministering to the poor conference sessions at http://www.fcbc.org.sg/service_news.asp?newsID=190

May we all know God's call to serve those who are needy and oppressed...and know His heart for them!

Intended for good!

2007-05-19T07:53:00.000+01:00

And we KNOW that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
(Romans 8 v 28)

A verse that I have been holding on to, and meditating on for a few weeks now. I guess I was wondering why Paul actually said that, and how He could trust in the BIGNESS of God. How could he do what he did, with that he had , where he was and believed God with that total dependance 24/7 for breakthroughs?

Looking at his life, one could probably understand the depth of these words, but me - I found it hard initially to practically internalise and externalise the fullness of such words into my own life. As I knocked and knocked my way through the little passage ways of the situations I was in, it became even more difficult as this verse kept cropping up - Val, all things work out for the good of those who love Him. My friends quoted that same verse to me. My pastor preached on it. My quiet time constantly interjected that verse.

It became an anomoly to be that this verse became more apart of my life than anything else. On the tube, as I was walking, in meetings, while working, before I slept - this is all I thought about. No commentaries could even quenched the inquisite anomloy of my mind, or was it my heart?

Weirdo...

No, super weirdo :)

I soon realised it wasn't something I could learn through reading, surfing, studying commentaries but something I needed to experience and see for myself the power of God. Okay, so I did not know this until God overwhelmed me with his presence, and tells me one time after another - that is about that direct insight and intimacy from Him, the revealed One.

This is what sparked it off :

I spent alot of time talking to a friend who was going through a very tough time, listening and trying to see God in it. But as she reminded me, its so hard to believe that what she is going through is God's will. Journeying with someone is the easy part but its the process of having to glean perspectives and pointing the person back to God continuously that needs so much wisdom and prayer. I know Scriptures help but its making sense of it that moment in a person's life that really counts. She admits she repeats Romans 8 v 28 to herslef hanging on to it but its not enough to help her get through the day without feeling any better as much as she'd like to. She doesn't have any appetite and doesn't want to socialise much, just staying indoors and sinking into a melancholy of thoughts.

I felt helpless cos I know exactly what she means. I went through that too not too long ago. And I don't really know how step by step to guide her through..

In the midst of this, I believe God allowed many circumstances and situations into my life too, with my grandpa in critical condition in ICU being the most difficult of them all.

Yet, God decided to teach me a deep truth and lesson in my inner life....so that i can grasp perhaps this mystery the bible talks about of God's way, God's work in us of knowing Him in Paul's letters.

G wrote a song in this time I felt was so apt, that ministered to me that night just when my dad rang me to take the first flight back home when my granpa's condition deteriorated so badly. For the first time that night, I felt lost in translation. I didn't know how or why I was slumping into a low. I didn't feel any emotion just unable to mouth any words even to God.
And this song entitled "Remind Jesus" I believe was written so timely and just for me. G, if you are reading this, I am rather convinced that God gave you that song for me.

Remind Me Jesus

Everytime I feel so far away
When I'm simply whiling off my days
You've never stopped persuing me
While You simply let me be

Till the day I finally realise
Once again how much Your love is like
And I'm back here in this place again
In the prescence of the Lamb

Lord I know I'm not exactly fully back to where I'm used to be
All I ask is Jesus You will come and help me once again to see

Your grace and mercy overflows
Your love unfailing
On the cross You gave it all Lord
All for love You bore the pain and shame Lord
When circumstances bring me down
Remind me Jesus
That it's not for who I am Lord
But for who You are and what You've done Lord

As I was killing time in the KF lounge waiting for my flight the following day, this song kept replaying itself in my head with Romans 8 v 28. I guess with a glass of red wine, one can possibly be more composed :) hehe..I did feel led to just take out my bible quickly to read Romans 8 v 28 because as the words of the song ministered to me I was more than convicted that all things work for the good of those who love Him, and I felt God leading me to something more than just that verse...there was something not quite complete to those words ( okay, am not seeking to say that v28 is incomplete in a sense someone took something out of the bible!). As opened up Romans 8, let me share with you what I learnt:

1. Paul focus of his closing climax in Romans 8 is the security of God's people, on account ot the unchangeability of God's purpose and steadfastness of his love.

2. The certainty of God's provisional care to us. See, I didn't note the contrast before. But reading v 26, and then contrasting it with v28, there was a signifant difference. In v26, talking about prayer, it says that we DO NOT KNOW what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us in words we cannot express(NB: The secret things belong unto the Lord as in Deuteronomy) But contrast that v28, and we KNOW that all things work out for the good of those who love Him.

3. The extent of God's care - "all".The circumstances of the Christian’s life are ordained of God. There is no such thing as chance. Love refuses to believe that God is not interested in every detail of life. Everything is permitted and designed by Him for wise purposes. He will not cease His supervision for a moment.

4. The whys is found in v29 -30, which gives v28 its completeness. The ultimate end is that process, and journey that we are BEING conformed to the image of his Son

5. It's possible to have a "GOOD" for bad experiences, difficult times and circumstaces. Every adverse experience when rightly received can carry its quota of good. Bodily – pain and weakness cause us to feel our frailty. Perplexity reveals our lack of wisdom. Financial and failure humble our pride. All these things can be included in the term good.

6. God is not in the business of satisfying childish, foolish, self-destructive appetites, he is in the business of shaping you to be the person he made you to be – in the likeness of his Son.

7. In our own perspective and our own eyes, we cannot see the good God is doing in our lives because we forget WHO is the one that determines the good and bad in our lives. Reminded of the stories of my hero Jim Elliot, where sometimes a wider perspective reveals God's good purposes. My favourite sunday sch bible story of Joseph's life is another example. God intended it all for good!

8. A personal rebuke to me is that I don't trust God that he knows what He is doing because it is painful.

9. We see God's bigness in all of these words, but there is a part where v28 is limited. Its limited in that its only to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.

10. He chose us. He called us. He pre-destined us. He justified us. He glorified us. v 30 ends with God's saving purpose and He is working in accordance with it.

The flight back to Singapore was unforgettable that day, as I learnt a deep lesson in life where God was preparing also for this period of time back home with my family, unplanned but definitely for a purpose! When I met my mom at Changi Airport as we jumped on the plane to KL, I believed God had already prepared me in my spirit to see my granpa in ICU, knowing that He is in control. It was a difficult visit, and I could not bear seeing him the way he was. I was greatly affected. The reality is such. But the other reality is that, I can trust God that with a renewed understanding and assurance!

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 1 v 6)

In The Light

2007-05-01T00:28:00.000+01:00

At Easter Camp this year as God was leading me in my preparations for the Easter Meditation, one thing that impacted me was the power of light and darkness, and relating it to our own lives. Felt very strongly that we could do a choreography to the song by DC talk of "In the LIght", something that has been developed and which I learnt while on my mission trip.

Was blessed to have Merv, Enq, Charis and Si so willing to do this, and learn it at about 1am in the morning , the last nite of easter camp where most people would be out hanging around playing games or chatting. I really appreciated their support, and their love and truly the shared convictions when I shared my heart with them. I believed God knew that they were the right people too to play the roles, as they could identify with the message. This wasn't just another thing. It was an act of worship to God. Asking them about how they felt about it is a testimony in itself for each one. That night, I saw a spirit of excellence for God, and I discovered the joys of serving with kindred spirits. Imagine experiencing God's joy at 2am in the morning after a long long tiring day....what a WOW!

It impacted more lives than I could imagine when this choreography was first done at Easter Camp, on the last session - the climax. Alot were ministered to deeply, and what's more - the choreography and lyrics spoke for itself.

Yesterday, we did it a the church service. I remember praying with them before that, and as we sat in the room, the first thing was not to practise and practise. But, their hearts was first on God and on their own personal convictions. I remember Si and Merv both said that what makes it out there is really truly being able to meditate and know this whole battle of Satan and God for our lives. I sat down with them, all of us listening and meditating prayerfully and carefully on the lyrics of the song - what impacted me then was my own life, and I realised also my own need for the Saviour.

Watch for yourself , and see their expressions - it was truly an act of personal worship. They put their whole sense into the characters....Why?? because we all realise we are in need of this Savior at those times we may have fallen or taken stock of being the king of our own lives!

May you be blessed too!

This also marked the starting point of CCiL's Creative Ministries....Thanks be to God!

Tenderness, do u know it?

2007-04-26T23:14:00.000+01:00

God has the most tender heart...

Came across a testimony of that again today..

A story that touched my heart...

April 20th 2005
At the airport in Knoxville

Waiting to board the plane: I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I’d had a marvelous morning with the Lord.

I say that because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you.

You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise. Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousands reasons, not the least of which is your ego.

I tried to keep from staring, but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier. His knees protruded from his trousers and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long. Clean, but strangely out of place on an old man.

I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I’d just had a Howard Hughes sighting.

Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport, …an impersonator maybe?

Was a camera on us somewhere?

There I sat trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let’s admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man.

I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I’ve learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind.

