Walk By Faith

Psalm 46
1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,

3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.
Selah

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy place where the Most High dwells.

5 God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at break of day.

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

8 Come and see the works of the LORD,
the desolations he has brought on the earth.

9 He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear,
he burns the shields [b] with fire.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

11 The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah

This Psalm has helped me understand that God's POWER is the only thing that is keeping me together. I don't know how but I guess I gotta keep running back to the right and true source!

And I love Jeremy Camp's song which captures some of these things my heart wants to say to the Lord. The testimony behind how this song came about in itself makes the lyrics so meaningful. Here's the song:

Would I believe you when you would say
Your hand will guide my every way
Will I receive the words You say
Every moment of every day

Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see it
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me

Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
With the one breath You make me
Your grace covers all I do

Well I'm broken- but I still see Your face
Well You've spoken- pouring Your words of grace

I will walk,
I will walk,
I will walk by faith
I will, I will, I will walk by faith

The Proof of Passion

1. The proof of your passion is in your pursuits

2. A life that is full gives out but a life that is empty gives in

Since Easter, I've been revisiting entries in my journal on a fortnightly basis. This began as a random exercise, but I soon found it a significant feature in understanding the reason behind this blog and what I write, how I write.

The result of the exercise is this : A deep assurance that God takes care of me and watches over me as I grow up.

In May, God touched me very deeply when I went to Portugal - so deep that words can't articulate, yet it remains so real in my heart and mind. Here's a short video that E made when we shared at church one Sunday to reflect our time there. One thing I learnt from this trip is we need to take cities for Christ, and its possible to see a nation turn to Him. I have never prayed for a nation the way I prayed for Fatima, and as the Lord opened our eyes each day to see thousands of people in that courtyard who were so blinded by religion and not fear of God, I saw just how much people at large were hungry spiritually in their souls and how much people were looking for a Savior (answer to their needs).

Then, I headed back to my "tanahair" ie my homeland, with a bonus trip to Thailand with parents that challenged me again as I saw another nation so committed to their religion and gods but unfortunately blinded spiritually from the one true God. My heart broke very deeply as I walked the streets of Thailand seeing the older generation so sold out to this Buddhist and Taoist faith, and I finally understood how Jesus felt when it was said "He was filled with compassion for them" That's all I could feel especially when I saw the Ah-pos and Ah-koongs - a sense of deep compassion. I wasn't as bothered nor angered with the vices of the city of Bangkok but more sadness for the older ones I saw trying to make a living on the streets because I wanted so much for them to know God - to see a sense of abundance and hope in their faces.

I shared with my pastor who challenged me with this, "What are your pursuits?". He said it very lovingly to me to remind me that we can all talk about living a radical life, and about wanting to do this and that but are we actually living it out? I think what he was trying to tell me was I know it and I can talk about it, preach about it but what's more important is to really actively live it out by being intentional with my pursuits. And he followed on by saying to me, if I understand the urgency of the times today, my pursuits can only be in a particular direction and destiny.

I must admit that I'm not a natural when it comes to evangelising to others, or when it comes to sharing the gospel easily - I do get nervous, have goose bumps and would rather someone else do it, and I just pray or like what some people say, have the attitude that says "Yes Lord, Here am I but send him/her". Yet, God deposited something so real in my heart since Portugal for nations to come to know Him, and a deep sense of conviction, compassion and passion for peoples of a nation that I could not shake off. Everywhere I go, I see people and that same feeling stirs within me - what was I to do about it?

I was meant to be in Singapore on Father's day at my friend's church service but my Dad decided to drive only on Sunday afternoon instead of Saturday night so that meant I ended up in my church in KL. The sermon was on Acts. As this slide came up on the screen, I knew God was speaking to me directly "Passion is not the level of energy in our bodies but the level of fire in our obedience."

And it goes on to challenge the congregation about our call today to the world we live in
"Beloved, God has given us authority and He has given us the weapons of our warfare to help us, but we need to get up and fight. We need to repent of a passive spirit and stand with Christ’s authority in this day of war and battle. For if we fail to do either - pray or act, we might actually lose the soul of our nation! Our defeat might come, not because God's help was not available but because we saw the advance of evil and remained passive.

I needed to start tutoring my heart for this - and I thought I had loads of time to do that after the Breakthrough Weekend...Of course, what I did notrealise was that this was all part of the process of the work God started in Portugal and continued on right through the Breakthrough Weekend with God clearly reminding me of my One Life, One Purpose.

I am loving the way He is so gentle with me, and spurring me on to have the boldness and the courage to live...to exchange my weakness for His strength when I see myself as He sees me.
The courage to believe God when all else fails

The courage to act in obedience

The courage to change

The courage to persevere

I believe. I have hope.

Greater things are yet to come,

Greater things are still to be done in this city.

There is no one like our God.

Intended for good!

And we KNOW that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.
(Romans 8 v 28)

A verse that I have been holding on to, and meditating on for a few weeks now. I guess I was wondering why Paul actually said that, and how He could trust in the BIGNESS of God. How could he do what he did, with that he had , where he was and believed God with that total dependance 24/7 for breakthroughs?

Looking at his life, one could probably understand the depth of these words, but me - I found it hard initially to practically internalise and externalise the fullness of such words into my own life. As I knocked and knocked my way through the little passage ways of the situations I was in, it became even more difficult as this verse kept cropping up - Val, all things work out for the good of those who love Him. My friends quoted that same verse to me. My pastor preached on it. My quiet time constantly interjected that verse.

