I'm at Pam's place hoping to get some inspiration to study after hearing from Stella that Pam's been locking herself indoors getting so much work down for the past two days...So, here I am sitted next to her, surfing the net for some of my lecture notes on the UCL website which is taking ages to load and all I can think about is that song from Meteor Garden which Stel and her successfully managed to deposit into my head for those entire 3 days in Budapest!! Argh....
Insurance law awaits me....tomorrow's topic is one about subrogation which is an indemnity principle which refers to the right of an insurer who has paid for a loss to pursue the wrongdoer in the name of the person insured. What it does is that it enables the liability to be fixed to the person responsible without allowing the insured to recover from both that person responsible and the insurer. I think it is a principle closely link to double insurance - that's my guess really. The study of law can be interesting if one truly can comprehend what the ratio of the cases are half of the time...but also that depends on the judgement provided by the wise ones who have been entrusted with that responsiblility to interprete the law. Its so funny nowadays when I do think about certain basic principles of law, I think of it in the light of 3 points or 5 points all begining with the same alphabet....hmmm, must be the influence of those sermons I keep listening to! Haha..
Sun...I see its rays but don't quite feel its warmth. Spring they say it is, but aside from those 3 days of high pollen count, its a big joke! Last nite as I was heading back from leaders cell, the temperature was 4 degrees!! One wonders if I'll really get to see those lovely lilies and daphodiles blooming and gracing the paths of Hampstead Heath :(
A song that has ministered to be for the past week, since the bank holiday is called My Heart, Your Home by Watermark. After returning from Edinburgh, I struggled for a week with the Lord about my relationship with Him because I did not feel I was growing, I felt I let Him down, I had doubts, I felt somewhat a failure even to the point of uselessness. Was God not speaking to me anymore? I felt lonely. I had miss the times I knew how real God could be. See, Lord Chan's words that really caught my attention at SEEC was this : YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD! An inner voice inside me said, Val, I'm still here. Do not be afraid. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire, the flames will not consume you. You are precious to me. I love you. This was the same verse I read today from a booklet I flipped through. Amazing...and the article added...Your joy will return - God promises it!
I guess sometimes all of us find that our relationship with God can be quite sporadic eventhough we are serving Him and doing things for Him. I thank God he doesn't judge me and He still uses me when I'm so imperfect. It is through this I am assured that all things are made possible because of Him, it is done in His strength not my own and that daily I appreciate the fullness of His grace in which I live by. I mean, seeing myself sometimes I feel so small and useless. But God sees beyond that - He sees what He can do with me and He decides to mature me in a process of learning. I was sharing about brokeness yesterday and questioning, aiya...why is God breaking me so much this year...so many times...cannot tahan sometimes lar. Then my mom reminded me yesterday that God doesn't break you lar...Its not break break break until it sounds so bad, but He is actually strengthening you. Brokeness always results in strengthening. WOW...indeed that is so. He uses us more powerfully once we are broken and humbled. But know also, God seeks a repentant heart -coming home to His arms and seeking only His desires not our own. No longer my rights, but God's rights. Being willing to make our heart His home.
My Heart, Your Home
Come and make my heart Your home
Come and be everything I am and all I know
Search me through and through
‘Till my heart becomes a home for You
A home for You, Lord
A home for You, Lord
Let everything I do open up
A door for You to come through
And that my heart would be a place
Where You want to be…
You are my portion, filling up everything
You are the fortune, that’s causing my heart to sing
That it’s amazing…
That You could make Yourself at home with me
Hmmm....finally, my prep notes have downloaded and I have 30 pages to read before tomorrow's 11am lecture!! Tempting to write more.....but will save that for later when I get home to my own nice comfy room....no offense to Pam, of course!
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