“Oh no, God please no.” I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, “Don’t make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I’ll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don’t make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!”…

There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, “Please don’t make me witness to this man. Not now. I’ll do it on the plane.”

Then I heard it…”I don’t want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair.”

The words were so clear, my heart leapt into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No brainer. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, “God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I’m on this Lord. I’m your girl! You’ve never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am on him. I am going to witness to this man.”

Again as clearly as I’ve ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. “That is not what I said, Beth. I don’t want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair.”

I looked up at God and quipped, “I don’t have a hairbrush. It’s in my suitcase on the plane. How am I supposed to brush his hair without a hairbrush?”…

God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God’s Word: “I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works.” (2 Timothy 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story, my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies.

I knelt down in front of the man and asked as demurely as possible, “Sir, may I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?”

He looked back at me and said, “What did you say?”

“May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?” To which he responded in volume ten, “Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you’re going to have to talk louder than that.” At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out, “SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?”

At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Longlocks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face and say, “If you really want to.”

Are you kidding? Of course I didn’t want to. But God didn’t seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, “Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don’t have hairbrush.”

“I have one in my bag, “ he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair and got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger’s old carry-on, hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man’s hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don’t do many things well, but I must admit I’ve had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls.

Like I’d done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull. A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man’s hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me.

I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair.

I know this sounds so strange, but I’ve never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, that I – for that few minutes – felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure that I knew they had to be God’s.

His hair was finally as soft as an infant’s. I slipped the brush back in the bag, went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees, and said, “Sir, do you know my Jesus?”

He said, “Yes, I do.” Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, “I’ve known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn’t marry me until I got to know the Savior.” He said, “You see, the problem is, I haven’t seen my bride in months. I’ve had open-heart surgery and she’s been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself, what a mess I must be for my bride.”

Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we’re completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment and I’ll never forget it. Our time came to board and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I’d acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft.

I still had a few minutes and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, “That old man’s sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?”

I said, “Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!” And we got to share. I learned something about God that day. He knows if you’re exhausted because you’re hungry, you’re serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on, but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you’re hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you’re sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need!

I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one I had missed along the way…all because I didn’t want people to think I was strange. God didn’t send me to that old man, He sent that old man to me.

John 1:14, “The Word became flesh and made His dwelling among us. We have seen His glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.”

By: Beth Moore

“Life shouldn’t be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting…”Wow! What a ride! Thank You Lord!” - Author unknown

A personal reflection

2007-03-23T03:45:00.000Z

Before I go off, I thought I'd just share something about this week's reflections...

Friday, 23 March @ 0330 hrs

I used to have a good friend where I'd share deep things with, be it about spiritual things, dreams and passions or just about life. And the word "tender heart" comes to mind often where despite the times we may both feel rather calloused, there is this reminder of our inner core. An inner core that spells- always a place for God. God put the words "tender heart" in my spirit this week as I was resting, recovering from gastric flu. I did a word study on the word "tender" and "heart" and then "tender heart". Reading the context and passages that it was used, it was a WOW for me as the Lord spoke to me through every single scripture I read. The one that impacted me most was from 2 Chronicles 34:27 "Because your heart was tender, and you humbled yourself before God when you heard His words…and wept before Me, I also have heard you,” says the Lord". Why?

I read the context. It was about King Josiah, when he was still a little boy of 8 when he received his tenure as King. Reading the progression from then on how he kept his heart tender for God. He knew his Lord and therefore able to listen to Him and respond in brokenness and obedience to His rebuke. God continued filling Josiah with His grace all the time, and there was always this covenant of renewal.

I was praying for a heart that listens, a heart that is humble, a heart that forgives, a heart that weeps and a heart that obeys after I read this particular passage and especially this verse.

I am seeking God about a pertinent issues of this season. Things I cannot make sense of, and things that may require me to take first baby steps. Part of the reason why I'm going away is also to be able to spend time with the Lord because I believe He is a Covenant Keeping God who will reveal me to His will. The very core of my being is now being placed at a point where the desires, deliberations and decisions all interplay at once. Someone once said that our core is the place of the conscious and decisive spiritual activity. To me, I think the core reflects the most authentic part of a person.

Just looking at Josiah's life, tender hearts are also courageous. I look at myself, and I ask if I am courageous or bold enough....am I prepared to cordon of the "what ifs" or just move on in faith in something rather unconventional and leave the "what ifs" to the subconcsious, to people who don't get me and let God settle it. So unchartered territories as it is, I guess this time away would be a good to be have scheduled longer moments with the Lord.

I am encouraged to know the Lord is watching over me. And He knows what I am thinking about. And am glad He put the words "tender heart" into my spirit and the treasured memory of a friendship that is dear to my heart. With that, He spoke to me about what I lost sight of, my inner core - me for who I am when all else is removed. So God, thank you for being real to me, and helping me see just who You are making me to be

I believe it is a word for all of us, isn't it. That our hearts are tender towards Him. The bible so often talks about the condition of our hearts, and God knows exactly that is truly where it everything happens or doesn't happen!!

I know this reflection has talked me OUT of masking the wrongs in my heart, and especially so in the moments I think I have it all together. May we all truly shed tears before the Almighty...and seek after GOD HIMSELF.

A heart that listens
A heart that is humble

A heart that forgives

A heart that weeps
A heart that obeys

Post What??

2007-03-23T00:50:00.000Z

Post Modernism or Emerging Culture??

Today, I was thrown into a debate on postmodernism and how this person I met before dinner was going on about postmodernism. I wasn't particularly impressed. I guess because I have learnt in all my reading and experience of it, it cannot be an abstract concept. It is not a different method of doing things, neither is it such a big deal especially when one doesn't understand the broken world out there, the real needs out there and what people are saying. Many people can talk about postmodernism yet be living in the modern ( if you know what I mean). Go back to the basics and ask the question why aren't people coming to church anymore?! Do a set of research or do some profiling and you'll find very interesting results just as I did.

We hear people throwing terms like post modernism alot, even amongst evangelical churches. Churches talk about how they have to be postmodern. So they try to change things and do things differently because they feel they need to be post modern. Its become like another pun. Its sad. We think we understand what postmodernism is. Or at least people who throw these terms generically think they do. And you hear things like we are post modern, so this is postmodernism. Then some go further by saying that it is about relativity no longer absolutes. Some also say that its a world of meta narratives. But is that postmodernism? Is post modernism and postmodernity the same thing?? Think about it :)

I wrote an essay about post modernism. A very basic understanding of it for bible college. Of course alot of it is the exposure from books like A New Kind of Christian and Stanley Grenz writings and I am thankful. But in my last few months of deeper understanding, wider reading and experiential learning, I have grasp that postmodernism does not equate cutting edge ministries. Yes, good to know about postmodernism - but it goes a step further. It is no point understanding the theories and principles behind post modernism and NOT marry it with one of the MOST important elements it needs. And that is the emerging contemporary culture in 21st Century Mission. Churches need to study culture. The study of culture is highly significant as an issue that addresses the relationship amongst Christ, the gospel, the church and the communities. We need to engage with what is OUTSIDE the church doors - to be aware of the social processes and the embroiled shift to globalisation. The basics are necessary before we can begin to understand and talk about postmodern principles and concepts. And one thing I discovered in my time in london is that as Christians, we must also understand the culture that exists INSIDE the church's doors too!! Much of what we understand of historical church practises is simply cultural adaptations, and sometimes there is great big need to open our eyes to de-absolutise many of those practises in order to communicate afresh the gospel/good news to a NEW WORLD.

I can go on about many reasons of why understanding contemporary culture first is so important before we engage into postmodernism as a philisophy or intellectual principle and how it effects us today. Now, as I re-look and re-read books on postmodernism, I see the light!! The pivotal and defining thing about church in today's world is to focus on the kingdom perspective and principle. Cutting edge ministires often are those where takes us beyond our comfort zone. One thing about today's culture is that they are watching the churches to see if they are welcoming to the stranger in their community, and use that a whether they want to identify with Jesus another time. We are also living in an age where there are other appealing spirituality concepts from other sects that sees a shift in the falling away from the institutional Christianity of before. Some call this secularisation. And hence we see in the contemporary culture more people are seriously in search of some smorgasbord form of spirituality or just anythign that connects with them - a natural effect of several world events like the tsunami etc leads people in these direction. So where is the church in all of this??

There is big space in my heart for the rise of the emerging churches, especially those who engage in 21st Century Mission. And the amazing thing is that, we are all discovering what church is as we dialogue and true our experiences. Yes, some modern practises of Christianity may need to be removed and rethought. NOT the faith itself. See, its exciting to not talk so much about postmodernism I have learnt because many of us do not know what post modern Christendom looks like but we're all in a journey in conversation to see the gospel translated and embodied in 21st century mission.

Emerging churches or churches in the emerging culture relies heavily on the New Testament scholarship of NT Wright, Dallas Willard and to a certain extent Brian McLaren in focusing on the life of Jesus, taking a fresh look at the gospel they thought they always knew.

