Are You Really There O God?

Dear Lord,

Life is a series of questions and answers. Or is it not? Someone once said there is power in asking the right questions.You ask the right questions , you get the right answer which will probably give you new insights to live life or draw you backwards (either it breaks you are make you?)

I have learnt much through asking questions but more so being challenged with questions by others - the questions of a nature which are usually difficult and leaves me awe struck.

Hence many blog entries I have read of my close friends and through the email correspondence this week, I feel that my heart is very heavy. Many are questions about God and about church and life centred issues. Have we reached an age that christianity and church is no longer relevant to young adults? Why are my close friends who share in my life journey becoming more cynical about the faith or the church?

Where have all the authentic Christians gone?

My cousin once expressed his thoughts on Christins and Church today. "My biggest fear for the church in this country is that it will be reduced to just an irrelevant, though thriving, niche culture in society. It will still be the ideal place for training thousands of eager Christians to be effective full-time church workers, but when those same youngsters are thrown into the unfamiliar world of the workplace, they may find themselves relationally-stunted and unable to connect meaningfully with the world's folk. The world does not need to meet self-righteous Christians bent on conquest, but fellow humans who are willing to share all their glory and shame, hoping to find friends to walk with on life's journey."

Today I spoke to someone who told me he found more "God" in the workplace amongst non christian friends then he ever did in the last one year in the church. He experienced more love, more transperency, more authenticity, more understanding, more connection, more honesty, more help than he did in the midst of christians. This sold out passionate christian for the Lord has come to the crossroads. He has asked many questions and today he left me with one, "How can people still trust Jesus?"

This questions left me with more questions. I don't know the answer. Am I supposed to have an answer?

My only comfort are in the voice within me that tells me "all is not lost"

I feel real sad. I feel the pain. The dissatisfaction people have with us Christians and the church is something I find so difficult to embrace. Have we lost our distinctiveness? Have we lost the basis of the gospel truth and turned it into some religious feel good magic?

Talking about questions, I look back to the olden times. The passage of the rich young ruler where he asks "What must I do to inherit the kingdom?"

I realised that classically Jesus' answer is never a straight answer but he takes you to the answer just like this young ruler.

Maybe it is like that for me too - I dun have a straight answer but I believe the Lord is taking me along a path, leading me to the answer.

My other friend this evening then spoke to me about how sometimes we cannot just rely on God completely to do things for us and is quite tired of people telling him do your best and God will do the rest. His opinion is one that we cannot say God did not want this or that for us all the time when we don't get what we want. Then, he asks this question, our priorites must be secular as much spiritual because isn't that God plan for our lives? Doesn't he want us to succeed and do well?

My take on this is probably rather radical but I hold on to only one thing : Follow Him at all cost....how does Jesus illustrate it : exposing us and stripping us bare of our true heart's values and motives - this is what the passage was trying to tell us right?

The young ruler just would not or rather could not follow.

I don't want to sound judgemental but I dun know how we can serve 2 Masters.

Total trust, total humility, total dependence - can I do that? I know that God wants us to be an example in our workplace or universities but not at the expense of our main priority. Our priority is always God, isn't it? It has to be right?

Come, follow Him - is this another one of those christian jargons? Can we be true to ourselves to really do it?

These days we always have a "back-up" plan in all we do. We are in a position where we find ourselves deserving to bargain with God. Robust in nature this whole christian life - is it just a game? is it just a culture?

Lord, when I stand before you, I want a right to heaven...If you were to ask me, go sell everything, not physical possessions but everything of me -what will my answer be?

Is the answer going to be I cannot sell or I will not follow ?

How I answer that question will determine my destiny. Help me also die to self that I will not choose anything before you.

It is what God can do not what we can do to inherit the kingdom. I know now God.

Please reveal yourself to my friends and convict their hearts to return to their first love.

Please help me to work and walk through life with the right heart.

Please teach me to be a true disciple and be a disciple maker.

Please use me to partner with others to build your kingdom and make a difference in this world - that people will know that Christianity is not a culture!

Teach me to love the church and love my family.

I entrust what is yours to you O Lord.

In Jesus Name,
Amen