Life??

Dear friends,

It has been a month since the last entry, reasons varying from the notions of traveling to the more acceptable reason of pure laziness and procrastination. I guess the purpose of blogging is always to share something of my journey called "life" and its explicit paradoxities....but more importantly the goodness and faithfulness of God, to encourage all of you that even someone as tiny as me, matters to the Lord.

Here are some lessons I've truly captured in the course of the last few days for myself. Some might call it revelations but I prefer to call them, a tap on the shoulder and a knock on the head from a loving Father in His efforts to tell me that He isn't finish with me yet. Yes, for me to personally acknowledge that I am still sitting there in that garage, being worked upon with all the tools available so that I can be a crafty special display of a unique artwork.

Snippets I've learnt about myself today

• that I do not need to prove myself all the time
• that sometimes i don't say things as clearly as I should
• meekness is taking criticism without retorting, without reacting in anger or even trying to cover up or justify myself but instead, its is agreeing with the person's right to say what they want to say and understanding why they said because they may be right after all!
• that its crucial to train myself to accept criticism the same way we accept compliments! Can be quite liberating...cos where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom

More importantly I've learnt :

• to be real with God, with others and myself
• the quest for a sense of destiny comes from within
• to have a rested heart only in God
• to commit to set my mind on the things above
• to realise that one of the first steps to maturity is self awareness
• true significance and satisfaction is only experience in its fullness when its found in God
• I must have a desire to know what is on His heart, what moves Him, what honours Him and what gives Him pleasure

My great rebuke is one that has led me to spent a day praying for the kingdom and coming before Him in repentance for my selfishness in focusing so much on my own struggles, my own concerns and my own life rather than seeing the bigger picture of His commission to me as His child for the world out there - for people who still are not won into the kingdom.

God has disciplined me and chasten me. Life is short, are we playing hard enough? Are really realising just how much time we have left in our lifetime to be influencers for His kingdom? Have we really imagined people in our circles who are seperated from God being thrown into hell if we do not preach the gospel to them? Do they know the bad news? Are we taking steps to show them the way back is through Jesus? Jesus said, I come so that you may have life and have it to the full.

I've been so marred by my own insecurities and circumstances of my future and life the past few days...trying to deal with relational issues, work issues, school issues, money issues, issues of the future that I've somehow lost sight of God's heart. Sometimes I find myself loving the world and loving myself...I have found myself indulging in certain novelties that only give temporal but not eternal satisfaction...I have forgotten to set my mind on the things above and instead have crept into the dangers of focusing on my own desires for significance, status, love and acceptance.

Today, I found myself making peace with God - to understand that I am a precious gem to Him, made in His image to glorify Him here on earth, and I am His heir and yes, He is restoring my image in Him because that in reality is true significance, true security in Him. Nothing else I do or chase after or get will measure up to the rest I will find or receive from Him - this sense of human dignity and worth from God - that is my greatest treasure!

Intimacy with Christ is the remedy to any issue circulates in the human heart.

God is in control of our every situation and every molecule of our being. Wait patiently and walk in the Spirit - as this will result in persevering faith to crucify our flesh and manifest the Spirit that allows us to cope with all things. He is never too early or too late. He is always just on time! Our part is simply to "yield"!

Loving God 100% is an act of surrender. Surrender and Submission is an act of will. So as the song goes, our future is SO BOLD because of the Lord Jesus. This is what I'd want my life to me, a surrendered life even if that means I have to be broken time and time again...but I want to persevere still, with the reminder that surrendedness is key...and it is truly an act of will. The ball is in our court - just how much are we ready to surrender - are there areas where we haven't really been able to surrender fully? This question will be one that I will continually need to keep in check daily, a slow process as it is for me...but I believe God is patient..and He gives us all the time we need as long as we are willing and open..

In the area of evangelism, I really pray for those of us who are Christians, that we will corporately rise up and pray for that same compassion Jesus had for the lost - so that we too will share His burden for the people out there. It is time to step outside our comfort zone, though with initial uneasiness but once it becomes our culture, it will be a great anointing of the Spirit we have ever known in our lives.

Set your hearts and minds on things above, not on earthly things - so that our service and our consecration is on things above and not carnal :)

THE HAMMER HOLDS - BEBO NORMAN

A shapeless piece of steel, that's all I claim to be
This hammer pounds to give me form, this flame, it melts my dreams
I glow with fire and fury, as I'm twisted like a vine
My final shape, my final form I'm sure I'm bound to find

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

And the water, it cools me gray, and the hurt's subdued somehow
I have my shape, this sharpened point, what is my purpose now?
And the question still remains, what am I to be?
Perhaps some perfect piece of art displayed for all to see

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the flames
And hurt a little, hurt for me my future is untold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

The hammer pounds again, but flames I do not feel
This force that drives me, helplessly, through flesh, and wood reveals
A burn that burns much deeper, it's more than I can stand
The reason for my life was to take the life of a guiltless man

So dream a little, dream for me in hopes that I'll remain
And cry a little, cry for me so I can bear the pain
And hurt a little, hurt for me, my future is so bold
But my dreams are not the issue here, for they, the hammer holds

This task before me may seem unclear
But it, my maker holds