Let me share with you why its close to my heart. Because it is about following the way of Jesus in creating kingdom communities, inspired by the stories of the New Testament and being humbled by our OWN experience. The understanding therefore is to infect others and oneself by the gospel because, what choice does one have but to follow once infected ?? (think analogy) My deep desire is to see kingdom communities being planted and formed everywhere. Emerging churches take into account the emerging cultures. And this is their gospel message, that it is NOT CONFINED to personal salvation. It is SOCIAL TRANSFORMATION arising from the presence and permeation of the reign of Christ in us. No longer satisfied with a reductionist, individualised and privatised message.

Conversations and Creativity. Ask the right questions and yak away stories...

Having said all that, I do think we live in an evolving post modern era and it is pivotal for us to understand the implications of how culture and postmodernism when married together has a significant impact on churches and christendom today.

Unpredictable

2007-03-22T15:53:00.000Z

Unpredictable.

Upside down.

But enforced rest.

At 5am on Sunday morning, I stumbled into the world of this NLV endemic of Gastroenteritis, or better known as "gastric flu". Initially, it started with just vomiting and I thought its probably just something I ate. I didn't feel that sick considering just hours before I was happily cooking, eating and playing the night away. But the vomiting increased in volume for the next half hour to an hour, then causing excruciating pain in my tummy. The pain was very sharp and continuous I almost thought I was going to just faint and drop dead. I started to get out of bed to get water but then my vision was being blurred, and I felt very dizzy. And no one was about . I was all alone. Couldn't even manage to talk, just generally felt very weak. But my sign of hope came when mommy called. I think she was telling me to stop fighting the pain and stop thinking I'll be okay to go to church because the only things I could say to her was, I think I'll feel better. I need to get to church for the Tjs and I was filling in for worship on that day too, on the piano. She told me, you're not going. And then I cant remember what happened. Vaguely remember phone ringing, I answered and opening the door, I think..

Next thing I remember is having my auntie check on me, pressing parts of my tummy and giving me a diagnosis. I was in alot of pain and they were worried I was having a stomach ulcer, until I developed high fever and had symptoms of flu and that my pain was in the same middle spot etc. I lost track of time so I dunno how long I stayed in pain for but my aunt said they got to me at about noon..

So I spent the past few days under observation and resting since Sunday...Returned back home to my flat a day ago. So much for my big plans this week to prepare myself and get all ready for the Mission Trip. Its thursday night, I still feel a little weak. I haven't packed nor done my shopping for the trip, nor have I been able to finish up on "other work" and Camp preparations before I go. My diet has been pretty much bread and congee and water and lots of gaviscon max. Abit worried about the change of climate and the unfamiliar food I'll be getting when I'm there so think I may need to steal some of my housemates clear soup instant noodles since I won't have time to buy any unless the airport will sell some, which I doubt they would.

Enforced rest indeed. I slept alot - guess cos I was feeling so weak from the fluids and salt that I lost, and just feeling nausea and giddy. But it was nice to have family around in a time where I felt so down, helpless and as if I was going to die (with all that pain). Doctors say I need to eat regular meals at regular times, which I must admit - I haven't been doing. The other cause could be stress...subtle stress?? I dunno. Its an experience I would definitely not want to have again, I can't go through all that pain and just throwing up like that. Its never happen to me before. So, as my mom says - eat regular meals at regular times and take your vitamins!! Or it may well develop into a stomach ulcer if I am not careful...seems stomach ulcer is a whole lot worse - especially in the intensity of PAIN.

But thanking God for the time of rest. A time where I got alot of reflection done, of times past and times present and times to come. A time where I appreciate and missed family and friends back home in Singapore and KL. A time where God showed me just how far I have come in learning to surrender and give to Him the things I am weak in, and depend on His strength. A time where I had so much time to pray and chat with Him, where I believed He brought me back to my first love so passionately.

Just when I was all alone and felt so abandoned in that 5am unexpected alarm bell, at a point where I thought if I'd die here in all that pain no one would even know : God cared and He led my mom to call me, led my aunt and uncle in london to call home to wish my grandma happy mothers day where my mom then told them to come look for me. Family...Being with family is always the BEST! I had the best care ever from my family especially just seeing and knowing just how much they were praying for me. And I know my GOD is REAL..

God Rocks!

Coincidence

2007-03-16T05:35:00.000Z

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
~CS Lewis~

Few weeks back after DCG, decided to take the tube back because it was raining. E and H were with me after supper. It was E's first time to DCG, and so we spent more time hanging out. Got on to the crowded train at Leicester Sq via the Piccadilly Line Platform. Shoved in by massive Ladettes who I suspect are also making their way back after a very drunken night out. Was shoved into this tiny corner, where I could not even turn my head round to see where H was, just in case she was sandwiched. H is quite petite. I was commenting to E how we would never see such scenes on the MRT. At 1130pm on Friday nites, no way would you see grown mature adults squashing each other on the train. A minute later, this chinese looking girl wearing a gore tex jacket with a backpack said "yes, it does" and smiled. Considering the fact that I only had 4 quick stops before I arrived at my destination, I didn't quite make long conversation. Just smiled and acknowledged her comment. But, something in my heart (call it a prompting) made me feel as if I should have. She is after all Singaporean (can tell from her accent) and I've just been talking about PDA that night in DCG. So, I started deliberating and stopped my friendly bantering with E who was in front of me. Thought again but still felt weird. Remembered Ps Ed's sharing at IDMF about the lorry driver on the last day and how that talk really impacted me about God's heart and our obedience. So okay, just as I was about to try and open my mouth hoping I could now get a conversation in within 2 minutes, she got off at Rusell Square. Sigh...Lost chance. Missed opportunity. Wah, my heart sank, and felt a sudden annoyance with myself. Kept quiet and didn't say much. And I got off the next stop while H and E continued with their journey home.

That was that. Felt guttered that night. Ended up making the Easter Conference Intro Video for Sunday service. Didn't feel like thinking deeper.

Weather has been brilliant, and today I was kept busy in the office (indoors) for most of the time. Didn't help that just outside my window I could see children playing in the park, some other folk reading on the bench and the younger ones having a game of tennis. Simplicity. Oh, joy. Comforted myself with the fact I was being responsible for my work and followed through the phone calls and projects I needed to sort out this week before my absence. Proud of myself for finally being able to get the colours I want for the church t shirt designs, and for persuading those who were in office today to go for hoodies instead of sweatshirts.

Finally, had some fresh air and was meeting up with JL to do some follow up. Was at Queensway so kinda nice cos food selection is plentiful, n near enough for me from work. She was tired but was so excited to tell me how she scored the highest grade for all her modules that one could possibly attain this term!! Praise God. Amazing testimony. Ate at Kiasu, this singaporean joint - pleased with the authentic food, the soft music and the service. The boss came to talk to me, and I thought I'd make friends with him - never know right?? He gave me some pretty sound advice about my phone and bag being exposed!! haha..JL showed me her big portfolio and designs after dinner when we were sitting around. Not your typical restaurant where they chase you out. Guess, making friends with the boss has it perks! I saw her design and I told myself - what an amazing gift she has and how she can use it for God so well. We talked about social action, and I shared with her also about my mission trip. Dunno how to respond when she asked if she could come since she's on 4 week Easter break considering that I'm going off in a few days. Just at that moment, this old man popped in through the front door wanting to check out the restaurant. He's singaporean!! Two minutes later his family joined him and as our table was quite near the entrance in our little corner, I saw a familiar face next to me : It was that girl on the tube!! That girl I talked about. It was the same gore tex jacket, same way her hair was tied, same manner she stood and same backpack!!

Coincidence.

My heart was beating fast. I was numbed. Should I say something? So embarrassing right? Even weirder now with her parents( I presume), and uncle and another friend there. Then they walked around and talked to the boss, and she stood right next to my seat. The boss came to us and asked the girl what she was doing in London. She said she is doing her Masters at UCL. Okay, something common to start with. Inside, I whispered to myself. Here's your chance...like what she did the other day when she eaves dropped on my conversation on the tube and made a comment. Maybe I should too. I could say, Really? You are studying in UCL? I studied in UCL. ..maybe work from there..

Okay, well I couldn't formulate the words outwardly and sigh, did not say anything. After all, she wasn't having a conversation with me. And it would seem rude.

I honestly thought its just a coincidence she's here. Didn't think divine appointment at all.

As her parents were contemplating whether to sit down for dessert before they rush off to their play ( see I really was eavesdropping!!) she asked the boss who was still within distance of me for the menu. I had 3 menus on my table which the boss gave me to take with me. And I thought for a moment, looked around - his staff were all busy serving customers, should I offer the menu since I have 3 and I doubt the boss would walk all the way up to the counter to get her a menu. He is the boss. Bosses don't do such things right? As I suspected, he tried to get the attention of his workers but couldn't and that's when JL said, you have 3 menus - just give him one lah!

Okay...so I thought again, am I going to want to suffer another nite of being frustrated with myself for not being bold enough?? All this while my PDAs have never been this weird or embarrassing or in front of other people ie the family members and my OWN friend.

Decided just make small talk Val. And as usual, I'm always too late. The thinking too much has led to me losing opportunities and chances. The family decided they won't have time for dessert and they left for their play.

