"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void"
~Kathleen Kelly~
~Kathleen Kelly~
Autumn leaves surround the pavement we walk on each day, and the withering sight of trees clearly suggests that we may well see the end of our Indian Summer this week.
But I love Autumn...or rather I love the colours of Autumn. I love the fall because it makes me wanna take more walks to the park, or stroll along the river banks and even the occasional morning run. At times, when there's that windy breeze or the ever so predictable splatter of rain, I see myself skipping over puddles and trying to overpower the strong winds with my not so sturdy trench coat! Yes, autumn has its charms on me. It gives me a certain hope. It is like a breath of fresh air in life.
After all the frenzy of the week, the weekend that just passed was my breath of fresh air. I spent a very productive Saturday in this big house on my own chilling out, doing my devotions, enjoying the garden, reading and preparing for my talks. I even cooked and baked! That was so fun. See, sometimes you can have so much fun with your own self!! :) It was good. I spent a long time I realise thinking of how to talk to 11-13 year olds about the reasons for church and the part they play in the church. And just as some people have their most inspirational and creative moments while their soaking in their bath tubs, I get mine when I'm usually in my most relax moods of cooking and watching a game of sport or a movie!
I felt really enriched. God really used the things I love doing to show me something about who I am. I feel so blessed to know and believe that He is ABLE to do exceedingly abundantly more than I can ever think or imagine. Nice simple life when you know God is the one who gives you everything you need. Life is simple. It just isn't easy.
We all wonder about life, and how things have turned out or how things could have turned out. As I follow the Rugby World Cup, I catch certain valuable lessons about vigour, risks in choices made, tenacity, family, and the strength of what is in one's heart that make me pause to ask this very question "am I brave enough like the Lions?, am I as passionate about what I love even in such a marginal defeat like the All Blacks, am I as tenacious right to the end like the Los Pumas? All these 3 teams did not quite have things turn out the way the bookies and experts predicted but all these teams had one thing in common, they always had the end in sight - that was always a fact.
In this wondering, sometimes we lose sight of what is the end. And if our end is clear, the wondering can turn into living life the best we can, in the way God has chosen - that means being able to surrender to His will - in the line of work we are in, in the people God has put in our lives, in the place where we are and most importantly to be able to surrender our desires. It is the matter of the heart first.
I find that so so tough. And each day where money, status, comfort, sex and power determines the values of our world, I know it is also influencing me subconsciously as I too give alot of attention to these things. How do I know this? Well, today I browsed through my CV, and I wondered how life could have turned out if I did this or that. I started to imagine where I'd be in the corporate ladder, how much I'd earn, where I'd live and being with the guy of my dreams. And hence I think I realise, each day I need to take a baby step in making my heart a place God can dwell and by His spirit, I am able to fight this battle daily, just as I am, the best that I can.
I am starting to read a book entitled Lies That Go Unchallenged by Charles Colson, an author who I value so much for the way he communicates to the cutting edge part of me. I guess its that season for me to pick up on my reading for personal growth rather than for pleasure. It is a book I know I need, as this book examines cultural currents in the light of God's truth. We as people of God need to understand ourselves the repercussion of lies our culture feeds us. I so need that tutelage!
But I love Autumn...or rather I love the colours of Autumn. I love the fall because it makes me wanna take more walks to the park, or stroll along the river banks and even the occasional morning run. At times, when there's that windy breeze or the ever so predictable splatter of rain, I see myself skipping over puddles and trying to overpower the strong winds with my not so sturdy trench coat! Yes, autumn has its charms on me. It gives me a certain hope. It is like a breath of fresh air in life.
After all the frenzy of the week, the weekend that just passed was my breath of fresh air. I spent a very productive Saturday in this big house on my own chilling out, doing my devotions, enjoying the garden, reading and preparing for my talks. I even cooked and baked! That was so fun. See, sometimes you can have so much fun with your own self!! :) It was good. I spent a long time I realise thinking of how to talk to 11-13 year olds about the reasons for church and the part they play in the church. And just as some people have their most inspirational and creative moments while their soaking in their bath tubs, I get mine when I'm usually in my most relax moods of cooking and watching a game of sport or a movie!
I felt really enriched. God really used the things I love doing to show me something about who I am. I feel so blessed to know and believe that He is ABLE to do exceedingly abundantly more than I can ever think or imagine. Nice simple life when you know God is the one who gives you everything you need. Life is simple. It just isn't easy.
We all wonder about life, and how things have turned out or how things could have turned out. As I follow the Rugby World Cup, I catch certain valuable lessons about vigour, risks in choices made, tenacity, family, and the strength of what is in one's heart that make me pause to ask this very question "am I brave enough like the Lions?, am I as passionate about what I love even in such a marginal defeat like the All Blacks, am I as tenacious right to the end like the Los Pumas? All these 3 teams did not quite have things turn out the way the bookies and experts predicted but all these teams had one thing in common, they always had the end in sight - that was always a fact.
In this wondering, sometimes we lose sight of what is the end. And if our end is clear, the wondering can turn into living life the best we can, in the way God has chosen - that means being able to surrender to His will - in the line of work we are in, in the people God has put in our lives, in the place where we are and most importantly to be able to surrender our desires. It is the matter of the heart first.
I find that so so tough. And each day where money, status, comfort, sex and power determines the values of our world, I know it is also influencing me subconsciously as I too give alot of attention to these things. How do I know this? Well, today I browsed through my CV, and I wondered how life could have turned out if I did this or that. I started to imagine where I'd be in the corporate ladder, how much I'd earn, where I'd live and being with the guy of my dreams. And hence I think I realise, each day I need to take a baby step in making my heart a place God can dwell and by His spirit, I am able to fight this battle daily, just as I am, the best that I can.
I am starting to read a book entitled Lies That Go Unchallenged by Charles Colson, an author who I value so much for the way he communicates to the cutting edge part of me. I guess its that season for me to pick up on my reading for personal growth rather than for pleasure. It is a book I know I need, as this book examines cultural currents in the light of God's truth. We as people of God need to understand ourselves the repercussion of lies our culture feeds us. I so need that tutelage!
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