Thursday Blues

Jon encourages me to be authentic and to practise it …No fear of man. No fear of what people think of you. Firstly, I start off by asking for your prayers for Jon who is in Acheh now. May the Lord use him there in his field of work to impact lives and may the Lord protect him.

Back to me…My studying has slowed down this week…The weather has gone bogusly freezing....The bank has messed up my credit and debit cards…My printer has not arrived after I stayed home all day waiting for it to be delivered…My room is in a horrendous mess….My washing machine is leaking…My wireless connection isn’t working…I am missing my family and SIB....I am missing CNY and 3 weddings…the list goes on…

I have been preparing for this week’s IDMF Conference….and I feel it’s a journey in itself that the Lord has taken me on and I’m perhaps reaching my destination this weekend. Well, am I? A journey is like a process…many things we learn, many paths we tread on, many pebbles we pick up, many rainy days we endured….

I have been stressed. I have been upset and frustrated. Is this right? Is this servanthood? I went to the OM office yesterday to meet up with Kenny Gan for a time of informal mentoring and he reminded me that I cannot take short cuts both in my christian walk and in what I set out to do daily (of course, this is with the exception of driving routes). I realised, all that I went through, the emotions I felt though negative was necessary. In all things we learn. In all things, its about how we respond. Its about attitude and aptitude.

Only one question needs to be asked “ Am I excited about God?” If it is a YES, I will naturally be passionate, motivated and convicted to go all out to serve the living God with joy! It doesn’t matter that sometimes I haven’t got it all together – all that matters is where my heart is. I have been thinking about 3 things lately : Am I seeing grace? Am I serving faithfully? Am I surrendering gladly? Wee Leon shared this with me sometime in November at a season where I was in the midst of church plant mission work. That was divine because the very next day I went back to placement only to be told that I had to leave. It was painful. I was angry. I didn’t understand why God allowed it to happen. Then I asked those three questions. It was timely then. It is timely now. It will always be timely. In all of our lives, we must solely be committed to one thing : the Lord Jesus and building his kingdom. So, can we really surrender, forsake all for Christ?

We ask ourselves sometimes is it worth it Lord?? All this time and effort I’m investing into the weekend and in people – is it worth it? Does it make a difference? Tell me Lord …tell me…

Then we you ask yourself such questions, you feel all silly and stupid. I know I did because the first after thought I had was this : Wonder if Jesus ever felt this way when he had to forsake all his glory for me? Wonder if Paul ever felt this way when he was persecuted? Wonder if Stephen thought given up his life was worth it? All these people put me too shame. They really display to us tangible testimonies of a life fully lived out full fledge for Christ. I learnt something else from my mentoring session yesterday : that when we are GOD CONSCIOUS, we are GOD CONFIDENT! Amen!

So, I’m back to asking myself my reason and objectives : why am I doing what I am doing? It is only in knowing the answer will I be able to focus and actualise all I seek to do with the excellent spirit that the Lord desires – to do it well. Always know WHY and you will be on the right track again..

No short cuts but there is always the right way.

I am excited about God. I am excited about the work He is doing. I am excited to be apart of it.

I believe in disciplemaking! Oops..correction, I believe in INTENTIONAL disciplemaking!

Pray for us this weekend. There will be 87 leaders of UK student fellowships coming together for our very first IDMF! Revival is here in UK and God is using us!

My Reward (written and sung by Paul Baloche)

I want to hear You say the words to me “well done”
I want to hear You say “good and faithful servant”
I want to hear You say “I’ve prepared a place for you”
Let all the treasures of this world fade away

Jesus, You are my reward
To hear Your voice on that day is all I’m living for
Jesus, You are my reward
To see Your face on that day is all I’m living for

In the twinkling of an eye, we’ll all be changed
We’ll meet you in the sky
We will meet You face to face