So, I'm guttered again. This time I shared with JL what just went on and how my soul was super uneasy. I told her, that I knew it was a prompting from the Spirit but I just didn't. Why didn't I? I was just as clueless.

Ended up guttered and this time went shopping. It is thursday so its late night shopping. Went to Muji, HMV and Books etc and a bag shop. Almost knocked into the glass door whilst I was walking out if not for JL's distinct scream.

That was that.

Took the tube back, and I decided to change at Holborn instead of Oxford Circus. As I was walking to the Piccadilly line platform going down the escalator, it was her...she was just like a few steps below me on the escalator. I could recognise her backpack!!! And this time she was all ALONE!!

Ok. Coincidence?

Definitely divine appointment. I'm not gonna mess with God and the HS leading 3 times man.

This time, I was pretty obedient. I even had a plan. I knew when she would get off (cos of the last time) and I executed my plan. I prayed this time.

Subtly decided to walk a few paces down so that when we get to the bottom, inevitably would be in-line. Walked to the platform. Saw the sign board. Next train was 5 minutes. That's my time! Cos I would never had the time if the train was there. Russell Square was the stop after Holborn. I was more brave. I think when she saw me and I saw her, with had that few slow motion pro-longed stare. I kinda guessed she would say something. Not the shy type considering she did butt in to make a comment to me on the train about MRT in singapore :P

I didn't do anything. She started talking to me. And I just went along. Small talk was good. But I still had 3 minutes. I shared about God, did John 3:16 the "modern method" quoting The Message and The Street Bible type thing. I did NOT have my Evangecube as I gave it to C on Sat. Wish I did though cos that may impress her :) But its not about impressing the gospel with a cube, the cube is just a tool after all..She said, "thanks for sharing. Its very meaningful. I used to go to church but not anymore." Then the train came. We got on, and she got off within 2 minutes. In that 2 minutes she was busy looking for her keys so we didn have time to follow through the conversation. Glad the seed is sowed though I regret not asking her for her name and her number or giving her mine. These are the days I wished I had a flyer or card on me to give her. I guess I hope we'll have another divine appointment or she'll meet another Christian who will talk to her about God. Man, UCL is flooded with Sporean OCF-ers and the Agape people who do Street E weekly. I hope she bumps into them and gets a tract and reads it!!

As I was walking home, it finally hit me that it was Ps Ed who told me "there is no such thing as coincidences is life. Just as much as I don't believe in luck, I don't believe in coincidences."

Guess its not just with PDAs but with everything that happens in our lives and the people God brings in our paths, even friendships. Nothing is a coincidence! God always knows and has a plan.

I guess at the end of the day, its not about me feeling guttered but me needing to obey even when it seems weird. God was gracious to me. He provided and combated my fear of weirdness, and I got to speak to the girl alone in the end. And I am just grateful to God for allowing me that small span of time to share with her, and hopefully sow a seed of thought in her head to dig deeper.

I feel I need to go get some tracts later, and get my hands on those Evangecubes/rings. Well, tonight has also given me inspiration to finish our church's corporate card thing with info and all, but more attractive and creative. Something like the Hillsong Church one.

Had my fair share of sleep, and I love early hours where I can reflect and do my work in peace and quiet :P heehee..

I believe in Christianity as I believe that the Sun has risen: not only because I see it, but because by it I see everything else.
~CS Lewis~

Simply Beautiful!

2007-03-12T04:00:00.000Z

"To see a world in a grain of sand
And heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour."

-William Blake-

God's ways are mysterious , never meaningless. Simply beautiful.

Raindrops splattering and seeing a child skipping over a puddle, then returning and repeating that process. Simplicity and delight. Cambridge was like that for me - being able to sit by the river banks and feeding the ducks. At times even talking to those white, flat footed cuties. I remember taking joy in collecting breadcrumbs daily from Dave's kitchen when I put it my meal order for the day, and rushing to the river banks at Trinity Hall after classes..Oh, and the little dinky art studio just in the alleyway of Grafton Centre where I'd go just to look at ONE specific painting every week. Simplicity and delight.

What about London? There are plenty of safe havens, seriously. I have several spots. Spots I have not visited for a long time yet spots that bring back defining memories. Walking down the River Thames from London Bridge to Tower Hill or Limehouse, find this nice fruit organic shop next to this Michelin Star French Restaurant. Nooks and corners of brilliant architectural buildings both old and modern. The ambience's of folk guitars in Covent Garden and Waterloo. The Serpentine in South Kensington, Rose Garden at Regents Park and the plain serenity of Hampstead Heath. They all tell a story...a story of life, a story of culture, a story of politics.

But the best story telling place is in the Museums. Not bookstores. But Museums. Generations. History.People. Places. Dressing. Tools. Religion. Animals.

Museums have been a love of mine since a child. My sis especially would READ every single inscription on every display! So be warned if you guys ever come on family holidays with us. We'll spend a bulk of time at Museums. In Germany last March, my parents and I visited museums and churches in different townships because we saw the vast diversity in the way people lived. Pots and pans and costumes for battle though on its own seemed pretty ordinary and plain but studying it deeper it all tells a story - of the days of old. How then and now intercollide. The historical museums of course gives us the specific brief overview of the evolvement of the human race to today's post-modernity in the technological and intellect. But the impact of understanding is so much a lost art if we fail to see the artifacts all tell us a piece of the puzzle of life. Literature and Politics is also very much founded on things we see in the museums, how people fought for freedom and rights of many kinds. We see the intensity of wars. We see the discovery of modern technology. We see how people lived through their times and seasons, of peace and war, of poverty and abundance, of natural disasters and perfect skies, of dreams and ambitions, of decisions and mistakes made...

Ah...how I sometimes I wish I lived in those times...yet I dun really know how I'd survive without air-condition, a pillow and proper shoes! Talk about simplicity eh?

God's ways are mysterious, never meaningless.

With that, I made an active decision to spend my day in simplicity after my morning devotions. Off I went to grab myself an ice cream, walked down towards UCL and Russell Square, when I saw an advert....and decided to check it out..

That was half my Friday gone as I made my first trip to any museum since Germany - there was a anatomy medical exhibition for one day. The human body has always intrigued me. It was magical the first time I observed a brain surgery being done (my secret, thanks to someone who gave me the privilege!) This exhibition was one of the most informative I've been too. Better than the world renowned "Bodyworks" which I went to a few years back. Good way to spend my morning, stipulating my intellect and curiosity! I discovered that God is super in the little details, the joining of blood vessels, the nerves, the shape of organs and how to determine blood clots - and overall just the way He created every single part of our body. This visit to the museum showed me how precious each life is to God, crafted by Him. And, it has inspired me into using what I saw and learnt as one of the theme talks for a youth camp!! Yay..

I made Hainanese Chicken Rice that afternoon too before JL came, and such a delight grinding ginger. I miss cooking so much, especially experimenting new things. Boiled my own healthy veg soup too. Ahh..my first proper cooking meal since the rump steak in February!! Ok, so I should cook more..and not just cook for special occasions :)

Friday morning marked the start of a Simply Beautiful weekend, with kindred spirits and with friends (old and new). Haven't had so much refreshing fun in ages! It'll explain why I slept at 8ish and got up at 3ish (in case you're wondering why I'm blogging at this weird hour!)

Now, its time for me to go meet some people at the airport!

Simplicity and Delight.

Life - as we would want it OR as we are given it?

2007-03-11T03:04:00.000Z

"Life as we would WANT IT....Life as we are GIVEN IT ~ the beauty God brings from life's upheavals"

That being the title of the recent book by Ken Gire that came through the post for me 2-3 weeks ago. I had totally forgotten I pre -ordered it via Amazon some months back in October/November.

Timely read, a very simple and easy read - yet profound reminders.

Upheavals is a familiar picture. Not just familiar but real. At least, I know I can say that about my own life. The shocks and surprises and thundering waves of the unexpected in the peace and quiet. Holding on and trusting that there is a season for everything, and that everything is made beautiful in His time is only glittering possible due to his weathering grace. The depth of each experience is bitter sweet, in discovering the hidden mystery and secret about who we are and who God is.

I read the book for the first time, taking it out of the packaging on Friday morning as my devotions. It re-aligned my perspective in a moment of feeling overwhelmed by life upheavals, more specifically the many lines crossing in my head about my immediate transitional plans. Yet God is still good. As the author rightly puts it, this book helps us to learn to let God bring beauty of out life's troubles and give you eyes to see what once seemed to be destruction turns out to be creation!

It encouraged me enough to dig deeper in Scriptures to seek the "Revealed One" and prepare for my follow through time with JL that afternoon...

Ambiguous as the story of life may seem, I am reminded to see His beauty in the lifelessness, brokenness and ugliness of the world.

Learning French and Mandarin with those who so patiently teach me, He constantly reminds me that coming out of my comfort zone and growing in my calling is NOT just about mastering the languages. Not what I can do in my strength or with my skills. It is about wet eyes, bent knees and a broken heart.