It became an anomoly to be that this verse became more apart of my life than anything else. On the tube, as I was walking, in meetings, while working, before I slept - this is all I thought about. No commentaries could even quenched the inquisite anomloy of my mind, or was it my heart?

Weirdo...

No, super weirdo :)

I soon realised it wasn't something I could learn through reading, surfing, studying commentaries but something I needed to experience and see for myself the power of God. Okay, so I did not know this until God overwhelmed me with his presence, and tells me one time after another - that is about that direct insight and intimacy from Him, the revealed One.

This is what sparked it off :

I spent alot of time talking to a friend who was going through a very tough time, listening and trying to see God in it. But as she reminded me, its so hard to believe that what she is going through is God's will. Journeying with someone is the easy part but its the process of having to glean perspectives and pointing the person back to God continuously that needs so much wisdom and prayer. I know Scriptures help but its making sense of it that moment in a person's life that really counts. She admits she repeats Romans 8 v 28 to herslef hanging on to it but its not enough to help her get through the day without feeling any better as much as she'd like to. She doesn't have any appetite and doesn't want to socialise much, just staying indoors and sinking into a melancholy of thoughts.

I felt helpless cos I know exactly what she means. I went through that too not too long ago. And I don't really know how step by step to guide her through..

In the midst of this, I believe God allowed many circumstances and situations into my life too, with my grandpa in critical condition in ICU being the most difficult of them all.

Yet, God decided to teach me a deep truth and lesson in my inner life....so that i can grasp perhaps this mystery the bible talks about of God's way, God's work in us of knowing Him in Paul's letters.

G wrote a song in this time I felt was so apt, that ministered to me that night just when my dad rang me to take the first flight back home when my granpa's condition deteriorated so badly. For the first time that night, I felt lost in translation. I didn't know how or why I was slumping into a low. I didn't feel any emotion just unable to mouth any words even to God.
And this song entitled "Remind Jesus" I believe was written so timely and just for me. G, if you are reading this, I am rather convinced that God gave you that song for me.

Remind Me Jesus

Everytime I feel so far away
When I'm simply whiling off my days
You've never stopped persuing me
While You simply let me be

Till the day I finally realise
Once again how much Your love is like
And I'm back here in this place again
In the prescence of the Lamb

Lord I know I'm not exactly fully back to where I'm used to be
All I ask is Jesus You will come and help me once again to see

Your grace and mercy overflows
Your love unfailing
On the cross You gave it all Lord
All for love You bore the pain and shame Lord
When circumstances bring me down
Remind me Jesus
That it's not for who I am Lord
But for who You are and what You've done Lord

As I was killing time in the KF lounge waiting for my flight the following day, this song kept replaying itself in my head with Romans 8 v 28. I guess with a glass of red wine, one can possibly be more composed :) hehe..I did feel led to just take out my bible quickly to read Romans 8 v 28 because as the words of the song ministered to me I was more than convicted that all things work for the good of those who love Him, and I felt God leading me to something more than just that verse...there was something not quite complete to those words ( okay, am not seeking to say that v28 is incomplete in a sense someone took something out of the bible!). As opened up Romans 8, let me share with you what I learnt:

1. Paul focus of his closing climax in Romans 8 is the security of God's people, on account ot the unchangeability of God's purpose and steadfastness of his love.

2. The certainty of God's provisional care to us. See, I didn't note the contrast before. But reading v 26, and then contrasting it with v28, there was a signifant difference. In v26, talking about prayer, it says that we DO NOT KNOW what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us in words we cannot express(NB: The secret things belong unto the Lord as in Deuteronomy) But contrast that v28, and we KNOW that all things work out for the good of those who love Him.

3. The extent of God's care - "all".The circumstances of the Christian’s life are ordained of God. There is no such thing as chance. Love refuses to believe that God is not interested in every detail of life. Everything is permitted and designed by Him for wise purposes. He will not cease His supervision for a moment.

4. The whys is found in v29 -30, which gives v28 its completeness. The ultimate end is that process, and journey that we are BEING conformed to the image of his Son

5. It's possible to have a "GOOD" for bad experiences, difficult times and circumstaces. Every adverse experience when rightly received can carry its quota of good. Bodily – pain and weakness cause us to feel our frailty. Perplexity reveals our lack of wisdom. Financial and failure humble our pride. All these things can be included in the term good.

6. God is not in the business of satisfying childish, foolish, self-destructive appetites, he is in the business of shaping you to be the person he made you to be – in the likeness of his Son.

7. In our own perspective and our own eyes, we cannot see the good God is doing in our lives because we forget WHO is the one that determines the good and bad in our lives. Reminded of the stories of my hero Jim Elliot, where sometimes a wider perspective reveals God's good purposes. My favourite sunday sch bible story of Joseph's life is another example. God intended it all for good!

8. A personal rebuke to me is that I don't trust God that he knows what He is doing because it is painful.

9. We see God's bigness in all of these words, but there is a part where v28 is limited. Its limited in that its only to those who love God and are called according to His purpose.

10. He chose us. He called us. He pre-destined us. He justified us. He glorified us. v 30 ends with God's saving purpose and He is working in accordance with it.

The flight back to Singapore was unforgettable that day, as I learnt a deep lesson in life where God was preparing also for this period of time back home with my family, unplanned but definitely for a purpose! When I met my mom at Changi Airport as we jumped on the plane to KL, I believed God had already prepared me in my spirit to see my granpa in ICU, knowing that He is in control. It was a difficult visit, and I could not bear seeing him the way he was. I was greatly affected. The reality is such. But the other reality is that, I can trust God that with a renewed understanding and assurance!

Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 1 v 6)