One more week to go before I head off...and I'm praying that the outstanding transitional things here in London will be surrendered totally to Him whilst I'm away.

To be assured that God will go before me and that I will seek His favour more than man's favour.

The GOD THING!

2007-03-09T14:05:00.000Z

I received a very encouraging email today, and he signed off with the following phrase (of which I am now borrowing!!)

"Don't just do the GOOD THING, do the GOD-THING."

The GOD THING is often OUT of Our Comfort Zone.

I was preparing this morning for this weekend's idmf follow through when I read this email from Singapore. Reminded me of this GOD THING!

Intentional Disciplemaking is more of a culture that needs to be embraced daily, not just a yearly corporate vision of a church and ministry. This makes it the difficult thing, cos it means every person needs to live out this life boldly and daily where everything is about igniting this passion and fire of discipleship. Intentional Disciplemaking to be precise. Guess the idea is not that disciplemaking is something that is "oh yeah, its GOOD" and thats it you hear when people talk about it IF you ask them. But really, intentional disciplemaking is a commission, and mission from God that we are to take seriously cos of the Master...and we boldly live it out wherever we are...through PDA, through growing in the spiritual disciplines and mentoring etc..

I sometimes wish that I had more FAITH to do the GOD THING. And I sometimes wish people see that this is everyone's calling in the church or the ministry. Not just for the Leaders or Pastors. And we need to develop it as a culture not just share it as "this is the vision and direction of the church" and it becomes any other announcement. We drop the word around once in a while kinda thing. But truly live it out, talk about it, preach about it weekly and integrate it within the DCG group study so people CATCH it!!

Yes, I do sometimes wish I had MORE FAITH to do the GOD THING. Its costly, and its always taking me on levels I am uncomfortable being in...and as I prepare for this weekend, it challenges me to go back to basics of knowing the Master, and loving Him. The fire is not ignited because of passion. It is ignited because of the awestruck wonder of loving Him.

A life that knows WHO GOD IS...that trust in His love and He is in total control.

From the IDT reflections I have been receiving and reading, I believe it has spurred me on in this race towards the finishing line..

And doing the GOD THING starts with the simplicity of FAITH and Prayer..

To see as God sees, and Do as God says!

Evangelism and Maturity

2007-03-08T01:49:00.000Z

I've been ranting on abit on PDA lifestyle alot lately...but also feel that it doesn't end there.

P= Personal Revival
D= Divine Appointments
A = Active Obedience

Walking in PDA has taught my DCG group and a couple of my peers in CCiL who went to IDMF alot!! We will be the first to admit to you that growing in personal evangelism as a culture has connected most of us to our world in a real sense. Most of us have learnt that it is good to be challenged, and we want to be challenged yet we also recognise we have a long way to go.

Evangelism is no longer just confined to whether we have time to do it, or confined to just certain people doing it. It is now a mark of our spiritual life.

But where does it start, it starts from that deep desire inside us to catch the heart and call of God - personal revival which leads to us being sensitive to the divine appointments that God drops on us.

The goal of PDA lifestyle or evangelism is not merely to see people come or won for Christ. It is FAR greater. I've learnt in the last few weeks not to live in the vibes of "wow" someone came to Christ but to look at evangelism as part of the process of disciplemaking. PDA lifestyle is the first step of disciplemaking, just a process to the overall bigger call to the great commission. It starts with PDA, but it goes far beyond just that. It includes the spiritual growth and journey of the person towards maturity in Christ.

Maturity..I have been toying with this word in my head quite abit. Since being challenged personally to do word studies as another way of growing deep in Scriptures, I find my greek and hebrew vocab increasing BUT it makes a world of difference in understanding Scripture and the context. Often we assume we know what the word means yet when we dig deeper, we find treasures that blows our mind away.

Finally today, I sat down and focused to look it up as I was preparing for my time to meet JL this afternoon. Also did some cross referencing on how many times and where this word is used in Scripture. I don't like going online to search for stuff cos its a distraction for me, so it took me longer as I had to use the paper dictionary and concordance and my greek bible that I got free from my tutor last year!!

Teleio, being its origin means "full grown" in the context of spiritual maturity for us christians. And when referencing full grown in the context of us as christians, it is not surprising to discover that almost all passages and verses are in the context of some form of discipleship and being more like Christ at ALL levels! The apostle Paul uses "teleio" in his letters to challenged us to think about our lives, and the journey of discipleship whether in the pursuit of our dreams, ministry or trials. Yes, this word is used 100% in NT christian living!!

Linking this back to PDA, I believe it is just as much a responsibility of true disciplemakers to ourselves work toward being "full grown" and then also to help others who come to Christ in their journey to being "full grown". Just like kids, who then reach adulthood, a marker of maturity when they are fully grown. But at every step, it is important to have a parent or an older person there to guide them along who nurtures them as much as it is important for us to us to grow up ourselves. Also, kids develop their mind and grow intellectually through reading, and grow socially through friendships. When they grow to be teenagers,they learn what difficulties and problems are on a more personal scale and how they face them as they grow up. Making mistakes and failing is also part of that growth/maturity as kids move to adulthood.It is a process, and it takes time. And time is a POSITIVE thing - as we live life daily we grow in knowledge, understanding and experience of God through the development work of the Holy Spirit in us.

Hmm..why am I on about evangelism and maturity...think its cos of the fruits I see around me, and how its time for us also to invest in spiritual development hand in hand with spiritual multiplication in God's kingdom.

Impacting is two-fold - evangelism and maturity(development/growth) BUT the result and end point is the SAME. Only one thing - Life transformation.

The most obvious indicator of growth and maturity is lives that are transformed. We know we are growing or a person is growing when God is REAL in our lives.

Charles Colson was spot on. The process begins when the believers band together. Then they evangelise (PDA). They take the great commission to heart and boldly live it out. Others begin to follow their example including those who are won to Christ through evangelism.And soon they reach a critical mass.

I was talking to M excitedly about how I felt very encouraged to see how JL has made a decision to get baptised over Easter. I remember the day she came to Christ, and only just last week I spoke to her about the realness of God in her life. She made me wanna cry so much as she shared, and then I asked her what sums up how things have been for her thus far. She took out her ipod, and clicked on a song for me. It is called "Emmanuel" by Hillsong. That's when I started crying. It is the only Christian song she has memorised, and for a reason cos its how she is reminded of who God is to her daily despite how life is. JL is one of the fruits of PDA evangelism in my church, and seeing her come - there is this burning desire for me to go back to basics with her, so I too can grow as I meet up with her more these next few weeks in preparation for Baptism. She has since joined us in praying for the lost and for the prayerwalk around the neighbourhood cos she wants to share God too. This to me is a great example of evangelism and maturity being integral in a Christian.

I believe Evangelism and Maturity are important marks of the spiritual life. The impact is the same i.e. life transformation.

As we seek to be that "certain kind" of authentic, effective and rooted disciples and disciplemakers, may we continue to embrace evangelism and spiritual maturity in our daily lives.

Holy, Holy, I will bow before, my Lord and King,
Hallelujah,You have come to us, you make all things new.
Emmanuel, Jesus Christ, You'll never let me go,
My shepherd king, your'e watching over me,
Emmanuel.
So amazing, You have named the stars, of the deepest night.
Still you love me, you have called me name and I will follow you.
Holy, Holy, God almighty, here is none like you.

©2005 Reuben Morgan/Hillsong Publishing

2 Corinthians

2007-02-28T11:17:00.000Z

Having some time before I head off to East Sussex to Annan Court for an outing to the Woods with M and W.

Starting a study of 2 corinthians this morning, part of my morning reading for the next month or so (depending on progress).

Different perspectives can be taken, with different focus depending on the reader.

For me, I guess its to ask the question, not just what is God saying to me, but what is God saying about HIM.

I remember the last time I read corinthians, the focus was alot on the need for grace in the work of the church in giving, or just how to exercise grace as leaders and a few warnings here and there.

Guess after, a one sitting reading of 2 corinthians today to get a brief big picture, what stands out for me overall is that meekness IS strength!

More intricately, in this book, I believe there a gems of lessons on and in discipleship Without a doubt, I believe so, for me at least. It also then further takes us on to how to maintain that heartbeat for discipleship.

Okay, so i'm starting with chapter 1:1-11 today, focusing on the fellowship of the suffering (eventhough the title on my bible says God of all comfort). Quite amazing how it is such a correlation to the past 3 weeks of our study at DCG on revelation where alot of the focus was on this "fellowship of the suffering". God is in total control, even when we dun have the ability to endure. But it is that true dependency on Him, and as a result of yup, GRACE and PEACE we have in Him, we will be more than OK.

Off to Annan Court now ...

Grace and Peace

The Unexpected

2007-02-26T16:34:00.000Z

Few days ago, my secondary school friend asked me how I celebrated Valentine's day and what Valentines day meant to me. Pretty unexpected.

After I shared with her, she asked me so what did you do for Valentine's day last year and how is that different to this year. Pretty unexpected.

Did not know where she was going with it. I on the other hand tried to recall last year, and funny enough I told her about what I was up to on Valentines Day last year and she laughed so hard, she almost choked. Pretty unexpected.

Then she looked at me saying,"you're not serious are you??!!"

Basically, one year ago on Valentines Day, I spent the day helping a friend put together a Valentine's Day Quiz. I spent the morning compiling questions similar to that of the board game "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". And the rest of the day, I was practising this quiz on people to see if it was workable. That's what I remember from last year.

It sounds so silly where this conversation was going but God used it as an inroad for me to talk about my faith.

Her next question was : "why were you doing the quiz? what was it for?"

I shared with her it was for a friend's church meeting (actually it was an Outreach but I didn't use that word!!) and they were having a valentine's celebration. And well, that started us off on a conversation about God and love, and later on what following Jesus meant to me. She was just really puzzled and at awe to this aspect of the Valentines Quiz for a Church Meeting and she just dug deeper.

And we talked abit about my work, and what I do for church. We also talked about life, and how to survive life in this post modern world.

And finally, she asked, "so you don't need to be loved by people, just God? How can life be so simple?"

Then I shared with her about John 3:16, and shared with her about what Valentine's Day means to me. It was more than just being loved by someone and being remembered and appreciated. And sharing a love story of God's pursuit and love for her when he gave up everything for her. In PDA lifestyle, A = active obedience. I was faced with a choice. Do I go further and ask her if she wants to receive Jesus and ask her what love means to her. Do I ask her if she's looking for something or someone?

We're talking about my secondary school friend here. Not a stranger. Someone whom I have known for a long time, and whom I used to torture teachers with, play tennis with, talk about boys with, go to parties with and skip school with. She'll think I'm some looney talking her into being a Christian after all this years..

Well, think God knew what was going through my head. And she was the one who asked me: so, you really believe this God is real and I should give it a go? Pretty unexpected.

Erm...and I was being either silly or dumbfounded. And my reply was : "why not?"

Then she shared with me about how she was feeling empty on Valentine's Day etc, and it made her think about true love and about life.

Guess we can all relate. The world is looking for love in all sorts of things and people. There is this rush to find "the one", yet this ONE is Jesus. When she asked me if I have found "the one", it was pretty easy to say YES. Kinda in the same way I guess that in a life partner, the concept of ONE is important. That we love ONE person, not be double minded and have feelings for more than one person at the same time. It breeds the whole sense of loving God or our partners WHOLEHEARTEDLY 100% :) As we are one with Christ, so we are also one with each other. ONE true heart for God. One true heart for each other.

Today when I reflect back on this conversation, and how she is a step closer to God, I remember her last question : "So Val, how is life different then for you? How do you see life each day in what you do? It must be difficult not being out there in the corporate world when everyone we went to school with is building a career?"

I see life as a journey, as the great adventure. And that is how I see following Jesus is. The journey is unpredictable, full of detours, surprises - sometimes even distractions BUT I know as Scripture tells me that I can have confidence in the One who is leading the way. And at different spots, He will look back and asks me whether I am still willing to follow Him wherever He takes me.

"Unless there is an element of risk in our exploits for God (exploits for God = my whole life from a Val perspective), there is no need for faith." - Hudson Taylor

My friend is giving God a go...and I am awestruck in the way God can use such a silly conversation as an opportunity to share the gospel, and my life. Pretty unexpected.

Pretty awesome.

PDA lifestyle ROCKS!

A broken world

2007-02-25T00:39:00.000Z

For what Its worth....

It is risky business...

Authenticity in our Christian walk is sadly a niche quality.

Radical Discipleship? Nice term but is that all to it?

Some Christians have this misconception that disciplemaking is about being successful in their ministries - reflected in the "more" they think they can do for God, sometimes even to think that God needs them to help Him along the way. Often I hear leaders in churches or preachers talk about discipleship. To step out of your comfort zone. To be zealous and passionate for God. In the western world, it is easy to talk about discipleship and disciplemaking - where death is not imminent, streets are safer.

I don't believe the being radical in discipleship means becoming an overzealous extremist.

BUT, I believe it IS about living our lives to the full. The crucial factor isn't where we are, what we are doing or how much we are doing. The crucial factor is to know that GOD calls us to FULL SURRENDER, wherever we are, whatever we are doing in our adventure of life - and maximising ALL our gifts for His glory demonstrating authentic biblical living.

Lately, I have been asked by many people why I am no longer practising law. I have also been asked why I am not pursuing my career in the marketplace.

With every "big" question like that, I don't have the answers. I only know deep in my heart that only one thing matters : God's in control and each day, it is about delighting in the joy of loving Jesus - which then adds to my perspective of what has real substance and value to everyday of my life.

I woke up today asking myself about the things that have an impact on my heart. Media and Popular Culture ranks top. The insidious impact of such in its subtle way define me on such shallow terms in what I wear, what i listen to, what i watch, what i eat, how I see relationships, who i know, how much i know, where I study, what I study, how much I earn etc..

Its sad but yet refreshing to know what can sometimes erode who I am and dilute my passion, conviction for what has real value and substance.

I discovered that RADICAL DISCIPLESHIP is not all talk and ideas we can do to pursue in disciplemaking. It is to embrace knowing that He gave EVERYTHING for me, He KNOWS what is BEST for me, then surely it makes sense giving it all back to Him to use for His purposes and for His glory. For me, it means that my life needs to match up to the words I profess to believe.

When I think of God, and I see people around me, sometimes I feel as Christians and as a church and as an individual I am so far removed from the reality of the society. We talk alot about discipleship and disciplemaking, and we profess to live by the Word and to hunger to grow deep in the Word. Yet, sometimes we are so pathetically marginal to the life of our broken world, that the WORD becomes so inconsequential to our lives.

I feel I have lost that cutting edge for this broken world. More so I am saddened that my daily experience of Christ is so much far removed from leaving the safety of my own harbour of nice church, nice ministry. Have I lost the core of what mattered most to me? That sense of losing that cutting edge and vitality in my passion for God and people. Today I felt sad. I told my sis I felt sad. Not knowing exactly why. I guess its that kingdom perspective of missions. I guess its that dream to be smack in the centre of cutting edge social work and turning the hearts of the oppressed, poor and those who are suffering back to the Father.

This sense of sadness, and being on muddy waters for me is making me think about my core and deep passions as a person. The one thing that I cannot lose in my core being. Faced with such a bleak analysis, I find my daily experience of loving Jesus rather limited to a privatisation of my faith.

I am experiencing the consequence of such a privatised faith where Christ's lordship is restricted to certain times and places in my compartmentalised life. Engaging in PDA lifestyle within the cell, has a big impact on me - just making me think alot about my own life. Making me realise I cannot privatise my faith to that of my compartmentalised life.

What attracts the people out there is not the hypocrisy of sunday religion; they are attracted by a dynamic daily relationship which embraces the need to survive in the pressurised world and the challenges of day to day living.

My problem and a long stupid question I have asked myself is not why am I not pursuing a corporate career and where am I supposed to be. The problem doesn't lie in the fact that we are in the wrong place - Rather, we are NOT living out the reality of our faith where we are. Following Jesus isn't about being nice, says one radical disciple of His. It is about accepting a call and trusting God's power to be unleashed in our lives. If being nice is our highest aspiration, the gospel is emasculated and becomes simply life-enhancing instead of life-transforming

A wise man once reminded me that if our greatest virtue is that we don't offend anyone, then there will be no potency or passion in our message or movement, which ends up being okay news instead of the BEST news in the world.

May we all be awestruck by Him, and choose to live and give our utmost for His Highest!

And we settle for nothing less..

"Radical discipleship is a call to live our lives to the full, with the call to full surrender. He wants our everything, not to limit us or stop us from enjoying life, rather to release us into Hs appointed calling." - Guillebaud

Many hearts are hungry, Many lives are broken.....and they need Jesus...

The news so far..

2007-02-15T13:47:00.000Z

Picking a rather random day to update my posting..while waiting for my laptop that is being serviced at the Apple Centre..(thats another story but its not the Mac, its just me being stupid in messing up my Macbook)

Yes, my first post for 2007 - in the month of February..

So, what did everyone get up to for Valentines? I cooked a very nice rump steak, to my own surprise - the beef was superb and wow, can't imagine my marinade concoction turned out so yummy!! Nothing beats cooking something that turns out so nice and yummy and you get complimented for it too :) Guess the compliment is the bonus or could it be the subtle hint in saying to me cook again or more? :) Oh joy!!

Bits and pieces to update, but mainly that January has just flown by "like that". Time at home in Singapore and KL was fantabulous - eating loads and spending loads (yup, got my sister the black video Ipod and my mom, the new Blackberry!) Refreshing to value how each meal and time spent was precious with my few friends, and thoroughly encouraged being being back in church for that one sunday in SIB.

The preparations for IDMC/IDMF Conferences awaited me upon my immediate return to London as there was alot to do, to catch up with and more importantly to seek God on. Pastor Edmund's time here with us was phenomenally life changing personally for me, not just in what He shared from God's word, but truely from the power of God working in His life. He embraced life with a sense of confidence in His walk with God, and a sense of intimacy. His life is in itself a testimony. The conference tapped into my passion to live for the cause again, to seriously ask myself what is the cause for me, and to re-engage with that passion and dream God birth in me. I believe the most treasured times for the time Ps Edmund was here was the snippets and small moments of conversations he had with me (God knew exactly who was the right person to say certain things to me!!). I had like a spiritual father in that one week, just over table talk - someone who helped me engage and think deeper about the right things yet someone who gave me the space to do it too. I remember the last thing Pastor Ed said to me at the airport, and that really has taken me on a lifetransforming journey of learning like I have never learnt before. For that I am grateful. More so though, I find myself in awe of God's awesome hand in this and God Himself for being so faithful, gracious and extravagant in His love for me.

What did I learn most from IDMC/IDMF? To love Jesus , to really love Jesus.

Someone close to me said, I can't believe you were tearing every session - was it that emotional or moving?? I can only express that I was tearing because I really really miss God, and through the talks or videos I was moved by what a loving God I have, and seeing the lives and testimonies of people from the videos and talks, I believe God has placed all of us here in this world, to give this generation HOPE and to make a difference in lives. Thats what loving Him is all about as well, to do the will of the Father!

Fruits of things the past 2 weeks has encouraged my heart tremendously as a few of us took small steps of faith and obedience to step out of our comfort zones. My heart found kindred spirits in a certain few - people who a growing to be "that certain kind". We felt the importance of developing and walking in PDA lifestyle, and the best way to do it is to be able to share and pray of the many opportunities God brings to us "DAILY" in our conversations with our friends/random people who dont know God yet. The fruits have been encouraging. So seeing that it is CNY, just as we met for coffee last Tuesday - we decided to follow the voice of our hearts to plan for a CNY outreach for Central (my DCG group!) So by Friday, we had to have a plan and in that short time - a combined effort of getting invite cards, programme and publicising it at DCG level including incorporating that whole aspect of PDA in our Bible Studies!! I remember how everyone was talking about PDA by the end of that Friday night...man, amazing how God works. And funnily enough, people DO have stories to share and DO have friends to reach - the difference is that we are all doing it together, growing togehter and sharing God's heart for the lost together!! Its so much easier when you have that support - and you want to just do it so much more!!

So, just to share one story - two days ago, one guy from the DCG had 3 of his PDAs come to Christ in one day!! And he only started actively engaging and walking in PDA lifestyle after IDMF!! When I got the sms, I was like WOW!! God, you rock!

Pray for us this Friday as we use the CNY celebration to CONNECT with OUR WORLD out there. I guess with the post modern world, we believe we have to ENGAGE FIRST and BE RELEVANT before we dash straight into the purely belived God and make a decision now to be christians.

I've learnt our lives must be a walking epistle and people NEED to feel safe with each other...there is always first this need to feel connected! ( be it christian or non christian) People all just want to connect cos once they are disconnected they feel even more lost then they really are. Most people just want to know how to survive life, no longer living it to the potential they should be.

So, yup - that's Friday ( tomorrow) Nite - our live jazz and contemporary music night with loads of food and games. Four of my friends are coming tomorrow , 2 non christian friends of mine from secondary school whom I just bumped into after 8 years of no contact, 2 others who just need to come back to God and connect with others.

Perhaps I should not feel this way but its abit weird and nerve wrecking for me with them coming and then at the end I'm sharing the "talk" (evangelistic type) message to round up the night. Have been wondering if I should be sharing and been stalling alot since initially I asked M to share and we thought he would definitely be a good person to do it. But things didn't seem to down that route with M being on nights this week till Friday morning, guess he will be potentially pretty spaced out. And then there is this other option of getting our speaker for church service on Sunday to do it if need be.

Its thursday afternoon now, and I'm still stalling and praying...guess maybe this is more a step of obedience and faith for me...but I'm so tired. Hardly had a day free to prepare or think especially having daily schedules of work to fulfil and people to meet. I'm so tired..

And today C sends an email out with this verse that struck a strong chord in my core, " 'I have made you a light for the Gentiles, that you may bring salvation to the ends of the earth." (Acts13:47)

So God takes me back to that moment with Him where He gave me a that dream for this generation, and holds me to my word at IDMF about the cause I sign up and am living for. What are you saying to me God?

Do pray for us at Central DCG for Friday Nite, and for CCiL (Chinese Church in London)'s Evangelistic Service on Sunday.

The dawn of Christmas

2006-12-28T04:58:00.000Z

What is magical about Christmas?

I thought it was the rekindling of good friendships
I thought it was the exciting buzz of the great scenes of edinburgh
I thought it was the opportunity to chill and get a break from the hectic demands of work
I thought it was the carols, church service and the sales
I thought it was that fantabulous time of indulging in good food and some pretty decent wine

All this was what I was anticipating Christmas would be for me this 2006...

But all this.....everything didn't go as planned.

Instead this Christmas, I find myself wanting ..and hungry for God to fill that empty space in my heart. It was a whirlwind of a month - alot of frustration and discontenment and all I wanted was for Christmas to come so I can indulge in those expectations listed above. I have always had a pretty celebrative festive Christmas. This Christmas was really quiet for me, real quiet without the buzz of any partying or festivity. More so, it dawned on me that the what is magical about Christmas is to celebrate life, the life of Christ and my own life. And to see that magical restoration of our hearts and lives with Him was beautiful.

As the year also makes it mark to the next 365 days of 2007, I find God deeply opening my eyes and heart to see just how much I have actually grown. I thank Him for discernment, protection and covering over my life - to make certain important decisions and the strength to walk away from the complexities of some things in my own life. I know 2007 is going to be a great year ahead, and this restedness of ending 2006 totally surrendered to Him, and leaving all that external stresses and disillusionment I was totally blinded to - I can truly say Lord, You have been so good to me.

Loving and caring is never a competition, neither is serving God...and the bible is clear about what love is. And that love is truly experienced when we experience Christ, if not we will never know how to give it. Love is patient and kind. It does not demand its own way. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Love endures to the greatest circumstance, and the magic of Christmas is to realise that Christmas always has to be special because it reminds us, and me in particular of this love. And to be able to share and give it to those around me...and I thank God for opportunities to be able to do that this year with A & J.

I pray as much as 2006 is a year of many hiccups, it is ending with many personal breakthroughs thanks to those hiccups, and I am entering 2007 with a restedness of being able to relentlessly pursue God with no external stress, and with a freedom of joy in Him.

My mentor spoke to me today from Spain, and I am thankful for him and for the Lord's guidance in matters of opening my spiritual eyes to finally see the frailty of my naiveness. He is one of the most compassionate and giving person I know, and is someone who is so full of grace. And he teaches me the art of surrendering, and points me to the cross of Christ.

And I thank God for godly parents who never fail to pray for me each day, for the Lord's covering and His spirit to open my eyes to sneeze out what it was that totally blinded me..

I am resurrecting my dream, a dream which I have never shared with anyone - and I am thankful to God that this dream is not dependent on people but wholly just a dream dependent on God. And I am learning that resurrecting one's dream is found in that desperation for God to work in one's life, and for me - it is that sense of desperation for God to work in MY life and I by His grace He will lead me back that true theology of who He is as the source.

The dawn of Christmas for me was experiencing the reality of Christ so deeply and to live life with that joy in Him daily. And today, back in London I am thankful for tonight's time of reflection because it helps me know that I am no longer going to be affected or let certain things affected. Radical discipleship is only about Christ alone, and the way we live our lives. And obedience is always about doing the right thing to please God, not men. Bill Crowder got it right on the spot when he said that when faced with the choice between doing good and failing to do anything at all, we must always choose to do what's right. Religious activity in itself has no value.

As Pastor Ong has rightly guided me for next year, my prayer is that I will be able to be a channel of God's goodness and grace as I embrace 2007.

I am rested.
I am so rested.

See ya on this blog in 2007...

Wow!

2006-12-10T01:21:00.000Z

Today I was drawn to something that really shook me up , and its substance is found in the context of Scripture about salvation...

Verses to believers :

Matt 10 : 22
And you will be hated by all for My name’s sake. But he who endures to the end will be saved

Matt 24 : 12-14
And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold. But he who endures to the end shall be saved. And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come

Rev 2 : 10
Do not fear any of those things which you are about to suffer. Indeed, the devil is about to throw some of you into prison, that you may be tested, and you will have tribulation ten days. Be faithful until death, and I will give you the crown of life

Salvation is a process :
Justification – Positional Holiness: We are saved.
Sanctification – Practical Holiness: We are being saved.
Glorification – Permanent Holiness: We will be saved.

Dallas Willard wisely wrote "Grace is not opposed to effort ; it is opposed to earning "

What is it all about?

2006-12-09T02:02:00.000Z

Intrinsically what is it that has changed?

A big thing over table talk is one of purpose. We want to know our purpose for life so we chase after something or take some self discovery test. We want to know the purpose of our cell groups so we talk about what we can do. We want to know the purpose of discipleship so we read all we can about it.

Purpose.

For Christians, we get the textbook answer : the real meaning of life is found in God.

What exactly does that mean? How is that relevant to us? It has been so reduced to a tag line, however true it may be in substance.

But having a bright rigor and honest life before God, we find that there are different ways of looking at things. That all things are a matter of perspective. And this perspective is what determines our outlook on God, work, life and people. A theology of God, who God is to me ( the personal ) is reflected in every area of our life, whether we realise it or not. And that perspective is having a centrality in Christ at all times.

A wrestled truth is one of delighting at the cost of treasuring Christ above life itself.

Something that rests really deep within my heart this month is this cry for the generations. And my plea to this generation, as I work with young people is to know that they have one life - that's all and how to be sure not to waste it, and for them to help others not to waste their lives. To really see them, this generation make their lives count for eternity and the safeguards to not waste this one life they and I have.

In my period of searching this year, there have been very dark moments. I feel increasingly deeply I have failed miserably in many aways, and failed people I was entrusted with. I feel that fear of making mistakes have led me to holding back in many relationships, and in ministry. And that authenticity as a core value is slowly being compromised in place of the crying need in my heart to just be less vulnerable. I don't take as much risks with people, with God or with anything else. Don't know about that humble boldness for God anymore. I err on the side of caution rather than faith. I believed this week, God really ministered to me to not feel as if I am so damaged and beyond repair. I guess as damaged goods sometimes you feel you never would be able to be as effective as the designer made ones, or perhaps you just aren't good enough anymore. The real struggle I think for me is that the longer I remain in a posture of being damaged, and the longer I let the recurrence of certain things and people curb my own worth in God, I end up no longer wanting to move past them.

Some things are so deep. And, as a friend once put it, if only we have a delete button to just press, things will be so much easier.

But as my sister wrote in her blog, such things can never fester when the Holy Spirit cleanses our mind and soul with His sanctifying touch, hence every day is a day to kneel at the cross again.

And really, I am learning that true healing is reflected in a willingness to be vulnerable again....and with that perspective because of His touch, I can take small steps again in this journey because of Christ.

God has been speaking to me in my dire state this past two weeks about my own life. Don't waste it - you only have one life and realising it is a passionate call that I had to own for myself, not just my dream for the generation of youths today. Then, you see who God is to you. And we think of God as the creator God, then looking at His Word which clearly spells out that He as the creator God , created us to live with a single passion.

John Piper wrote that God created us to live with a single passion to joyfully display his supreme excellence in all the spheres of life. The wasted life is a life without passion.

It is a quote that I read while I was in Las Pasmas when I first pick up this book he wrote, and I reminded as I was on ship reading it, that transform my heart to really want to make a difference with what I have including giving up my comfort of the ideal life, and instead to die boasting the cross of Christ. I came back to London that year, and I gave as much as I could in finishing my exams, and then prayed for God to lead me on...and one year on, here I am reminded that if I want to pursue Christ, there are certain RISKS and COSTS for the sake of righteousness and authenticiy and for the cause.

Today, I think personally I can't just talk about purpose without taking it along with true authentic discipleship of living life with a passion of knowing Christ, and let that knowledge of who He is determine every move I make, every friendship I have and every career I embark on.

Authentic discipleship helps us to see the passion and excitement of living lives fully devoted to Jesus - and this package comes with a whole load of failures that will lead to brokenness, which will result in the deeper work of God in our lives as He moulds us increasingly no matter how difficult times may be. Seeing this as the GOOD HAND of God at work..

So this is life....and the Lord is still the great teacher, and we are forever holding that L ( Learner's) Plate.

For You

2006-12-07T05:58:00.000Z

For you, for making me know I am special to you and for believing the best about me.

I am blogging this for you, and thank you for this song. It means much at this time and as the splatter of rain hits against the glass window, I am reminded of you.

And for the rest who still visit this page, though seasons change - I am still on the same side of the moon, and updates these days are of a more personal - so drop me an email and we can share in this adventure of "life".

The Birthday Song

Don't worry about that extra line
That's creeping up upon your face
It's just a part of nature's way to say you've grown a little more
Trees have rings and thicker branches
Kids shoes get a little tighter
Every year we're getting closer to who we're gonna be
It's time to celebrate the story of how you've come to be

Happy Birthday, my friend
Here's to all the years we've shared together
All the fun we've had
You're such a blessing
Such a joy in my life
May the good Lord bless you
And may all your dreams come true

So light a candle on your cake
For every smile you've helped create
For every heart and every soul you've helped to grow
A little more
A few more pounds, a little more grey
Don't count the years, just count the way
It takes a little time to go from water into wine
Don't ever lose the wonder of that child within your eyes

The importance of celebrating..

2006-07-24T01:03:00.000+01:00

I couldn't really sleep tonight...so I kinda kept awake and I read 1 Peter from the Bible. I have been thinking alot about "trials" and " areas of testing". I think for every Christian, our understanding of trials as kinda pivotal in our walk with God. Most understand that trials are necessary so we learn and grow. But, is that it? I mean really, really, is that it?

I was thinking today as I looked on my own journey with God, and as I share discretely tonight here about a conversation I had with a friend just an hour ago who was going thru what I would consider a trial. I guess the best thing is to listen. But really, after that what next? What does one say to another friend who's going through a trial or a difficult time? Do we just say hey - trials are necessary so you learn and grow? Is that really understanding what trials is?

My mentor told me a very long time ago that 1 Peter was his favourite book and its a book he memorises time and time again, because in understanding 1 Peter, we are totally geared in our walk and faith. I guess at the back of my mind I am aware that when people talk about trials, okay - go refer to 1 Peter. Tonight, I thought I'll read it a couple of times cos that question and issue really bugged me with my friend..I asked myself hmm, If I was going through a very difficult trial, what is the first thing I need to know besides the obvious learning and growing.

I guess for me, I always feel to really understand something, the best thing is always to formulate and ask a question, and it is key to ask the right question. Maybe this question doesn't seem relevant to most people but personally this is what I asked myself , what will i call a trial in my life, what are things that will classify as trials? Are trials simply just things that I seem to find difficulty in doing or when I go through situations that upset me and I'm not happy about or things that make me angry?

Surprisingly, I found the answer to that rather random question in 1 Peter. Reading 1 Peter helped me with this, and maybe helped me put things into perspective with my friend to really know how I could journey through this time with her. It was a simple truth : The right question is to always ask "what is the right theology". Did I get my theology right? Basic first step for me is to recognise that trials are not man made. Trials are God planned and He permits it. There is nothing "I" can do to change it. So, it isn't about me trying all kinds of methods to get out of a situation or a trial because it is God planned. The only element is trust and dependency. Then reading further into 1 Peter, how can I trust and depend on God - on what basis - what else do I need to know? Ok..I know I sound quite silly asking these kind of basic questions but in asking the basics, I discovered a buzzing truth today. So on what basis and what else do I need to know? 1 Peter clearly tells us that trials always have a purpose - there is always a purpose and its always only for a season. That purpose is God's divine character building in us and the season is always one of God breaking us to the point of surrendered dependency on Him. Yes, the breaking is good and the pain is something we will endure and must go through. God knows how and where to break us. This is so real in my life. And reflecting on it today, I somehow can go "A-ha!" You knew it didn't you God?

So okay, now that I know there is a purpose and its for a season, then what? How - what's the solution? God is very smart, that's why He is a brilliant designer. I was looking for a verse I thought was somewhere in the beginning of 1 Peter so naturally, I would start with chapter 1 right? Yeah, I read it earlier..This time, unintended but ah well God intended probably, it was as if a magnifying glass glued me to certain verses that answers this question on so, whats the solution? how does one respond knowing that yes what I am goin thru has a purpose and is for a season? 1 Pet 1 : 6 - 8 answers brilliantly.." In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials so that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire may be found to praise, honour and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ whom you have not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory"

That was a big wow for me.

I think when sometimes I am too consumed by what is before me and I dun see a God perspective or even take the time to get my theology right, I end up sorrowful and wallowful. I seek solutions in the reasonable logic of trying to get myself out of it. I do largely use my own strength thinking I know what I'll do. I fail to appreciate that cos this is a trial then that means God is in FULL control of things.

1 Peter taught me the importance of celebrating, and I entitle this entry as that for the very reason that maybe instead of focusing primarily on the pain and difficulty, the key is to look up and rejoice that I am kept by the power of God, and that in celebrating a trial I am learning to give him praise, honour and glory at the revelation of Him, Jesus Christ to these times and circumstances. It is about a revelation of Him, every trial I go through or my friend goes through.

Scripture and the word of God is powerful - it is also so direct, right smack in front of us in print! So I guess, admittedly I'm feeling rather grateful that my understanding has deepened and I'm blogging it as an offer of thanksgiving and praise to Him who opened my spiritual eyes and understanding. Thank you Lord.

1 Peter ends amazingly with a great burst of encouragement to all of us, and points us to God. Written beautifully. Inspired so insightfully.

I Pet 5 : 6 - 11. ( I love verse 10 in particular so will highlight it!)

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called usto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. To Him be the glory and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.